The Crazy '50's

THE WILD AND THE WICKED (aka FLESH MERCHANT)-1956-In this badly acted and directed morality play, innocent dope Nancy Sheridan (Joy Reynolds) comes to Hollywood to live with her older sister Paula (Lisa Rack). Nancy wants to be a model like her big sis but Paula wants her to go back home. Instead of leaving Nancy goes to model at an "art school", modeling nude for the sleazy pair of Mr. Barnes and Mr. Sogel (Guy Manford). Sogel sends her to "the colony", run by sleazy Vito Pirelli  (Mark Perri) and his comic sidekick Joker. She strikes up a friendship with her roommate Easy. Everything goes along fine until some middle-age guy puts the moves on her. She tries to leave but Vito won't let her. She becomes a whore real fast. After a party where one of the girls does a weird dance, Vito beats up Easy and sends her to "skid row". Easy helps the cops and Vito is killed in a shootout. Ironically, Nancy gets a big surprise when Easy's replacement turns out to be sister Paula! At another party Paula freaks out and shouts "You're all drunks and lechers! You're scum! Buyers of sin!". Just before Rogell and Joker can harm the sisters the cops show up.

Director W. Merle Connell also made TEST TUBE BABIES.

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Hellman

BEAST FROM THE HAUNTED CAVE-1959-At ski resort in Deadwood,South Dakota, a petty gangster Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) plans to blow up a mine as a distraction so he and his gang can rob a safe full of gold. His girlfriend Gypsy (Sheila Noonan, also in Jerry Warrens's INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD) flirts with Gil  Jackson (familiar TV actor Michael Forest), a ski instructor. After they've pulled off the heist the gang has Gil lead them cross country skiing to make their escape (he is unaware they are making a getaway). Things go ok until they are terrorized by a weird spider like monster (Chris Robinson, also in a small role as a bartender) who attacks and puts his victims in cocoons (like ALIEN) and sucks their blood (like in ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES which producer Gene Corman also made the same year). There's a lot of talk and the climax is over in a flash!

This was the first feature by director Monte Hellman (BACK DOOR TO HELL, TWO LANE BLACK TOP). It suffers from a low budget (Roger Corman was the executive producer) but moves along very quickly! The screenplay is by Charles B. Griffith who also wrote the Corman (Roger) directed BUCKET OF BLOOD  the same year and in 1960 penned the original  LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, This guy deserves an  honorary Academy Award!

BEAST's very minimal cast also features Wally Campos, Richard Sinatra and Kay Jennings. This was kind of remade by Corman as CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA.

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Dead On

DEAD TARGET-1991-A young woman (Sharon Kwok) in Hong Kong receives a letter from her grandfather asking her to come to Thailand and bring with her a special pendant which is the key to finding a priceless crown the old man hid years before. She's fighting and on the run almost from the first time she gets off the the plane. Besides lots of fighting she also winds up dancing in a drag revue and becoming a call girl! She keeps running into a guy (Chin Siu Ho from MR. VAMPIRE) who seems to be working for a white gangster trying to find the crown. Fortunately he's actually an Interpol agent.  There are a lot of fights but most of them are clever and comical. There's a shootout in a cattle car, drag queens, an elephant raid but mostly everyone fights. Apparently around this time many Hong Kong produced movies were filmed in Thailand.

Director Siu-Wah Lee may have been married to star Kwok.

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Time's Up!

WHEN TIME EXPIRES-1997-Travis Beck (Richard Greico) is an alien on a mission from the "Union of Peace and Progress". In 2 days he has to put a coin in a certain parking meter. He's also being targeted by some assassins. Mark Hamil plays another alien who comes to warn him of trouble. He meets a waitress (Cynthia Geary) who's crippled father (Chad Everett) is also an alien. It turns out someone wants Earth destroyed before it is allowed in the union. Even though the story isn't exactly what it appears to be it's still predictable. Tim Thomerson and Ron Masak are also in it. This played on Showtime Extreme and I understand why. It's extremely talky, extremely tedious, extremely bad. Blame director David Bourla...

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28 Days Inspired

OUTPOST: BLACK SUN-2012-In this 28 DAYS LATER inspired horror flick, a stupid arrogant woman (Catherine Steadman, her limited acting abilities might have something to do with her character being so unlikable...it's hard to tell...) hunting a Nazi comes across a Third Reich plot to make humans into zombies involving a special machine and the Unified Field Theory. She's joined by a missing physicist. Some commandos are after the machine too. The zombie making leader of course turns out to be the Nazi the woman is looking for. Most of it is too dark to see and the shaky CGI SFX camera work doesn't help. The ironic ending is stupid.

This English production, shot in Scotland, seems to actually be a sequel to a 2007 movie called OUTPOST by the same director (Steve Barker).

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Blair Witch Inspired

THE CHERNOBYL DIARIES-2012-Some American tourists in Russia try some "extreme tourism" by visiting an abandoned city near the infamous nuclear explosion area. Of course it's obvious they should'nt go there so of course they do! They trust some stupid local named Uri to take them there even after the army forbids them entrance. Everything goes ok until Uri gets frightened and decides it's time to leave. Then it starts: their van doesn't work when they want to leave, Uri gets a gun and goes exploring, one guy (Pop singer Jesse McCarthey) goes with him and winds up getting gored in the leg, the van is attacked by dogs, then group flounders around in the dark trying to fix the wounded guy's leg. They find Uri's remains and then are menaced by what turns out to be the escaped radiation scarred residents of the area. 

The direction is very good but the explanation and resolution of the BLAIR WITCH PROJECT inspired story are a letdown. Filmed in Serbia and Hungry. This was first (and so far only) film from director Brad Parker who before this was a digital artist on films like THE TIME MACHINE remake and an assistant director. One of the screenwriters Oren Peli wrote PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

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Mikels' Angels?

THE DOLL SQUAD-1973-A senator and a government agent named Connelly watch a manned space rocket explode after a mysterious voice intones "perhaps next time you'll listen". A computer ("Big Bertha") suggests bringing in members of "The Doll Squad", a lethal all female group of agents lead by Sabrina Kincade (Francine York from Larry Buchanan's CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE). Unfortunately, her first two picks are killed by assassins. It turns out Sabrina's ex-husband Eamon O'Reilly (Micheal Ansara) is behind the destruction in his mad plan to release the bubonic plague on the world! They try to get Sabrina but she burns one guy with a special cigarette lighter. While skeet shooting the senator (John Carter), Connelly (Anthony Eisley) and Sabrina have a big discussion (she says "sex and security just don't mix") and she shows off her min-arsenal. Sabrina eventually recruits an Olympic swimmer (Leigh Christian), an exotic dancer (Tura Santana) and a carnival ticket seller (Jean London).

This was obviously ripped off by Aaron Spelling to make the TV hit CHARLIE'S ANGELS but DOLL has more violence, blood, bad acting and the leads in more revealing clothes. If the TV show had been like this I would have watched every week!

The presence of Ansara brings the movie up a notch. Both he and Eisley were busy TV actors at the time.

It was co-written, directed and produced by TV Mikels a year after BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS. The fights are pretty badly staged but it's far more entertaining than most reviews give it credited for. It also features exploding bad guys, a few gadgets, Rafael Campos and Mikels regulars Herb Robins and William Bagdad. Except for the seldom seen ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES in 1976, Mikels next low budget exploitation movie would be TEN VIOLENT WOMEN in '83!  Theme song sung by Solomon King.

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