Wrestlers Or Rock Stars?

THE MARINE-2006-You would have thought after the debacle of NO HOLDS BARRED in the ‘80’s dirt bag wrestling owner Vince McMahon Jr. would have learned his lesson about making movies. But of course being the self-centered bastard that he is, Junior decided the time was right to try it again. Too bad for us all!

All he could come up with was a cheap Swartzenegger rip-off starring the guy, John Cena who at the time happened to be the champion of McMoron’s wrestling promotion. Every cliché’ in the book is thrown in. Explosions abound. It’s the kind of action flick that gives CGI a bad name. Robert Patrick is the bad guy who kills a lot of people (there’s even a TERMINATOR in joke). Director John Bonito had previously done work for wrestling on TV. Hopefully we will never hear from him again. Chuck this shit and go watch John Woo’s HARDBOILED!



TWO LANE BLACKTOP-1971-A duo drag race their way around the USA. James Taylor is The Driver and Dennis Wilson is The Mechanic. Both need acting lessons. Warren Oates is GTO another driver who challenges them to a race in Washington DC. Laurie Bird is The Girl. Harry Dean Stanton appears as a gay hitchhiker. Everyone walks around a lot and works on their cars. Sometimes they talk. Cult Director Monte Hellman made this between THE SHOOTING and COCKFIGHTER (which also featured Oates & Bird). They didn’t seem to know how to end the movie so the final scene has the film burn away. Some have said this is the ultimate road movie. I say it’s pretty boring…



GREENDALE-(2003)-A few years ago it seemed like every actor or actress would direct at least one movie in his or her lifetime. Fortunately that “trend” has kind of abated. Still egotistic nobodies like Vincent Gallo make their own movies and actually get them released so why can’t a rock and roll icon like Neil Young?

Of course this isn’t his first attempt. He directed several of his own concert films (like RUST NEVER SLEEPS) and one very bizarre “real” movie called HUMAN HIGHWAY. This is totally different from anything he has done before and in fact it’s totally different from most other films too! It’s kind of a rock opera/musical/parable, which besides writing the music he also produced and directed (under his usual pseudonym “Bernard Shakey”). It’s filmed in grainy Super 8 except for some excellent CNN like news reports. The central characters are The Green Family including their hippie father, his two sons (one a painter, one a cop killer) and his environmentalist granddaughter. There’s no dialogue. The characters only mouth Young’s lyrics at certain points in his songs. The story involves topics that usually pop up in Young’s songs: saving the environment, not trusting the government and manipulation by the media. It’s kind of experimental I guess but not all that interesting, mainly because (much like Frank Zappa’s 200 MOTELS) with the exception of two songs (“Bandit” and “Be The Rain”) the music isn’t up to Young usual standards. The director appears briefly as Wayne Newton…

Thanks for reading!