Sunday, September 20, 2009

Bad Things Come In Threes They Say...

There are many many reasons to watch terrible movies but I don't know why sometimes. I was watching a movie from 1989 which was released on an unsuspected public by those "wonderful" idiots from Troma Pictures called THEY CALL ME MACHO WOMAN but was mercifully changed for cable to SAVAGE INSTINCT. A woman (Debra Sweaney) observes the operations of a cocaine producing farm. She's kidnapped, abused and nearly raped. She escapes but is recaptured and eventually fights back by cleaning up some old tools she finds in a shed and turning herself into a super backwoods revenge chick.



The drug group is made up of hippies, dweebs and other assorted assholes all led by a meanie named Mongo (played by shot putter and strongest man competitor Brian Oldfield who looks a little like Charles Napier). Some of the dialogue is silly but I think all the funny parts were suppose to be funny so maybe this was really a comedy/drama! Don't ya hate when that happens?! SAVAGE INSTINCT was written produced and directed by Patrick G. Donahue who made a couple of other movies including KILL SQUAD (with Cameron Mitchell) and the ROLLERBALL inspired GROUND RULES. Gee, I wonder what he's doing now....????....



Before he created Tae Bo and started teaching kickboxing to the likes of Shannon Tweed  and Hulk Hogan, Billy Blanks made some entertaining low budget martial arts action films (ironically he co-starred in 2 with wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper).

SHOWDOWN from 1993 is not one of them! This should not be confused with a Leo Fong "masterpiece" of the same name and made the same year. In this version barrel chested Billy plays a cop who kills a criminal accidently, quits the force and becomes a janitor at the school from Hell where Brion James is the principal. He winds up taking on a protege' (Kenn Scott) and blah,blah,blah Big Bill finds himself in a deadly finale with the brother of the dead criminal (Robert Kilpatrick) proving violence is the only way to go in this teen-fu drama filmed in Pheonix, Arizona. Director Robert Radler directed several direct to video sequels and TV shows. Well, it's a living......



TRAXX (1998) is a piss poor "comedy" that features DJ Shadow Stevens (a "celebrity" regular on several versions of TV's "Hollywood Squares") as a super mercenary do good-er aptly called Traxx. The inept filmakers try to make his totally obnoxious character likable by having him blow away lots of scumbag criminals but it doesn't help. It's sort of like a made for TV Troma movie! It features other TV actors like Priscilla Barnes, John Hancock and creepy Robert Davi. Thankfully director Jerome Gary has not been heard of for a while. Sadly, screenwriter Gary Devore (who had scripted DOGS OF WAR and later penned RAW DEAL) drowned to death under suspicious circumstances in 1997 at age at 56....


Thanks for reading!

3 comments:

The Bloody Pit of Horror said...

"Born to shop... She learned to kill!" Now how could that be bad? LOL. How are things going?

CavedogRob said...

Of course, you gotta remember that's some newer repackaged version with the cool blurb. Funny, I don't remember her doing much shopping! Lol! EVerything here is pretty much the same as it usually is! Lol! Thanks!

The Bloody Pit of Horror said...

Yeah, I think this is a Troma release and they always give the film some off-the-wall new title and snappy tag line to sell their crappy product. Mark of the Beast became Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell... Dark Fortress became A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell... etc. etc. They always manage to sucker me into watching their films. :)