See No Good Movie

SEE NO EVIL-2006-Eight teenage delinquents are send to clean up a dilapidated hotel where a bald evil serial killer is hiding out. The group also includes an ex-cop who years before had shot the killer in the head. Most of this is a derivative mess is torture and killings (he likes to pluck out eyes) but I was surprised when the ex-cop was killed so quickly! The killer (named Jacob Goodnight although he is never called that in the movie only in the credits…go figure…) is played by Glen Jacobs better known to some as the pro-wrestler Kane which should not come as a surprise as this nasty nonsense was a “WWE production” and head scumbag I mean honcho Vince McMahon Jr. was the executive producer. Who the hell knows what he was thinking?

SNE was directed by Gregory Dark, one half of the Dark Brothers who used to produce adult (aka porno) movies. He made a lot of non-porn under the name Gregory Hippolyte. Screenwriter Dan Madigan wrote episodes of the WWE TV product RAW. Their previous production was THE MARINE which starred another pro wrestler. See my review here: 

http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2009/10/wrestlers-or-rock-stars.html 

I’m tired of promoting McMoron’s crap….

Thanks to my buddy Tony for lending this movie to me...

Happy Thanksgiving! Have A Blast.....

BLAST OF SILENCE-1961-Hit man Baby Boy Frankie Bono (writer/director Allen Baron who resembles Robert DeNiro) comes to NYC on Christmas Eve to shadow a potential hit job in this low budget film noir that for years was undeservedly over looked.

A narrator (un-billed Lionel Stander) provides cynical narration. Checking out a future hit (a minor gangster) provides great shots of New York in the early ’60’s (especially of Harlem in front of The Apollo Theater and Rockefeller Center). He buys a gun from Big Ralphie (Larry Tucker), a whispering fat guy with an apartment full of caged rats. After a Christmas walk, he meets Petey “from the orphanage”. He introduces Frankie to his sister Lori (Molly McCarthy) and he goes to their Christmas party where dances and rolls a peanut with his nose! He has a Christmas Day dinner date with Lori but kind of blows when he puts the moves on her too strongly. Meanwhile, he keeps following his prey learning his moves and routines. He then takes time to go to The Village Gate where a conga player singer named Dean Sheldon does two great songs! When Big Ralphie tries to blackmail Frankie they have a terrific, violent fight amid the escaped rats. Frankie decides he doesn’t want the hit. He’d rather make time with Lori but it turns out she has a steady boyfriend. He goes off and makes the hit but winds up shot to death on Long Island (because the mob doesn’t trust him anymore).

I really like BLAST OF SILENCE. It's gritty low budget photography really sets the mood. I read about it many years ago but never saw hide nor hair of it until it was “re-discovered” a while back. Star/director/writer Baron helmed one other feature TERROR IN THE CITY in 1964 then went into TV. The sometimes over the top narration was written by future Academy Award winner Waldo Salt. Producer/cinematographer/editor Merrill S. Brody shot CUBAN REBEL GIRLS in ‘59.

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Make Mine Marvel! Part 3

X-MEN 3: LAST STAND-2006-Although I read a lot of bad reviews for this hit second sequel I really enjoyed it. There are some rough spots but what movie is perfect? Nearly everyone returns including top billed Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, Halle Berry as Storm, Patrick Stewart as Prof. X and Ian McKellan as Magneto. Famke Jansen's Jean Grey is even resurrected as Dark Phoenix. Kelsey Grammer is The Beast. Michael Murphy is a scientist who has invented a cure for mutants. Magneto (acting more like the comic book version than ever before) doesn’t like it and puts together a mutant army to overthrow the world. The finale is great. 

Director Brett Ratner helmed all three RUSH HOUR movies and made many music videos early in his career. He was the executive producer of the first season of TV’s PRISON BREAK. 

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Make Mine Marvel?-Part 2

FANTASTIC FOUR 2: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER-2007-The mostly miscast four (Ioan Grufford as Reed Richards, Jennifer Alba as Sue Richards, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm and Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm) returns to save the Earth from the high-flying Silver Surfer (voice of Lawrence Fishburne), herald to the planet devouring Galactus (unseen here). Director Tim Story injects a little more humor this time (and still delivers on the action scenes) but the over all story is not very good.

Andre Baugher is a cardboard army officer who decides it’s better to trust Doctor Doom than the FF. This means the film really takes a downward spiral as Julian McMahon returns to chew the scenery. Kerry Washington is back as Alicia Masters and Stan Lee has a cameo.

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Make Mine Marvel?

FANTASTIC FOUR-2005-The future super team (plus Victor Von Doom who is engaged to Sue Storm) goes into space and gets bombarded by cosmic rays. They begin to exhibit strange powers. Wow! This is kind of similar to a comic book Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created in the early ‘60’s!

Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd; Lancelot in KING ARTHUR) gets insulted a lot for being a detached egghead. Human Torch Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is a wise-ass moron who makes you wish he'd really go up in flames. (well at least there's no Herbie the robot) Sue Storm (miscast Jennifer Alba) mostly walks around naked (but she’s invisible of course). The future Doctor Doom (Julian McMahon) likes to whisper and chew the scenery. In this version he doesn’t wear a suit of armor. He becomes one instead! Only Michael Chiklis’ Ben Grimm (aka The Ever Lovin’ Blue Eyed Thing) captures any spirit of the original comic. He needed funnier lines though. The action scenes and SFX are well done though except maybe for Mr. Fantastic’s stretching power. Director Tim Story had previously made BARBERSHOP and TAXI.

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Protect Us From Crap!

GUARDIAN-(2000)-This one is really bad!

It starts during the Gulf War and has to do with a demon and a child "chosen by God" to stop him. Pink cocaine like power (called "Chaos") makes everyone who snorts it go crazy. Mario Van Peebles and James Remar are cops trying to figure it all out. If they can't how can the audience?? Rapper Ice-T shoots a woman in the head and gets beat up.

Director John Terlesky helmed other "classics" like CHOPPING MALL, CRAZY PEOPLE and VAMPIRELLA. 

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American Idle

IDLE HANDS-1999-A stupid teenager's hand (Devon Sawa) becomes possessed and kills people against his will. He kills his parents (Fred Williard and Connie Ray) and then his 2 best friends (but they come back to life and try and help him). A young Jennifer Alba is his next door neighbor. After many crazy battles with his own hand, he chops it off and it goes on it's own and kills people at a costume party. A woman (Vivica A. Fox) has a knife that can kill it. There's a lot of imaginative scenes and some gore but I would have liked it better if the leads in this horror comedy hadn't been pot smoking slacker idiots.

The director Rodman Flender also made LEPRECHAUN 2 and lots of TV episodes. According to IMDB he was once head of Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures.

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Do You Really Care About The Storyline?

BIKINI GIRLS FROM THE LOST PLANET-2006-This is just soft core sexual hi jinx with science fiction trappings from Fred Olen Ray (under the pseudonym Nicolas Medina). There are several lesbian scenes and the acting is pretty funny. Ted Newsom who directed EDWARD WOOD: LOOK BACK IN ANGORA is in it. Also with Nicole Sheridan, Christine Nguyen and Rebecca Love.

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More J Stuff

PRAY-2005-More J-horror this time set in an abandoned school where a guy and girl have kidnapped a little girl for ransom. They soon learn from the parents that the little girl has been dead for a year. Weird things start to happen involving the girl, violent death and betrayal. This film isn't that great but the ending is poignant and unexpected.

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Too Strange..

VITAL-2004-A man named Takagi (Tadanobu Asano) survives a car accident that kills his girlfriend. He gets amnesia but later joins a medical school dissection group. Somehow he winds up dissecting his girlfriend. A weird J-horror film that I didn't particularly care for. Director Shinya Tsukamoto also made TETSUO 1 & 2, SNAKE OF JULY and TOKYO FIST. Star Asano was also in ICHI THE KILLER and Beat Takeshi's ZATOICHI.

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