Joan Runs A Circus

 

BERSERK!-1967-Something's up at the circus owned by Monica Rivers (Joan Crawford). A trapeze artist is hanged during his act. Monica seems fairly cold blooded and sees the accident/murder as a box office boost. Her business partner/boy toy Dorado (Michael Gough) wants her to buy out his share. She hires Frank Hawkins (Ty Hardin) as a new tight wire artist. He wants to have an affair with her but she rejects him (it's a switcheroo!). Then Dorado gets a spike through his head. 

The circus people (including Diana Dors & Milton Reid) get together and some of them accuse Monica. A police commissioner (Geoffrey Kean) sends Det. Brooks (Robert Hardy) to investigate. Matilda (Diana Dors) unsuccessfully tries to put the moves on Jack. Little person Bruno (George Claydon) hangs around. Later Monica's troublesome daughter Angela (Judy Geeson) shows up after being kicked out of finishing school. Then Gustavo (Peter Burton) really saws Matilda in half. Angela becomes part of a knife throwing act. When Frank is killed the murderer is revealed and electrocuted. 

This not half bad little murder mystery horror film was co-produced (and shot) in jolly old England by Herman Cohen who in the 1950's had produced several films for AIP including I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN, I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF and BLOOD OF DRACULA. Prior to that he was associate producer of BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA and producer on Abbott & Costello's last feature DANCE WITH ME,HENRY. He later worked with Crawford again on TROG. One story goes that Cohen wanted to cast Joan's real life daughter Christina Crawford in the role that eventually went to Judy Geeson but Mommie Dearest 86'd it. 

Co-producer and co-writer (with Cohen) Aben Kanel had worked with Cohen at AIP and on Cohen's previous England lensed features (KONGA, HORRORS OF THE WAX MUSCEUM and THE BLACK ZOO). Director Jim O'Connolly later made THE VALLEY OF THE GWANGI and THE TOWER OF EVIL.

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The Devil You Know...

 

SANANTIS: THE DEVIL'S MASS-1970-This is a documentary about Anton LeVay and his "Church of Satan". He's a slick snake oil salesman like any other phony religious leader. He talks a lot of mumbo jumbo when his whole point seems to be total sexual freedom. Satan's just a bystander. In interviews his "followers" seem high. Other people voice their opposition. The Satanic rituals shown (including nudity, boa constrictor and a whipping) seem staged for the camera. Although interviews with neighbors and priests try to make it seem like they are stupid, it's plain everyone can see through him. It ends with his wife saying "I understand he was tremendously busy during Halloween". It's the only movie director Ray Laurent who once worked with Ray Dennis Steckler, made.

                                           Some of LeVay's books...

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Nimoy

 

BAFFLED!-1973-American race car driver Tom Kovack (Leonard Nimoy) has strange visions of Wyndam Castle in Devon and a woman and child in danger. An English woman Michelle Brent (Susan Hampshire) tells him he has a special power. Meanwhile actress Andrea Glenn (Vera Miles) and her daughter Jen (Jewell Blanch) move into the castle Kovack saw in his vision (they were also there). Mrs. Farraday (Rachel Roberts) sees to their needs. After Kovac has another vision where he falls out a window, he goes with Michelle to stay at the castle (which takes guests). It seems someone is hiding out in the castle grounds and only Jen knows it.

 Jen gets a medallion with a wolf on it that seems to possess her but it all has to do with an old woman who wants to use Jen's psychic powers (but not really). 

Nimoy is good in the lead role with some nice touches of humor but the story isn't much. It was a pilot for a proposed TV series directed by Phillip Leacock who was doing a lot of American TV episodes at the time.

Happy Memorial Day! Love long and Prosper!

Francostein Monster

 

THE (EROTIC) RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN-1973-Just as Dr. Frankenstein (Dennis Price) and assistant Morpho (your director Jess Franco) have resurrected the monster, Cagliostro (Howard Vernon) and Melisa (Anna Libert), his vampire bird-girl kill them and take the monster. Before he dies Frankenstein asks Dr. Seward (Alberto Dalbes) to save the monster ("my legacy"). 

At the doc's funeral Seward meets Vera Frankenstein (Beatriz Savon) who at night steals her dad's corpse with the help of her nurse. She brings dad back to life for a few minutes and he tells her to get his monster back. She vows revenge against Cagliostro. Later Melisa has the monster kidnap a woman and in a bizarre ceremony the woman's head is severed from her body while Cagliostro and un-dead ghouls look on. When the monster kidnaps an artist's model, it meets Vera who convinces him to take her instead of the model. Held prisoner, Vera beats a henchman in a cruel game where the henchman winds up impaled. Cagliostro hypnotizes Vera so she will obey him. He wants to build a mate for the monster and start a new race. Meanwhile Steward and a police inspector investigate. 

Poor dead Dr. Frankenstein is found and brought to life once more by Steward but the doc attacks Steward until the inspector throws acid on him. Then using "magnetic rays and an incisor machine", Vera helps make the perfect mate. Melisa goes into a blood frenzy on a hapless victim. Before the monster can consummate with "his bride" Steward convinces him/it to turn against Cagliostro and his minions. He kills Melisa and tries to do in Vera but the inspector shoots him. Laughing madly Cagliostro escapes and Vera warns he'll return….

Mindless but entertaining Spanish-France horror mess from Franco who also made a "hotter" version  with more nudity (not an uncommon move for for the director). Franco (1920-2013)  made upwards of 10 movies in 1973!

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Forgotten New Age Stuff

 

THE PYRAMID-1976-A news reporter Chris Lowe (CW Brown) is fired from his job by his boss who doesn't like his "visual masturbation". He goes on a personal journey to record things he thinks matter. He doesn't have much success but his therapist girlfriend and pyramid power help him see a happy future (it was wrong though ..). 

Filmed in Texas, this new age low budget arty story was directed by Gary Kent who acted in movies by Al Adamson, TV Mikels and Ray Dennis Steckler. He also did technical behind the scenes work for many B movies.Years later Kent and the cast and crew reunited for a short called THE PYRAMID: LOST & FOUND.

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Henry's Last Ride

 

FULL METAL NINJA-1989-After some clad in black ninjas threaten a guy dressed in yellow, they fight a guy dressed in pink who gives them a message for their boss "The judge is here". He shoots one of them and lets the other go. 

Then a village is pillaged and most of the people killed. Then a guy named Eagle (Renato Sala) jumps out of the water and cuts down a tree with his sword. The guy in pink is Leon (Pierre Kirby) who's seeking revenge against Boris, an evil guy who killed Leon's family. Eagle has a lot of fights (including vs. a dude who breathes fire). He's looking for general Lo. He meets Jade and after beating a big guy in a contest gives her the prize money. He stays the night with her and her father. Meanwhile Leon the pink fights some multicolored ninjas sent by Boris. Leon shoots one of the attackers but runs out of bullets and let's the other one live. Meanwhile, while preparing to leave Jade's home, Eagle is attacked by a Ninja with a bow and arrow that turns out to be Jade's father. Eagle wounds him but after confessing to his daughter, he kills himself. Eagle leaves her crying over dad's corpse. 

After Jade tries to unsuccessfully kill Eagle, a monk tells Leon he is good and Boris is evil. He should seek Eagle's help. Eagle is captured by Lo after being drugged by a giggling woman, He escapes and is almost killed again but some monks save him. At their monastery he meets Leon. Well sort of... 

If you haven't guessed by now this is two movies pasted together. The main movie is a 1984 Korean feature WARRIOR. Geoffrey Ho (hiding under the name Charles Lee) created this paste up job with his usual incompetency. This was star Pierre Kirby's last movie outing. He seemed to disappear with several stories surrounding his demise.

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Sorority Kill

 

HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW-1982-Some stupid college frat women want to hold a party in their frat house but their weird house mother Mrs. Slater (Lois Kelso Hunt) won't allow it. When a prank they play on her winds up killing her, they dump her body in the dirty pool and have the party. Someone starts killing them (although the first victim is a Weird Al Yankovic clone). A strange doctor, an hallucinogenic drug and Slater's thought to be dead son are the culprits as well as the doctor's fertility experiments. 

This horror story uses unusual colors and hallucinations to try and break out of the typical for the time slasher mode. The director Mark Rosman must have done something right as it did fairly well when first released and has gain a cult following. Couldn't shake off the familiar '80's slasher ending though...

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Immortal Nonsensse

 

THE IMMORTALIZER-1989-Mad scientist Dr. Devine (Ron Ray) is doing experiments making old people young. Nurse Blaine (Melody Patterson; Wrangler Jane from TV's “F-Troop”) and two other doctors assist him. They are all a bunch of jerks. They have two idiots and some failed experiments helping them. Greg (Chris Crone), a guy who's friends are held in the lab, tries to rescue them with the help of a neighbor, Agnus. There's a basement with some monsters in it and some very bloody (and phony looking) brain operations. The director Joel Bender also made THE RETURNING and GAS PUMP GIRLS.

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Made For TV Dino

 

GARGANTUA-1998-A dinosaur terrorizes an island where 2 marine biologists Jack (Adam Baldwin) and Ralph (Peter Adams) try to stop it. US troops come but they seem incompetent. A local doctor (Julie Carmen) helps them. A stupid Australian guy wants the dinosaur alive and threatens Jack's son Brandon (Emile Hirsch). The badly made monster also has a baby in this cheesy made for TV Fox movie shot in Australia by director Brandon May who later made a TV movie about Madonna and two “Darkman” sequels.

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Redneck Waste of Time

 

THE DEVIL AND LEROY BASSETT-1973-The Basset Brothers: Leroy (John F. Goff), Wilbert (George “Buck” Flower) and Melvin (James Ward) are idiots who'd make The 3 Stooges look like college professors. They plan to help an American Indian cop Keema Greywolf (Cody Bearpaw) escape from police custody. After arguing, complaining and drinking beer, Leroy, a religious nut, dresses as a cop and they free him. This redneck trailer trash nonsense is full of stupid hick characters, terrible acting and direction and a story line that gives all the sympathy to a cold bloodied killer (and his remorseless insane helpers) who brought everything on himself while a funky soundtrack plays. When helpless Keema is killed at the end you can only think "What a relief". 

Real screwed up movie making from director Robert E. Pearson who later played the grouchy theater owner (under a different name) in DRIVE IN MASSACRE which Buck Flower wrote and John Goff starred in.

 In 1977 Pearson made a movie called CLAWS about a killer grizzly bear that had real actors in it. Star Cody Bearpaw (from Canada) was in stuntman in some other movies around this time.

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Something's Fishy

 

ISLAND OF THE FISHMEN-1979-Survivors of a shipwrecked prison ship including a Lt./doctor Ross (Claudio Cassinelli; in MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD the same year) and some prisoners have their lifeboat attacked by a sea monster. The survivors of that attack wind up on an island where they find a voodoo altar and one of them declares the island is inhabited by zombies. When a snake threatens them it's shot by a mysterious woman on horseback. She warns them to leave as the owner of the island, Edmund Rackham doesn't want visitors. The group also seems to be followed by a strange frog-like creature. They meet the smug, pompous Rackham (Richard Johnson; in ZOMBIE the same year)  who offers them shelter. Rackham and his wife Amanda (Barbara Bach; THE SPY WHO LOVED ME) obviously have some marital problems. He invites Ross to dinner and while they discuss various things an old man spies on them. Later Rackham watches his smirking head servant Shakira (Beryl Cunningham) perform a voodoo ceremony and then sees her bonding with the frog monster. After one of the cons is killed attacking a woman Ross has his own encounter with Froggy but is saved when Amanda orders it to stop. Ross discovers that a famous biologist Prof. Marvin (Joseph Cotton; in GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED the same year) is in the house too and very sick. He's also Amanda's father. Rackham seems desperate to have Ross keep him alive. Finally Rackham reveals some secrets to Ross. Under the island is the last remnants of Atlantis now occupied by the fish men. There's a huge treasure there but it's too deep. Rackham needs the fish men's help to get it. Prof. Marvin invented a potion that allows him to communicate with the creatures. Amanda can too. But Marvin is actually a mad scientist drummed out of the medical profession for his experiments on humans. Turns out the amphibian inhabitants are actually humans mutated by him. 

This movie isn't great with too many long stretches of nothing happening and some very dark scenes. A lot does happen in the last half hour though as a volcano erupts, Ross almost drowns but is saved by the dying Shakira who Rackham shot when she attempted to kill his wife, Ross and Rackham have two fights, the last resulting in Rackham's bloody death at the claws of the fish men who save Amanda from drowning. She and Ross survive.

Sergio Martino directed this Italian production that played in US theaters under the titles SOMETHING IN THE DARK and SCREAMERS. Both feature a new gory opening sequence featuring Cameron Mitchell & Mel Ferrer. 

The same year he made FISHMEN Martino also made THE GREAT ALLIGATOR which featured Bach, Cassinelli and Johnson. In 1995 he made a sequel for Italian TV "The Queen of the Fishmen". 

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"I've made a lot of junk". ..Joseph Cotten

Get The Raid!

 

MOSQUITO MAN-2005-A death row convict reeks havoc at a research lab that was scheduled to use him in an experiment involving our pesky pals, mosquitoes. Trying to escape he's exposed to their experiment and mutates into "manquisto", a giant mosquito. He/it kind of goes after a reporter (Corin Nemec) and his girlfriend (Musetta Vander) who looks like a Vulcan sometimes.Later the girlfriend begins to turn into a "womanquito' and kills the monster and herself.  

This was one of the first horror films made by the SyFy channel when they got tired of showing other filmmakers' junk and decided to show their own. Director Tibor Takacs had made THE GATE and I, MADMAN in better times.

Made Fot TV Horror

 

THE WORLD BEYOND-1978-After a near death experience sports writer Paul Taylor (Granville Van Dusen) gets communications "from the beyond" telling him to help certain people. 

Here he goes to an isolated Canadian island to help a guy named Frank Faber. Andy (“special guest star” Barnard Hughes), owner of the boat that takes him to the island introduces him to his other passenger, Mary Faber (JoBeth Williams), the guy's sister. When they get to the island a dog attacks Paul. At the house Faber is missing. Then something wrecks their boat and kills the dog. A loud noise is heard. They realize there is something on the island and it may have to do with Frank practicing "the occult arts". While going to a neighboring house to borrow a boat they find Frank's severed head! After finding the neighbor dead and his boat wrecked Taylor deduces that Faber created a "golem" out of mud. "That's insane. There's no such thing!". After it kills Andy the mud monster attacks Paul and Mary. They cut off one of its hands and it terrorizes Mary. While fighting the severed hand in the basement Paul discovers how to destroy the monster.

 I guess this second pilot for unsold series (by TV director Noel Black) isn't bad for a TV show despite too many monster POV shots. It was created and written by Art Wallace who created “Dark Shadows” earlier. The first pilot was made in 1977 and  called "World of Darkness", also starring Van Dusen.

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US Actors in South American

 

KILLER FISH-1979-In this Italian production filmed in Buenos Aires with North American actors jewel thieves headed by Lasky (Lee Majors) and Kate (Karen Black) steal some valuable gems and wreck most of the facility getting them. They hide the loot underwater in a reservoir. The mastermind behind the heist Diller (James Franciscus) fills the reservoir with piranha. 

Meanwhile Lasky pursues model Gabrielle (Margaux Heminway), while her fat photographer (Roy Brocksmith),manager (Marisa Berensen) and pilot (Gary Collins) hang around. After some of the robbers are killed trying to retrieve the cache, Kate scuba dives for it and she and Diller get the booty. When they get caught in a rainstorm they are picked up by a yacht owned by the model and her entourage. 

The storm washes the piranha into the nearby lake. Diller betrays them all and it's Longstreet vs. The Six Million Dollar Man in the finale battle of the US TV stars in this drawn out little drama directed by Anthony Dawson (aka Antonio Margheriti) (CASTLE OF BLOOD). 

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Nutsy Nazi Nonsense

 

NAZI UNDEAD-2018-Ashley (Georgia Chara) and Brad (Leigh Scully), a college couple from Australia with relationship problems have car trouble on the way to a castle. After finding a dead girl they wind up trapped in an old house with what seems to be the dead body of a Nazi officer. The place seems to be haunted. After having a nightmare Brad disappears. Ashley wanders around looking for him while seeing visions. Later she finds Brad who's been tortured, his body twisted. He wants her to put him out if his misery and kill him which she does. Then she cries and vomits. She leaves the house.

At the 32 minute mark it seemed it was over but after wandering around Ashley finds herself back at the house, locked in. Some ghoul children ghosts say "Shhh" when she screams. She watches a film of the Nazi (Andy McPhee) killing his wife and kids because they are "unpure". He then cuts out their eyes and kills himself. The Nazi shows up and examines her teeth. She faints and wakes up with her mouth sewed shut. She runs away and into a car, who's occupants are Ashley and Brad and the movie begins to repeat! Except this time Brad dies from having a swastika carved in his back. The Nazi shows up and examines Ashley. She faints and wakes up, once again with her mouth sewn shut. She runs into her car again and the movie repeats itself again only this time Ash looks at the body and sees it's her. It seems a crazy un-dead nanny is to blame. 

This derivative art school trash was directed by Steven Spiel and is also known as LIVING SPACE.

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It Started Here

 

TEENAGERS BATTLE THE THING-1958-A high school teacher Roger Mason (Dave Flocker who directed) and his friend anthropologist Bill Wyman take 5 teenagers to an Indian burial ground in Ivanpah to dig for artifacts. After digging for a while and eating lunch they discover a cave with a mummy inside. Somehow they get it out and take it to the house they are using. After 2 of the guys talk about a bottle of pop the mummy monster comes to life! It kills a local woman and the next day the sheriff shows up. They search part of an orange grove and discover traces of the monster. Roger has a plan to lure the mummy monster out in the open. Using bales of hay, meat scraps and gasoline, the adults and kids burn the monster mummy to death. The End. 

This less than an hour little low budget regional horror film later became the basis for THE CURSE OF BIGFOOT in 1974, in color with a new introduction featuring Flocker in the Mason role. His brother James T. Flocker wrote it and later on made some very low budger movies of his own like GHOSTS THAT STILL WALK and ALIEN ENCOUNTERS.

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Mean Johnny

 

MEAN JOHNNY BARROWS-1975-Johnny Barrows (Fred Williamson) is dishonorably discharged from the army for hitting an officer. He arrives in LA and is mugged and beaten. Some racist cops arrest him thinking he's a drunk. A Sargent recognizes him as a college football player and war hero. After turning down a job offer from obvious gangster Mario Racconi (Stuart Whitman), he combs the city for a job but to no avail and sleeps in a doorway. Then he meets the Professor (Elliot Gould) and gets a job cleaning up in a gas station for the racist owner Richard (RG Armstrong). At a pow-wow mob boss Da Vince (Anthony Caruso) has his sons (Roddy McDowell and Mike Henry) kill Mario and his dad (Luther Adler) but Mario survives. When Richard cheats Johnny out of his pay Johnny tries to get it by force and is beaten up by white cops again and arrested. He gets out and Mario hires him to kill the Da Vince family. He kills both sons then has a terrible fight with an assassin who looks like Tiny Tim. Unfortunately Tony Da Vince and Mario's girlfriend Nancy (Jenny Sherman) were conspiring against both families so when Johnny tries to put the moves on her she shoots him but Johnny rigged a mine that she steps on and is blown up. 

This drawn out low budget crime drama is terrible with director/star Williamson  sleepwalking through most of the film and hardly involved in the mob family war till the last half hour.

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Hammer Again

 

STOP ME BEFORE I KILL!-1960-Race driver Alan Colby (Ronald Lewis) has trouble adjusting after a car crash. He's very argumentative and paranoid and has the feeling he wants to kill his wife Denise (Diane Cilento). She convinces him to go see a French doctor Prade (Claude Daupin) who he doesn't like (he punched him at a dinner party!). The doc tries to help him and seems to succeed but then Denise disappears. Has he killed her? 

Interesting if a little drawn out psychological English drama from Hammer Pictures directed by Val Guest (THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN).

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the Asylum Again

 

THE BEAST OF BRAY ROAD-2005-The Asylum Strikes again! In this useless waste of time horror flick a monster terrorizes a hick town where the only character that's not a moronic inbred redneck is the local sheriff transferred from Chicago. "The beast" turns out to be a werewolf and most everyone is killed. Director Leigh Scott later made HILLSIDE CANNIBALS.

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Japan

 

PITFALL-1962-After running away from a mining camp a guy (Hisashi Igawa) and his young son and his friend hideout digging coal for an old man. A man dressed in white with a pith helmet seems to be following and photographing them. After deserting that job they take another hauling dirt. He's told about a job in another village but when he and his son go there they find it deserted save for one woman shopkeeper. When he finally encounters the man in white he's attacked and stabbed. He dies but his spirit wanders the village where other spirits reside. Later he follows the police investigation and finds the mysterious things happening have an explanation. After the shopkeeper is raped the man in white kills her. The backdrop is two mines, the old pit and the new one. 

Director Hiroshi Teshigahara presents what appears to be an allegory on the protests of conditions for miners. A big issue at the time in Japan. It's both sad and thought provoking. 

Based on a novel by Kobo Abe who also wrote the screenplay, he and Teshigahara would team for four more films including FACE OF ANOTHER.

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