Hooked on Vampires

 

 (imdb)

VAMPIRE HOOKERS-1978-Tom Buckley (Bruce Fairbairn) & Terry Wayne (Trey Wilson) are two sailors on leave in The Philippines. While looking for a missing buddy, Tom stumbles upon old vampire Reed Richmond (John Carradine) and his 3 vampire brides (Karen Stride,Lenka Novak,Katie Dolan) who pose as hookers to lure unsuspecting victims. They are assisted by the pathetic Pavo (Vic Diaz) who wants to ge a vampire but for some reason isn't. A running gag is his farting. Richmond says things like “Walt Whitman must have been a vampire”.

 It's pretty cheesy despite the good-looking vampire girls. Reed Richmond was actually Carradine's real first names. 

The screenplay is by Howard R. Cohen who later wrote a lot for Roger Corman productions (SPACE RAIDERS, DEATHSTALKER). Director Cirio H. Santiago (FIRECRACKER (1981)) made around 100 movies.

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Too Tufts To Die

 

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SERPENT ISLAND-1954-A rummy sailor Pete Mason (Sonny Tufts) agrees to help Miss Ricky Andre (Mary Munday) find the family treasure using the infamous Andre Letter which she carries. They charter a boat for Haiti from Capt. Ellis (Tom Monroe) who doesn't like Mason and vice-versa and eventually they have a fight. Pete and Ricky go off to an island as he doesn't believe the gold is in Haiti. On the island Pete puts his moves on Ricky. At first, she resists but then accepts it and judging by the scenes of crashing waves they have a great time! Pete and Ricky are captured by the island natives. There are actually only two. The rest is stock footage. Pete even knows the head priestess (Rosalind Hayes). Her servant Jacques (Don Blackman) has a couple of fights with Pete. The gold they are looking for is an idol worshiped by the locals. A giant snake almost kills Ricky but Pete saves her. Ellis however has other plans but he's bitten by a snake. Pete & Ricky escape, gold-less but in love. 

This romantic adventure story is very cheap with a minimal cast. This was writer/director Tom Gries debut but he went on to TV in the '50's and '60's and much later made some bigger budgeted movies like WILL PENNY (1967), the TV mini-series HELTER SKELTER (1976), THE GREATEST (his last in 1977) and others. Mr BIG himself Bert I. Gordon was the producer and cinematographer, a year before he directed his first film, KING DINOSAUR! Star Sonny Tufts had been in CAT-WOMAN OF THE MOON the year before.

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Warren Strikes Again!

 

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ATTACK OF THE MAYAN MUMMY-1964-Dr. Munson relates to a newspaper publisher (uncredited Bruno VeSota) the strange case of Dr. Redding (Ramon Gay) and his regression experiments with one Ann Taylor (Rosita Arenas), a reincarnated Mayan princess. They visit a Mayan tomb and are chased away by a scary looking mummy. 

If this all sounds familiar, it should. This is actually the first Aztec mummy movie reedited by Jerry Warren. He added around 30 minutes of new footage which is basically American actors (including Warren regular Steve Conte) talking endlessly about nonsense. 

The final shot is a wastepaper basket. Rafael Portillo was the original director.

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Oh My Goodness!

 

 

 (imdb)

PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL-ABC-1976-I've read about this special and how awful and bizarre it is but really it's probably not much different than any other TV variety special being produced at the time. It reeks the '70's with everyone trying to be hip, disco dancing and Kiss. Yes, Kiss is the musical guest and they do three songs! There's bits involving truckers, rhinestone cowboys, etc. But the guest list besides Kiss includes Tim Conway, Billy Barty and some woman who was on Happy Days at the time (she was fired after a couple of episodes) and cameos by Betty White and Donny & Marie! In a strange move two witches are thrown in. Billie Barnes as Witchie Poo (from TV's “H.R. Pufnstuf”) and Margaret Hamilton reprising her role as the Wicked Witch! 

Lynde made several specials under his ABC contract after none of his sit-com pilots were picked up. He seems very sincere in his closing monologue. Director Sid Smith made most of anything Bob Hope later did on TV.

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Corman Tackles Racism

 

 (the movie database)

THE INTRUDER-1962-Smooth talking snake oil salesman Adam Cramer (William Shatner) comes to town to stir up racial tension on the eve of school desegregation. He represents "The Patrick Henry Society" and wants to fight against integration even though it's the law. Lots of dumb racist hicks (including Robert Emhardt) rally to him. He leads the KKK through town and is indirectly responsible for the death of a black minister. He uses a newspaper owner's daughter (Beverly Lundsford) to bring phony rape charges against a black student (Charles Barnes). Salesman Sam Griffin (Leo Gordon) knows Cramer is only smoke and mirrors and a pathetic coward. This all comes out in the finale which takes place in a schoolyard. 

The script is by Charles Beaumont (based on his novel) who also plays a persecuted teacher. Two other writers, William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, have small roles. Pretty daring stuff for director Roger Corman to tackle in 1962 but he does a fine job. Brother Gene co-produced it.

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Made For TV

 

FRANKENSTEIN-2004-Meandering bs about a 2000-year-old mad surgeon (Thomas Kretschmann) who creates a bunch of monsters that terrorize New Orleans. 

His "monster" (Vincent Perez) searches for him while a policewoman (Parker Posey) and her partner (Adam Goldberg) try to figure it out. Everyone whispers in the dark gloomy setting and Michael Madsen is another cop. From the ending, the producers (including Martin Scorsese) thought this junk was going to have a sequel.

 Originally called “Dean R. Koontz's Frankenstein” because USA network hired him to write the thing but they had a falling out and Koontz left and wrote a series of “Frankenstein” books. Director Marcus Nispel had made a remake of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE the year before. He went on to remake FRIDAY THE 13^th (2009) and CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011).

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Horror Remake

 

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WEB OF THE SPIDER-1971-An American reporter Foster (Anthony Franciosa) meets Edgar Allan Poe (Klaus Kinski) in England and winds up making a bet to spend the night in a haunted castle. After investigating the place he meets two women, Julia (Karin Field) & Elizabeth (Michele Mercier). They don't seem to like each other. It's clear that something is going on. After Elizabeth seduces Foster, a man breaks in and seems to kill her. Foster shoots the man but his body disappears. Then Elizabeth's body also vanishes. While searching for the missing bodies, Foster meets doctor Carmis (Peter Carsten) who vanished years before. He proves through some apparitions/flashbacks that everyone in the house is dead. 

This stylish remake of NIGHTMARE CASTLE directed Antonio Margheriti (under the pseudonym Anthony Dawson) is good but I prefer the original. This was one of 10 films Klaus Kinski made in 1971.

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