Three The Bad Way

DOUBLE TEAM-1997-This movie is terrible. Mickey Rourke is the villian and Dennis Rodman is a good guy! Jean Claude Van Damme of course is the actual star. He spends a lot of time holding his breath under water and kicks bad guys in the head. He really needs acting lessons though and his English is still atrocious. Rourke does his usual non-acting and looks like he's had bad plastic surgery. Rodman's dialogue contains a lot of basketball refrences but Kareem Abdul-Jabar was better in GAME OF DEATH. It's all pretty annoying despite the fact it was directed by Hark Tsui who made ONCE UOPN A TIME IN CHINA and PEKING OPERA BLUES! Well, it worked for John Woo! The one good fight takes place in a hotel room. Hark didn't learn his lesson though and directed Van Dumme in the even worst KNOCK OFF the next year. Fortunately he returned to Hong Kong later on and made TIME AND TIDE, ZU WARRIORS and BLACK MASK 2.



Director Paul Nicholas aka Lutz Schaarwhachter is responsible for such dreck as JULIE DARLING, CHAINED HEAT and NAKED CAGE. He also made the bizarre NIGHT OF THE ARCHER (1994) wherein a lot of bow and arrow shenanigans take place on an estate owned by sleazy Joseph Bologna and his frigid wife Barbara Carrera. At dinner they insult each other and while their daughter (Avital Dicker) goes head to head in a tournament with a greasy biker (Eric Roberts wannabe Jeff Griggs) being chased by two idiot gangsters. Sandahl Bergman shows up as a horse trainer and Bologna's character winds up dead. Who did it? Who cares? Every one in this shot in Germany dog is weird.........



By it's title alone BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER (2002) should speak volumes. Volumes of "stay away", "do not rent", "do not watch". The only people who should go ballistic are the poor unfortunate movie goers who got suckered into paying to see this trash that should have gone directly to video.

Antonio Banderas (looking like he's been up all night snorting coke with Melanie Griffith) plays some kind of ex-agent who whispers alot. Lucy Liu (obviously being groomed to be the new Karen Black) is another agent who kidnaps Banderas' son, kills about a hundred people and is suppose to evoke sympathy from the (hopefully very gullible) audience. Gregg Henry (who when he's seen in a silly fedora looks like he could play the lead if they ever decided to make a bio of that guy on The Quaker Oats Box) is another agent and "bad guy" but it's quite confusing when you like the villian (who can at least act) better than the supposed lead "good guys" (who are stiffs). There's lots of violent explosions and shootouts but movies like this give the term "action film" a bad name. The Tawianese director of this schlok also made a movie called FAH.

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