Awful Spring

OFFSPRING-2009-This one is about the cannibalistic offspring of some lighthouse operator that terrorize a town in Northern Maine (but it was filmed in Michigan). Canadian actor Art Hindle plays a alcoholic ex-police officer who heads a local force to hunt down the killers (they also speak their own language) who like to steal babies. It's very nasty, not very well made and the cannibals are unintentionally funny sometimes. It was kind of like THE HILLS HAVE EYES hits the suburbs and features gore and nudity. It's based on a novel by Jack Ketchum (he also wrote the screenplay) who's other novels RED and THE GIRL NEXT DOOR were made into films. Director Andrew van den Houten also made a movie called HEADSPACE.

Bean There, Done That...

HILLSIDE CANNIBALS-2006-A group (family) of cannibals terrorize some teens in the California desert in this low budget gory idiocy. They mostly use torture, eat the flesh and drink the blood of their victims but they also grunt and groan and fight amongst themselves a lot. Somehow another guy who's daughter was killed by the tribe has tracked them down and wants revenge but he gets killed the first time he attacks them! This is suppose to have been inspired by the (possibly fictional) legend of Sawney Bean, a Scottish madman who terrorized his native land with a his own family of cannibals but the real influence is THE HILLS HAVE EYES (which may have be influenced itself by the Bean legend). The director Leigh Scott plays the head of the clan.

I just read the DVD box also makes reference to THHE and the Bean legend!

Thanks for reading!

Chuck vs. Rodney

THE PROJECTIONIST-1971-This unusual feature has once popular NYC children's host Chuck McCann as a movie loving projectionist who works in a theater run by a pompous and demanding manager (Rodney Dangerfield in his movie debut). When not working he wanders the city, plays pool and dreams he's a celebrity. Sometimes he imagines he's a superhero called "Captain Flash". These are Flash Gordon inspired sequences but are more like a take on silent films and comic books (Dangerfield also appears as the villain "The Bat") as the characters never talk. Word balloons are used instead. These parts are clever but a little silly now (maybe not so much in the early '70's). Ina Balin plays the girl of his dreams.

The biggest surprise in this unique low budget wonder is the use of so many mainstream Hollywood movies (especially CASABLANCA, FLASH GORDON and CITIZEN KANE). There's also a strange commercial on TV for The Christian-Judeo Good Guy Kit.

THE PROJECTIONIST was made by Harry Hurwitz (he also appears as an usher) who later made AUDITIONS, FAIRY TALES, NOCTURNA, SAFARI 3000 and others. He died in 1995 at the age of 57.

Thanks for reading!

Busy Weekend-Quick Review

TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL-1981-John Woo made this good vs. evil horror-comedy with part of the story-line borrowed from BEDAZZLED a year before PLAN JANE TO THE RESCUE.

Ricky Hui (also in PLAN JANE) is Bruce, a pop singer/songwriter who makes a deal with the Devil's henchman (Stanley Tong) to become a star. Needless to say nothing turns out right and a priest (Paul Chun) tries to help him out. There's a lot of whacky comedy and well choreographed fights.

Thanks for reading!

Sleaze with Stars

 


POOR PRETTY EDDIE-1975-Leslie Uggams plays singer Liz Weatherly (apparently known for singing the Star Spangled Banner on TV). When her car breaks down in the back woods somewhere she runs into some demented hillbillies at restaurant/motel. It’s run by floozy digusto drunk Bertha (Shelly Winters) and her Elvis impersonating psycho lover Eddie (Michael Christian). Unfortunately, Bertha gets jealous when Eddie decides to hold Liz prisoner. Ted Cassidy (former TV 's Lurch) is the hired hand who they both order around. Slim Pickens plays a perverted redneck sheriff with an idiot assistant. It’s a pretty sleazy and bizarre film with the low light being the sicko scene of Eddie raping Liz inter-cut with a scenes of Cassidy and some other rednecks watching two dogs humping (while a country love song plays)! After some weird goings on Eddie wants to marry Liz. Dub Taylor plays the Justice of the Peace. Cassidy seems to die twice but manages to break up the wedding ceremony where Liz get her revenge (while "Amazing Grace" is heard).

Director Richard Robinson made other unusual movies like ADULTERY FOR FUN AND PROFIT and IS THERE SEX AFTER MARRIAGE?. Cinematographer David Worth may have been a co-director.

I really wonder about some of the casting in this movie. Pickens, Cassidy and Taylor would have done anything, but two years later Uggams played a major role the hot mini-series ROOTS. Was her singing career so non-existent that she had to do this? Winters was an Oscar winning actress. WTF??

Thanks for reading!

Before Craven's Nightmare

SWAMP THING-1982-This adaptation of the DC comics character takes place in “the unexplored reaches of an un-mapped swamp”. Adrienne Barbeau (who was in a segment of George Romero’s CREEPSHOW the same year) is Cable some kind of government liaison assigned to the secret lab of Dr. Alec Holland (Ray Wise) who’s experiments involve recombinant DNA and making plants more aggressive. Unfortunately a thought to be deceased evil genius Arcane (over acting Louis Jordan) is alive and takes over the compound. Holland is accidentally doused with is own rejuvenation formula and goes up in flames. He’s reborn however as a big green galoot (Dick Durock) who’s very strong, impervious to bullets and can bring people back to life! Cable escapes into the swamp and gets help from a young black kid named Jude (Reggie Batts).

While it’s certainly no classic SWAMP THING is ok especially for a comic book adaptation. Most of the SFX are pretty cheesy. The monster Arcane turns into at the end for the final battle is horrible and many of the scenes seem all to deliberately to be spotlighting Barbeau’s breasts but it is cool to see Nicolas Worth and David Hess (as Arcane’s lead henchmen) have decent speaking roles!

Writer/director Wes Craven was still 2 years away from NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and he still had his roots planted in low budget exploitation.

Thanks for reading!

Curse from Canada

CATHY’S CURSE-1977-This French Canadian EXORCIST inspired possession story is pretty bizarre. A young girl named Cathy (Randi Allen) is possessed by the spirit of a dead girl through a left behind doll. The girl was killed in a car accident after her mother left her and her father and took their son with her. Years later the now grown up son and family come to live at the family house. Cathy is possessed by a glowing eyed portrait of the dead girl who makes Cathy curse a lot, talk in a weird voice and generally just act creepy. She drives her mom is crazy (although she was acting weird anyway…). The father (Alan Scarfe, who reminded me of Quenton Tarentino!) is oblivious to the weird happenings and a caretaker (Roy Witham, who reminded me of Mick Fleetwood) comes to a grisly end.

There’s also a psychic woman who tries to help but she has a bad encounter with an evil double of herself and the picture of the dead girl. The acting is pretty bad (except for Allen who's very good but never acted again). The effects run from cheesy to ok but the print I saw had a color problem and was badly edited.

The director Eddy Matalon also made BLACKOUT.

Thanks for reading!