It Would Have Been Better If They'd Met Abbott & Costello!

QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE-1958-It's said that this notorious campy space nonsense started out as a serious science fiction story (the story was by Ben Hecht and the script was written by Charles Beaumont who wrote many classic TWILIGHT ZONE episodes) but I guess when they hired Ben Schwab who produced many of the later BOWERY BOYS entries to produce it and Edward Bernds who directed 3 Stooges shorts to helm it, things got out of control.

Three nutty astronauts (straight laced Eric Fleming, womanizer Patrick Waltz and comic relief Dave Willock) go on a "milk run" to deliver a famous scientist Prof. Konrad (NOT OF THIS EARTH's Paul Birch) to his space satellite. Before they can get here however a mysterious beam destroys the base and sends the ship crash landing on Venus (with Earth gravity and oxygen). It turns out Venus is inhabited by nothing but women lead by the evil masked Queen Ilyana (Laurie Mitchell) who's scarred face makes her hate all men. She also wants to destroy the Earth.

Top billed Zsa Zsa Gabor (some Venusians it seems have Hungarian accents) is Talleah, a scientist and head of a movement to over throw Ilyana ("I hate zat queen!"). The dumb men need women love story seems to be intentional but I think it got out of hand. For an Allied Artists movie it does have Technicolor and Cinemascope which kind of hide the cheesy effects.

Marilyn Buferd (from THE UNEARTHLY) has a small role as a traitor who is vaporized. Joi Lansing and Ralph Gamble have un-credited roles too. Fleming was starring on TV in RAWHIDE at the time. Gabor (still alive at the time of this writing) had a small role in Orson Welles' TOUCH OF EVIL the same year.

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Bela's Baby Blues In Color

SCARED TO DEATH-1947-This very weird low budget murder mystery (filmed in "natural color") is Bela Lugosi's only color film! And it's narrated by a dead woman! 

Just before an autopsy is to be performed on her, murder victim Laura Van Ee (Molly Lamont) decides to relate a flashback to the audience. She's a paranoid wife who believes her husband (Roland Varno) and her father in law Dr. Van Ee (George Zucco) are trying to drive her crazy so she will give the husband a divorce. Nat Pendleton is a dumb house detective who's sweet on the comic maid (Gladys Blake). Lugosi shows up as Prof. Leonide, the doctor's European cousin! He's accompanied by Indigo (Angelo Rossitto in his third movie with Bela), "a dwarf, one of the little men". The characters all talk very mysteriously and a figure in a blue mask keeps poking it's head in a window once in a while. Since the plot has something to do with a dancer in a green mask I suppose the cheap color process used here wasn't working very well.

Later, a clichéd fast talking reporter (Douglas Fowley) shows up to try and help Laura. Leonide and Indigo creep around and Lugosi really hams it up. It all has to do with a green scarf, a spy, revenge, a cross dresser and a murder committed 20 years before. The funniest part is when the doctor who's going to do the autopsy comes up to the body and says to his assistant "Is this the body?".

Director Christy Cabanne was nearly at the end of his long career that had started in 1912! Some of his other movies included GRAFT, the 1934 version of JANE EYRE and THE MUMMY'S HAND.

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Man From Laredo

GUNMEN FROM LAREDO-Columbia-1959-Techni-Color cheapy western about an innocent cowboy (Robert Knapp who had been in MESA OF LOST WOMEN) framed for murder by some corrupt brothers who also kill his wife (THE VIOLENT YEARS’ Jean Moorehead!). He goes to prison but escapes to seek revenge. He gets help from a Mexican woman (Jana Davi) who’d been kidnapped by an Indian (X-Brands). Corman vet Paul Birch is the U.S. Marshall who wants to see justice done.

Producer/Director Wallace MacDonald was a former silent actor who produced a lot of films (including two Karloff “hang” movies) but he only directed three films and MAN FROM LAREDO was the only one with sound! Star Knapp did a lot of TV later on.

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Ark Monster

MONSTER ARK-2008-In this schlock fest it seems that before Noah made his more famous ark, he made one to house a evil monster. An archeologist (Tim DeKay) leads an expedition that accidentally releases the creature. Renee O’Connor (TV’s XENA) is his ex-wife who joins him and they bicker a lot. Former wrestler Tiny Lister is the overacting army officer who leads a small group of soldiers who like to yell a lot while shooting at the monster. A secret sect is also after them and the staff of Noah has something to do with it. Amanda Crew and Bill Parks are the student helpers.

The director Declan O’Brien is scheduled to make WRONG TURN 3. It’s suppose to take place in Iraq but was filmed in Bulgaria. People may remember star DeKay from HBO’s CARNAVALE. I remember as “Bizzarro Jerry” on 2 episodes of SEINFELD.

“So long as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for their rights, we’ll be called a democracy”-Roger Baldwin

Hope Everyone had a fine Halloween! Thanks for reading!