The Drummer To The Rescue

 

 (wikipedia)

COMMAND PERFORMANCE-2009-Joe (director/co-writer Dolph Lundgren), an older pot smoking drummer in a Russian heavy metal band is doing a spliff in the bathroom when terrorists attack the special performance concert given for the Russian president and his daughters. They are all held hostage, along with a stuck-up US Britney Spears clone, by some loony revenge seeking guy. It's up to big Dolph to rescue the hostages. 

Typically violent derivative bs with no likable characters to care about. Bad acting too. Clement Von Franckenstein is an ambassador and Lundgren's real-life daughter has a role.

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He-Man

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE-1987-I always heard a lot of negative things about this Sci-Fi movie based on the popular '80's toys but I kind of liked it!

Dolph Lundgren is He-Man who with his companions Duncan (Jon Cypher), Teela (Chelsea Field) and Gwildor (Billy Barty) is transported to Earth through Gwildor's invention called "a tonal key". The evil Skeletor (Frank Langella) wants the key and sends a bevy of super baddies with names like Beastman, Saurod and Blade (Anthony De Longis) to get it. Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster) leads them in the hunt. Courtney Cox is the earth girl who helps the good guys.

There's lots of action and crazy monster costumes and some of the dialogue is pretty funny. Despite all the battles there are really no deaths so a scene where He-Man is flogged seems a little out of place.

James Tolkan is a hot headed cop and Stanley Livingston (Ernie on TV's MY THREE SONS) is thrown in for comic relief. The part where Skeletor receives some power made me think of a scene with Langella, (an obvious ham), in the later THE NINTH GATE!).

Future TV director Robert Duncan McNeill is Cox's boyfriend and Christina Pickles is the imprisoned Sorceress of Castle Greyskull. Director Gary Goddard had written the Bo Derek version of TARZAN OF THE APES and later worked on things like HERSHEY'S REALLY BIG 3-D SHOW.

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They Definately Live Up To Their Name!

THE EXPENDABLES-2010-Director and star Sylvester Stallone is Barney Ross who leads a mercenary group which includes Jet Li, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture and Terry Crews. Dolph Lundgren is also part of the team but gets kicked out. Ross wants Tool (Mickey Rourke) to take his place.

Despite the odd ball cast promotion most of the film is Stallone and Stratham trying to save the daughter (Giselle Itie’) of a dictator (David Zayas) who’s teamed with an ex-CIA agent (Eric Roberts, the only real actor in the group and he wasn't even featured in the ads!) who’s bodyguard is played by pro wrestler Steve Austin. Li gets to do some martial arts toward the end and the climax is an all out violent gun and hand to hand battle. The best fight occurs during this sequence. But Stallone isn’t a great director and there’s too much CGI effects. This was a real hyped up movie that fails to deliver anything that hasn’t been done already in countless direct to video movies!

As of this writing a sequel is planned to include Jean Claude Van Damme...

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Sunday Morning Trio

Misguided, stilted attempt to make a western that had a more sympath-etic portrayal of The American Indian, GERONIMO (1962) stars Chuck Connors (riding high with his THE RIFLEMAN series at the time) as the proud Native American leader who leads 50 warrirors in a stand off with the US Army. Future WILD WILD WEST TV co-star Ross Martin plays his plain talking second ba-nana who decides to join with him even though he likes farming corn on the reservation. Adam West (who in a mere four years would rocket to TV fame as "Batman") is a sympath-etic officier. The soon to be Mrs. Connors, Kamala Devi plays Mrs. Geronimo (Wonder if she knows a pro-wrestler stole her name?). 

Denver Pyle and Lawrence Dobkin are also in the cast. It's not the laugh-fest it could have been and the filmakers seem to be sincere in their attempt to show the Indians' plight but despite some good action sequences it never really gets off the ground. Still it has it's entertaining moments.


The director, Arnold Laven had made some other movies like the seldom seen THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD but he went on to direct all sorts of TV series in all different genres in-cluding MARCUS WELBY MD, THE PLANET OF THE APES, SHAZAM, ISIS, THE ROCKFORD FILES and many many others.

Unless it's THE MATRIX beware of movies with 2 directors. Such is the case with THE DANGEROUS (1994), a violent disjoined New Orleans based crime drama featuring Cary Hiro-yuki-Tagawa as a ninja like assassin out for revenge on the shits who killed his sister. As I've said before Tagawa should be in better movies but who listens to me? Michael Pare' (who doesn't deserve to be in better movies) is a cop investigating the case. I mean does this guy Pare' really think anyone cares that he has an accent over his name? No wonder he makes crappy movies like this. Nobody wants to bother to spell his name correctly!



Smooth skinned challenged Robert Davi plays an ex-cop (?) who comes back from the Mid-West (?) to help. He teams up with Pare' and gives new meaning to the word "dicks". This plays like two different movies with two different storylines (re-member: two directors!). Juan Fer-nadez (who started his career in movies like Doris Wishman's THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT) is a mob boss. John Savage (who apparently has an agent who cares nothing about his career) is a hitman who guts a guy while opera music plays. Joel Grey (proving that even Oscar winners can hit rock bottom) is a grubby informer named Flea. Elliot Gould is a weird movie projectionist with a hair net. Former Playboy centerfold (an ex-OJ girlfriend) Paula Barbieri is the female lead but doesn't even take off her shoes!! 

Who made this movie? A Bene-dictine Monk???? 

The one good scene takes place in a movie theater. Producer David Winters is responsible for a lot of junk......




Dolph Lundgren has been around for a while. Most film goers remember him as the angry Russian boxer in ROCKY 4 (or 5?). He made a lot of action movies after that including SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO with the late Brandon Lee, the original screen version of the comicbook avenger THE PUNISHER and sci-fi movies like I COME IN PEACE. I always felt he was a little easier to take than guys like Stallone or Bruce Willis (who's so called action movies got big releases then died at the box office) but eventually he became just another direct to video "action guy" and seemed to run out of things to do.

Such is the case with PENTATHLON (1994) which begins in 1988 at The Seoul Olympics. East Germany athelete Erik (Lundgren, also a co-executive producer) shows off his expertise in swimming, fencing, shooting, horseback, eating and smirking. His authoritarian coach is played by David Soul (with a German accent). The secret police won't let Erik or the rest of his team fratentize with The Americans. He decides to defect to the US and becomes a short order cook/drunk. Roger Mosley is his boss who becomes Erik's coach when he decides to come out of retirement ("I'm gonna be your O-lympic fuel"). Soul is still around and is now a neo-Nazi. He wants to wreck Erik's chances and bring him back home. This is kind of a Rocky inspired Don Wilson martial arts/espionage/ action drama without Wilson or martial arts.

Director Bruce Malmuth (who also acts in this) once had a career, making NIGHTHAWKS with Stallone, THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE (a flop comedy with Steve Guttenberg) and HARD TO KILL with Steven Seagal. Though I guess it's not hard to figure out how he wound up doing this!

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