Monster Rule Ok!

 

 (imdb)

THE MONSTER CLUB-1981-Aramis (Vincent Price), a vampire bites R. Chetwynd Hayes (John Carradine), the horror writer. Aramis then takes the writer to “The Monster Club” so he can get some ideas and The Viewers do “Monsters Rule OK”. After Aramis explains the genealogy of vampires and werewolves we get our first story in this anthology. A con artist couple have a scheme to swindle a lonely unusual looking guy Raven (James Laurenson) when the girl Angela (Barbara Kellerman) helps him catalog his collections. He creeps her out but she also feels sorry for him. Her boyfriend George (Simon Ward) wants to make a big score and when the guy proposes George wants her to marry him. Raven says he is a “shadmock” and can never whistle. He throws a costume party with his relatives. Angela is caught robbing his safe and he whistles turning her into a monstrosity much to the surprise of George when she visits him. 

BA Robertson performs. Then, vampire/film producer Limton Busotsky (Anthony Steel) shows a scene from his upcoming movie. This is the second story, a young, bullied boy wonders about the night work his father (Richard Johnson) does. His mother (Britt Ekland) says he was a nobleman in Europe. A priest (Donald Pleasence) urges the boy to discover why dad sleeps all day. The boy discovers dad is a vampire and the priest is a vampire hunter. The vampire turns the tables on his hunters in the comical finale. 

Then the band Night performs “Stripper”. The 3rd story is about a “Humgoo”. A grouchy American director (Stuart Whitman) goes to scout a shooting sight in a remote village. An old man (Patrick Magee) tells him the village is run by The Elders. The decrepit townspeople force him to stay. He meets a young girl Luna (Lesley Dunlop) who informs him that the whole village is made up of ghouls. From a diary he learns how some evil ghouls took over the village. The only place they won't go is a church, so he hides out there with Luna, who is half human. They escape but Luna is killed. He's picked up by some ghoul policemen and taken back for “the great eating”. In the end, Aramis makes a great case for allowing a “hume” in the club. Everyone dances to The Pretty Things doing the title song. 

This was the last film produced by Milton Subotsky, who in the 1970's, along with his partner Max J. Rosenberg produced many horror films under the Amicus banner. This was an independent production, however. 

The stories are based on ones written by real horror & ghost story writer R. Chetwynd Hayes who didn't like the movie or Carradine's portrayal of him (he thought the actor too old). The filmmakers had wanted Sir Christopher Lee but he turned it down. It's also the last film directed by the great Roy Ward Baker. Most folks seem to run this movie down and admittedly it's no classic, it's just a fun combo of horror, comedy and music.

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Vampire Hookers

 

 

 (rotten tomatoes)

BEVERLY HILLS VAMP-1989-In this dumb vampire comedy, 3 would be filmmakers (Eddie Deezen, Tim Conway Jr. & another guy) become involved with a vampire madam (Britt Ekland) and her hooker vampires (Michelle Bauer, Julian Kesner, Debra Lamb). Jay Richardson is a movie producer and Robert Quarry has a small role as a priest who mentions Count Yorga! 

This is a typical Fred Olen Ray comedy runs hot and cold. I liked HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS (made the year before) a lot better...

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Moon in Scorpio...How Did it Get There?

 

MOON IN SCORPIO-1987-This begins with a woman in a straitjacket saying “Moon in Scorpio. What does it mean?”. After the credits a patient escapes from a mental hospital killing two people. Then the police investigate a boat drifting at sea. They find a woman who stabs a cop. Later she's interviewed by the head of the hospital (Robert Quarry) and she talks about ghouls, assassins and a death ship. Flashback to Vietnam: Mark (Lewis Van Bergen), Burt (William Smith) and Allen (John Phillip Law) kill some villagers. Later Allen marries Linda (Britt Ekland). Burt invites Allen and Linda and her friends on his boat. Allen agrees though it's clear he's traumatized and doesn't like water. Besides Burt and his alcoholic wife Claire (Julian Kesner; FIRECRACKER) their mutual friends Mark and his weird girlfriend Isabelle (April Wayne) go along. This flashback is interrupted by an idiotic police officer talking about the escaped patient (the actor is terrible). Back in the past: Before the group leaves an unseen killer does in a fisher-man. Despite all being buddies no one seems to get a long. Also it's apparent the killer is on board using a crossbow. One by one everybody is killed. The killer turns out to be Isabelle the escaped patient. She goes insane. You might too.......

Director Gary Graver was a cinematographer on over two hundred projects including work with Orson Welles and Al Adamson and a lot of porn (some which he directed under a pseudonym). This crazy murder mystery is a miserable paste up job. 

Nominal male lead Van Bergen was in the star of the short lived TV show "Sable". 

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