VHS Tape? What's that?

V/H/S-2012-A bunch of losers who post “Jackass” like videos online are hired to go to a house and steal one certain VHS tape. In the house they find a dead old man in front of a wall of TVs. The group goes in search of the tape and leaves one guy in the room with the old man. The guy watches some VHS tapes and the following stories are shown.

“Amateur Night”-Some assholes doing drugs and drinking encounter a weird woman at a club. They take her to a hotel only to find out she's a castrating, cannibal succubus who can fly. Directed by David Brucker.

“Second Honeymoon”-A husband and wife on a road trip are kind of terrorized by a woman who breaks into their motel room and films them while they are asleep. She also steals some money and puts the husband's toothbrush in the toilet. It seems women are lovers out to kill the guy. Directed by Ti West.

“Tuesday the 17th”-Some dorks go to a lake front where one girl has been before. She jokingly says “You are all going to die up here”. They are menaced by a hooded killer who only appears as a glitch on the tape. The girl wants to catch him because he killed her friends and she is using her new friends as “bait” to trap him but it doesn't work out like she plans. Directed by Glenn McQuaid.

“The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger”-A guy and a girl talk via an online chat room. It seems her apartment is haunted and she has a mysterious cut on her arm. They seem to be far apart but he's actually nearby helping aliens breed with humans. At the end he has a new victim set up. Directed by Joe Swanberg.

“10/31/98”-Some yuppies go to a costume party but the house they go to is devoid of people. There's only a lot of empty rooms and a little girl apparition. In the attic they interrupt an exorcism and run away but have second thoughts when the hear the screams of the girl being exorcised. They go back and rescue her but she eventually leads the group to their doom on some railroad tracks. This is the only segment that features any tolerable characters you would care about! Directed by Radio Silence.

In between some of the segments (the wraparound story was directed by Adam Wingard) the old man's body disappears and reappears (though no one notices) and before the final segment the old man (maybe some kind of creature ) kills the leader of the gang.

V/H/S kind of represents a new trend in the horror anthology that was much more popular in the '60's and '70)'s with Hammer and AIP. Personally more “horror directors” should be involved in making them since 9 out of 10 modern horror movies are way too long. The trouble with this “found footage” production as with most found footage stories is it's all a cheat. Nothing needs to be explained, there's no beginning and sometimes no conclusion. The stories seem like idea never fully thought out. It's just there. You make what you want of it. That's ok once in while but it gets tedious after a while. But then again this has already generated 2 sequels so what do I know. I rather watch David Hewitt's GALLERY OF HORRORS. At least Lon Chaney and John Carradine are in it!

Accept no substitutes!

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading!