How Did I Stay Awake?

WHEN I'M OLD ENOUGH...GOODBYE!-1962-I saw this state sponsored short on TCM at 5 AM. It tells the story of a young man (Barry Primus in his film debut) who drops out of high school so he can get a job and "be free" like his old man. Things don't work out exactly as he plans when he is suddenly laid off.
This forgotten low budget quickie is actually quite prophetic in it's message to future generations but it figures because the producer Louis De Rochemont was also behind the well known "March of Time" newsreels of the '30's that warned of the rise of Hitler! Director Karl Genus did mostly TV.

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Karate kid? He's learning Kung-Fu!

THE KARATE KID-2010-A 12 year old boy (Jaden Smith, right after another remake THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) and his mom (Taraji P. Henson, later a regular on TV's PERSON OF INTEREST) move to China where he encounters language problems and very violent bullies who know Kung-Fu. He meets a cute local girl but gets beat up very badly by the martial arts bullies. He's saved by his apartment's handyman Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) who decides to teach him "real Kung-Fu". He trains a lot and absorbs the cultural and philosophical aspects of his new home and the art he is learning. Later he competes in a tournament where he has to fight most of his tormentors.

I won't tell you what happens but do you think if your Dad was the executive producer of a movie you were starring in would you lose the big fight in the climax? I found the first half of this movie very slow going. Also everyone might think Will's boy was a cute wise guy but I found him rather bratty and way to small to be taken seriously as a fighter no matter who trains him.

In the second half the story picks up (after Mr. Han's past demons are revealed) but the final battle is too over the top. Still Chan is very good in the serious role.

Director Harald Zwart had previously made ONE NIGHT AT MCCOOL'S, THE PINK PANTHER 2 and AGENT CODY BANKS.

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Rise of The Remake of The Panet Of...

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES-2011-Will Rodman (James Franco) a scientist working on a cure for Alzheimer's disease is using apes as his subjects. One chimpanzee seems to be the key to success but she goes crazy (during a meeting for funding) and is shot dead. However her baby Caesar has inherited intelligence from the drug and after the research is shut down Rodman takes him home as a pet for his Alzheimer's stricken father (John Lithgow). Rodman decides to use the formula he concocted on his dad. It works but only for a short time.

When Caesar (Andy Serkis doing the movements much as he did with Gollum in LORD OF THE RINGS) bites the finger off a bullying idiotic neighbor he's placed in a scientific facility with normal apes where he's mistreated by a sadistic guard. Later he talks and leads his fellow apes in a human attack.

I found the battle scenes kind of hilarious! Brian Cox is wasted as the head of the ape facility but it was nice to see David Hewett (from PIN and CUBE) in a major release. Freida Pinto (from SLUM DOG MILLIONAIRE) is Rodman's love interest.

Director Rupert Wyatt also made THE ESCAPIST. I thought they could have at least used one of the stars of the original until I realized (except for Linda Harrison who had a cameo in Tim Burton's version) they are all dead!

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Later,,,,

IN BRUGES-2008-This Tarantino inspired junk is about 2 hit men (Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson) who hide out in Bruges, Belgium waiting for instructions from their boss (Ralph Fiennes). What good can be said of a movie where Farrell (one of the most overrated actors in history) kills a priest and child, beats up a woman and is also the romantic lead in this stupid violent comedy-drama? Not much. It was the first full length film by stage director/playwright Martin McDonagh. Let's hope he sticks to what he knows best. 

Carpentry perhaps?

Thanks to my pal Tony for lending me this.

Eye of The West

AN EYE FOR AN EYE-1966-A former bounty hunter named Talion (Robert Lansing) wants revenge on an outlaw Ike Slant (Slim Pickens) who killed his wife and son. Along the way he meets young bounty hunter Benny Wallace (Patrick Wayne) who's also after Slant. In an early shootout with Slant Talion's gun hand is crippled and Wallace is blinded. Somehow they try to combine Wallace's sightless draw with Talions's gun-less sight. This is an ok low budget western with Pickens at his slimiest. Paul Fix is the local Sheriff and his daughter is played by Gloria Talbott (in her last role). Clint Howard is her son and Clint's old man Rance also has a small role. Strother Martin nearly steals the show as creepy Turnbull the fink.

AEFAE was directed by Michael Moore (Not the fat documentary film guy) who later made THE FASTEST GUITAR ALIVE with Roy Orbison. And it was co-written by actor Bing (father of Kurt) Russell. Lansing was in a TV series THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS at the time.

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There's No Reason...For This Movie

APOLLO 18-2011-The premise of this stupid film is that the Apollo space missions didn't end with number 17. There was one more secret moon landing. What follows is suppose to be footage "found" on the internet that purports to tell the real tale. 2 US astronauts land on the moon. While walking around they discover a Russian spacecraft. Later they find the corpse of a cosmonaut.

At first I thought this disaster might hold some promise but in turned into an ALIEN/BLAIR WITCH influenced conspiracy film. Moon rocks it seems are actual living entities. The tag line on the poster read "There's a reason we never went back to the moon" but in fact "we" did go back to the moon several times before the fictional number 18 did, so what the hell does that line mean?

I didn't know anything about the director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego (from Madrid) and after this I don't care.
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Wicked Stuff?

WICKED WICKED-1973-This typical slasher/stalker film was shot in "duo-vision" a split screen process showing two different scenes at one time.

Randolph Roberts (later Chuck Cunningham, Richie's older brother in TV's HAPPY DAYS) plays Jason, a handyman/custodian/electronics expert who also kills women (while wearing a scary mask) who come to stay at the hotel where he works. The split screens not only shows the goings on in the hotel but also provide flashbacks while certain characters talk about their lives.

Tiffany Bolling is a singer (and does the horrible theme song) who performs at the hotel and Jason 's next target. David Bailey (later a regular on the soap opera ANOTHER WORLD) is the house detective (and Bolling's character's ex-spouse) trying to figure it out and Scott Brady (who had a role in THE NIGHT STRANGLER the same year) is a no nonsense detective he butts heads with. Roger Bowen (Col. Blake in the movie version of MASH) is the pompous hotel manager. Madeleine Sherwood and Arthur O'Connell are also in it. Edd Brynes (formerly TV's Kookie on 77 SUNSET STRIP) is a red herring waiter who uses the phrase "honest bread" a few times. Meanwhile an old woman plays the organ as background music.

It's a little better than the usual serial killer stuff clogging up '70's cinema, uses some ironic comic touches and puts the split screen to good use. This was the last feature film directed by Richard L. Bare (who also wrote the screenplay), better known for his TV work on such comedies as GREEN ACRES. Lyrics to the insipid songs are by Irwin Levine who co-wrote "This Diamond Ring". Charles Pierce was the set decorator. Actor Bailey later died in an accidental drowning.

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Hotel In Thailand

THE HOTEL!!-2002-Cool ghost story from Thailand. After the death of their mother a brother and sister return to an old hotel their father runs hoping to re-model it. Several deaths occur and it seems their father is to blame but when the police try to arrest him he resists and dies in a shoot out. Other deaths follow and soon it appears a vengeful ghost is out to destroy them. Some good visual effects highlight the serious story although there is one stand out comic scene involving a witch doctor who comes to exorcise the ghost (at least I think it was suppose to be intentionally funny!). It was written and directed by Anukul Jarotok.

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PS-Sorry I couldn't find a shot of a poster. I couldn't do a good search though. I have to go out!

Oscar Wilde Should Sue Them!

PACT WITH THE DEVIL-2001-This is a not very interesting take-off on “The Picture of Dorian Gray” with Malcolm McDowell as a devil like manager who promotes a would be photographer (Ethan Erickson) to the top male model. Cleverly re-named Dorian he has a picture that ages while he doesn’t. Eventually he becomes depraved, uses drugs and kills some people. McDowell (who saves the whole thing) narrates the story told in flashback. Director Allan A. Goldstein also made DEATH WISH V.
T
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Mad Monk!

RASPUTIN: THE MAD MONK-1966-Christopher Lee plays the title role in this very entertaining but historically inaccurate Hammer production.

The drunken and gluttonous Rasputin is first introduced at an inn where he saves the life of the owner's young son. They then throw a party where he does a wild dance, seduces the owner's daughter and cuts off the hand of an older son. Later he wins a drinking contest and takes up with a drunken disbarred doctor (Robert Duncan). Barbara Shelley is Sonia, the Czarina's lady in waiting who comes under the mad monk's thrall and causes an "accident" that gets him in good with the ruling class. When he grows tired of Sonia he makes her commit suicide and sets his sights on Vanessa (Suzan Farmer) another lady. Sonia's brother tries to take revenge but is killed with acid. Eventually the doctor and Vanessa's boyfriend (Richard Pasco, also in THE GORGON) do away with him in a nice finale. Also with Joss Ackland and Michael Ripper.

Lee is great as the crazy but self assured Rasputin with his long hair and beard and piercing eyes. He and Shelley had just been in DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS the year before and some of the sets were re-used here. Director Don Sharp made several movies with Lee including 2 in the Fu Manchu series, DEVIL SHIP PIRATES and BEAR ISLAND.

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Jet For The Defense!

BORN TO DEFENSE-1986-Star/director Jet Li plays a Chinese soldier turned rickshaw driver at the end of WW2. It’s kind of a throw back to the Shaw Bros. of the ’70’s with dumb dubbed dialogue and Li’s persistent fights with snotty abusive foreigners (mostly American sailors). A battle between Jet and a much bigger “no good Yankee” eventually turns into something resembling a hardcore wrestling match. When the evil racist Americans kill his best friend and would be girlfriend he’s arrested and beaten up by the police. He vows revenge and gets it.

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The Restless

THE RESTLESS-2006-In this South Korean action fantasy a bounty hunter Yi Gwak (Woo-sung Jong) is betrayed by the townsfolk who hired him because he is a wanted man and they need the reward money. They drug him and he seems to die. He winds up in "mid-heaven" a place where souls wait to be reborn. However for some reason he is not dead and he's just in time to help battle invading demons. He meets So-hwa (Tae-hee Kim)) leader of the White Reapers who also happens to be this deceased lover (flashbacks show she was burned as a witch). Ban-chu (Jun-ho Heo) is a bad guy who wants "the holy stone" So-hwa has in her possession.

There's some great action scenes with swordplay and characters bursting into flames when they are killed and the crazy out of control finale where Yi takes on a whole evil army by himself is cool but this is essentially a love story so be prepared for some slow parts.

Star Woo was in THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE WEIRD after this. It was the directorial debut of Dong-oh Cho and Dong-oh Jo, a brother team who had previously been assistant directors.

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Happy New Year!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN-1930-This was the first sound film made by the legendary DW Griffith but for years inferior copies missing some scenes had been the only ones in circulation. A few years ago Kino put out a version with the missing scenes restored but the soundtrack for these parts seems to be lost and are shown with subtitles.

Walter Huston plays Honest Abe. The prologue shows a horrifying slave ship (though the African slaves seem mostly to be made up white actors) where some slaves are thrown overboard. The episodic biography begins with his log cabin birth, rail splitting, courting of Ann Rutledge (Una Merkel) and his subsequent pining after her death, meeting and marrying Mary Todd (Kay Hammond), his debates with Stephen Douglas and his election to the presidency and of course The Civil War. It all happens at a fairly brisk clip with each period dealt with just a couple of scenes (although the War is more detailed). It ends with his assassination by fanatical John Wilkes Booth (Ian Keith). Jason Robards Sr. plays his friend Billy.

Like many early "talkies" however it suffers from a mediocre script, stilted acting and stage play like direction. In an earlier scene Huston is wearing a ridiculous amount of make-up but his performance when Lincoln becomes president is heartfelt. Stephan Vincent Benet is credited with the adaptation. Griffith made only one more film after this.

Thanks again to my pal Tony for finding this and thanks for reading!