Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Subterranean Bad Movie Blues

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HEARTS OF FIRE-Warner Bros.-1987-Apparently someone thought ‘80’s singer Fiona was going to be more than just a one hit wonder and decided she should star in a movie. Joe Eszterhas co-wrote it (years before his 3 million dollar paycheck for BASIC INSTINCT) and Raymond Marquand (THE RETURN OF THE JEDI) directed it! But the wildest thing of all is that Bob Dylan co-stars in it!

Fiona plays Molly Maguire, a toll taker by day, struggling singer/guitarist in a cover bar band at night. She meets reclusive fallen rock star Billy Parker (Dylan) now living on his late father’s farm. They sing one of his “hits” (a song called “The Usual” written by someone else) and then he invites her to join him in England for an “oldies” concert. Richie Havens, Ron Wood and Ian Dury have small roles around this time. They also meet an unhappy new wave type teen idol James Colt (Rupert Everett) who sings Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” several times. Young fans mob him when he’s out with his young daughter and he and Molly become lovers. Julian Glover plays his manservant. Parker trashes a hotel room and goes back home and Molly goes on a world tour with Colt. A blind woman tries to kill him and Molly returns home to be crooned by Billy in a barn.

It’s not the really bad movie it could have been. It’s just not very good. Dylan did this 9 years after his self-made colossal disaster RENALDO &  CLARA and except for cameos didn’t act again until MASKED AND ANONYMOUS in 2003. Fiona was a typical ‘80’s female “screamer” with little talent.

It went directly to video and was the last feature for Marquand who died suddenly of a heart attack the same year. He also directed THE BIRTH OF THE BEATLES, EYE OF THE NEEDLE and JAGGED EDGE (also written by Eszterhas). The Hungarian born Eszterhas was a former “Rolling Stone” writer who later wrote the pathetic SHOWGIRLS.

Rupert Everett went on to star in many unusual features like CEMETERY MAN and INSIDE MONKEY ZETTERLAND.

Thanks for reading!

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