Herc, Bela and Clones!

HERCULES VS. THE MOON MEN-1964-After the success of the two Hercules movies imported from Italy and starring Steve Reeves, many sequels and imitations followed. This originally followed the exploits of Maciste but for US audiences his name was changed to Hercules. He’s played by Alan Steel (real name: Sergio Ciani of Italy). Herc battles alien rock men on “The Mountain of Death”. A local Queen teams up with them but is no match for the legendary strongman. There’s a strange ape like creature with fangs thrown in too.

It’s pretty entertaining despite the bad dubbing and cheesy SFX. Director Giacomo Gentilomo had been making movies (GOLIATH VS. THE VAMPIRES) since 1937 but MOON MEN was his last. He retired from filmmaking and became a painter. The DVD I saw (from Alpha Video) also included a “Hercules Gallery” of posters and lobby cards.



THE PHANTOM CREEPS-1949-This is a highly condensed feature version of the crazy 1939 serial starring Bela Lugosi as the mad genius Dr. Zorka. He invents a lot of gadgets including a huge monster robot with a big head (it was resurrected in the Rob Zombie video “Living Dead Girl”). He also has an invisibility belt, poison gas gun and a new exploding element he discovered. A scene from THE INVISIBLE RAY (in which Lugosi co-starred with Karloff in 1936) is shown when Zorka explains how he found the new element. But if you look closely you’ll see Karloff’s eyes through the mining suit! Bela sneers a lot and really hams it up as he tries to rule the world with only the help of one lone escaped con who betrays him constantly. Even so, Zorka keeps taking him back and trusting him with different jobs! (Maybe the budget didn’t allow for more actors..???) Robert Kent (who also acted as Dennis Bleckly) is the government agent out to stop him who’s nearly killed in every other scene and Bela’s DRACULA co-star Edward Van Sloan plays the leader of some foreign spies who Zorka runs a foul of.



THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS-1965-Gigantic Richard Kiel (soon after EEGAH!) is Dr. Kolos, a visiting alien who’s ordered by his superior (some guy shown only in negative) to clone human beings and conquer the Earth. Doesn’t really seem like a sound plan; guess that’s why it fails. He makes genetic scientist Dr. Dornhiemer (George Macready) and his staff his slaves and begins cloning various scientific types to do some sabotage. But he makes a mistake by kind of falling in love with Dornhiemer’s blind granddaughter (Dolores Faith) leaving her free will intact. Wiseass government agent Glen Martin (ROBOT MONSTER’S George Nader) is sent to snoop around the scientist’s mansion while his grouchy boss (LEAVE IT TO BEAVER dad Hugh Beaumont) and girl Friday (Barbara Nicholls) stand around wondering where he is. Later on the clones rebel again Kolos and Nader has to fight a duplicate of himself (who’s missing an arm). When the clones fall down during fights their ceramic like heads break into pieces. Richard Arlen (who had co-starred in the silent film classic WINGS in better days) is another government agent who hangs around and acts grumpy too.

It’s pretty boring but Kiel’s acting is funny especially when he’s “talking tough” with commands like “Do as I say or I will destroy you!”. Fortunately THD was the last movie made by director Hugo Grimaldi (he only made 3 anyway). He was mostly an editor who dubbed foreign films into English (including GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN).

Screenwriter/Producer Arthur C. Pierce wrote several low budget films in the early 60’s including DESTINATION INNER SPACE and CYBORG 2087.

Thanks for reading!

Willard!

WILLARD-2003-Back in remake land comes this new version of the 70’s horror hit.

Crispin Glover plays the lonely weird office worker who lives in a gothic like house with his ailing mother. Somehow he becomes friends with the vermin in his basement led by white haired Socrates and dark haired Ben. While Bruce Davidson’s earlier portrayal was that of an unsophisticated friendless nerd, a guy you really felt sorry for, Glover plays this Willard as a dark almost sinister loony. Of course many CGI rats do his biding, eventually eating up his overbearing boss (R. Lee Ermey, over the top as usual). Using Davidson’s image and photo as Willard’s dead father is a nice touch though.

A strange film that contains some good performances and effects but somehow fails to deliver. First time director Glenn Morgan wrote FINAL DESTINATION and THE ONE as well as many TV episodes of THE X-FILES, MILLENNIUM and SPACE ABOVE AND BEYOND (which featured Ermey).

Have a nice weekend!

Parts Is Parts

PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR-1979 -Former second Darren Stevens on TV’s BEWITCHED Dick Sargent (who was in Paul Schrader's HARDCORE the same year) runs a camp of young people training to go to a place called America. Surprise! He’s actually in charge a secret cloning project called “Clonus” and is “harvesting” the poor dopes so their vital organs can later be used to save the lives of politicians, millionaires and other evil people.

Meanwhile Presidential shoo-in Jeffery Knight (Peter Graves) campaigns. One camper member and future organ donor named Richard (Tim Donnelley) falls in love with the strange looking Lena (Paulette Breen). After he finds a beer can in a nearby river, Richard decides all is not what it seems to be. He runs away and winds up in LA. He steals a bicycle and crashes into the garbage cans of retired reporter Jake Noble (Keenan Wynn). Richard kind of explains his situation (“Can you help me find my other part?”) and Jake argues with his wife (Lurene Tuttle) providing the most entertaining scene in the whole movie!

After viewing a film Richard brought with him Jake takes the clone to meet his DNA counterpart a professor named Richard Knight (Wow! What a coincidence! They are both named Richard!). He lives with his weird looking son Ricky. They seem more like lovers than father and son. Anyway, when Prof. is convinced that Richard is his clone he decides to contact his brother Jeffery who just happens to be running for President. Bad move! Jeff knows all about Clonus and in fact arranged to have the Richard clone made! That’s brotherly love!

The whole thing plays like a typical but slightly more violent ‘70’s TV movie. It’s bad and boring but funny and entertaining in spots. Director Robert S. Fiveson never made another movie but sued the makers of THE ISLAND in 2005 for plagiarism. I'm not even sure if this was ever released into theaters. I originally saw on cable in the early '80's.

Graves played George Washington in the made for TV THE REBELS the same year as this. Good commercial roles seemed to elude "Mission: Impossible"'s Mr. Phelps until AIRPLANE in 1980 but who can really complain about the guy who played the hero in KILLERS FROM SPACE??

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 later used this and produced one of their funniest episodes…

Thanks for reading!

Silent/Western

THE CAT AND THE CANARY-1927-Newly resorted version (Thanks TCM!) of the seldom seen silent haunted house mystery. It was one of only 4 movies German director Paul Leni made in America (He died suddenly in 1929).

20 years after the death of rich Cyrus West, his will is to be read. The heirs to his fortune are invited to spend the night at his mansion. They include stars Laura La Plante and Creighton Hale. There are suspicious characters, secret panels, clutching hands, all sorts of creepy trappings later borrow by many other films. A must see. Also with Tully Marshall, Lucien Littlefield and Arthur Edmund Carewe.



VALDEZ IS COMING-1971-Burt Lancaster stars as Valdez a Mexican American sheriff who accidentally kills a suspected murderer fingered by a wealthy dirt bag (Jon Cypher). When it turns out the victim was innocent Valdez wants the dirt bag to pay his widow 100 dollars but instead the dirt bag has Valdez tied to a cross and sent into the desert. After he’s freed (by Richard Jordan in his film debut) Valdez goes after the bad guys and kidnaps the dirt bag’s wife (Susan Clark). Frank Silvera plays Valdez’s Mexican friend and Hector Elizondo is in one scene. VIC has a certain “Spaghetti Western” feel to it (and is obviously Sergio Leone inspired) but the revenge story line could have been better. Mystery novelist Elmore Leonard wrote it and it was the directorial screen debut of Edward Sherin, a Broadway director who later went into TV. Lancaster scored better with the stateside LAWMAN made the same year. He and Clark were later in THE MIDNIGHT MAN in 1974. 

Thanks for reading!

Sunday Morning Quickies

 ICHI THE KILLER-2001-Amazing and violent thriller from Takashi Miike. Two Yakuza groups fight over one of their missing bosses and the 100 million yen that disappeared with him. In the middle is Ichi, a seemingly idiotic hired killer with razor boots who literally slices people in half. He is tortured by the memories of bullies and the gang rape of his friend. But all isn’t what it seems to be. Some awesome graphic SFX highlight this unique feature but a brutal rape scene is hard to watch.



TRUE GAME OF DEATH-1981-Now this movie is bad but it’s also hysterical. Bruce Le portrays Bruce Lee who is poisoned by his wife but for some reason doesn’t die and comes back in disguise. Later he has to rescue her from gangsters. It’s all because the bad guys don’t want him doing a movie. It’s in bad taste I guess but it is funny! Le (a terrible fighter) made lots of movies with the name “Bruce” in them and directed some too. He may have been a stunt coordinator on MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 3 (there were 3 of them?) but he his last movie was in 1992.



CHRONICLE OF THE RAVEN-2004-Argentinean horror movie, shot in English about a young woman (Gina Phillips from JEEPERS CREEPERS) who returns to her family’s estate after the death of her sister (?). The whole family is under a curse instigated by her grandmother (Faye Dunaway chewing the scenery outrageously). It’s pretty routine and guessable but it would have been easier to take if the Phillips' character was more likable. Also known as JENNIFER'S SHADOW.






SAMARIA (SAMARITAN GIRL)-2004-Korean made tale of two girls who dabble in amateur prostitution after school. Yeo-jin sets things up and collects the money while her friend Jae-yeong takes care of the sexual end. When Jae-yeong dies jumping from a window to escape the police Yeo-jin take her place. When her police detective father finds out things take a violent turn. The film has many nice touches and great acting but it was a little too slow for me.

Thanks for reading!

"You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you"-John Wooden