Yer Saaafe!

SAFE AT HOME-1962-Slight comedy made for kids and NY Yankees fans.

A little boy named Hutch (Bryan Russell) lives a on a boat with his dad (Ken Lawton) in Florida. He likes to play baseball and loves The New York Yankees. When a teammate makes him mad he tells them he and his father are good friends with Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris. Naturally he gets into a lot of trouble over this so he decides to visit the Yanks spring training facility and ask the two sluggers for help. William Frawley (a regular on TV’s MY THREE SONS at the time) is their wisecracking coach and then real life manager Ralph Houk appears as himself. Whitey Ford has a cameo too. Parts of it are dumb but it’s nice to see the two baseball legends try to act.

Patricia Barry is the father’s love interest. Russell played Ann-Margret’s little brother in BYE BYE BIRDIE the next year. Director Walter Doniger worked mostly in TV but made a few other movies including THR STEEL JUNGLE, UNWED MOTHER and HOUSE OF WOMEN.

One of SAFE AT HOME's screenplay credits is for Steven Ritch. An actor of the same name played the lead in a late 50’s horror film THE WEREWOLF. Not sure though if they are one in the same!

"Everybody wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant"-Cary Grant

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50's Horror Double Feature

THE VAMPIRE-1957 -No one seems to like this “modern vampire story” but it’s ok for me. Dr. Paul Beecher (stage actor John Beal), is a kindly dedicated family MD who’s cheery daughter accidentally slips him some pills that turn him into an ugly blood craving monster. At night he terrorizes his patients and worries about harming his nurse (Coleen Gray) and daughter (Lydia Reed, later on TV‘s THE REAL McCOYS). A police lieutenant (THE THING’s Kenneth Tobey) tries to track the monster down. Meanwhile Beecher’s doctor/friend (Dabbs Greer) tries to figure out the scientific end. His assistant Henry (John Abbott) is a weird analytical genius who hates sunlight, (“Dull knife. I cannot work with a dull knife”) Paul Brinegar is Willy the coroner who says to Tobey‘s character: “Guess you haven’t had any excitement since Abe Hibbel axed his mother in law”.



THE RETURN OF DRACULA-1958-This low budget vampire tale has a lot of atmosphere but is kind of ruined by Francis Lederer’s sub par performance as the legendary count. Dracula escapes his homeland and takes the place of Bellac, an Eastern European artist on his way to live with his American cousins in California. The daughter Rachel (Norma Eberhardt) comes under his spell but no one seems to think that his strange ways are unusual. He keeps his coffin in a cave on the outskirts of town (actually the famous Bronson Canyon) and when he first is shown rising there’s a lot of smoke and it’s in slow motion!

Drac’s first victim is a sick blind girl who later becomes un-dead. When she has a stake driven in her a fast scene of blood spurting out of her body is in color! Drac even turns himself into a big dog to kill an investigator. Fortunately her boyfriend (Ray Stricklyn) suspects trouble. There’s a weird Halloween party before the climax where The Count is bloodily impaled in a mine shaft.

RETURN isn’t a bad movie at all but Lederer doesn’t make a good Dracula. He’s too beady eyed. He seems to be trying to capture a Lugosi type essence but fails and sometimes sounds like he’s doing a Peter Lorre imitation.

Director Paul Landres worked mostly in TV but his occasional film ventures included THE VAMPIRE (see above), THE FLAME BARRIER, GO! JOHNNY GO! and the made for TV anthology series that starred Boris Karloff, known collectively as THE VEIL.

Gerald Fried’s musical score helps a lot. Also with Gage Clarke Jimmy Baird and William Fawcett. Strangely there is a character named Dr. Paul Beecher; also the name of John Beal’s character in THE VAMPIRE!

"Tis better to be silent and thought a fool then to speak and
remove all doubt"-Honest Abe Lincoln

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2 Bad

IN THE SPIDER’S WEB-2007-Crazy nonsense has a group of backpackers in India stumble upon a mysterious village where a Dr. Lecorpus (Lance Henriksen) and his strange brother like to inject people with spider venom as part of some local spider cult. They are actually harvesting organs for the black market. Henriksen makes a good villain but the best character is the comical local police sergeant who helps them. It sort of turns into a comedy for the climax!




MANTICORE-2005-In Iraq a dopey professor resurrects an ancient beast to seek revenge. A team of soldiers led by Robert Beltran go looking for a missing reporter and most of them get eaten. It’s pretty stupid and the soldiers act like assholes. Jeff Fahey is the major in charge. Director Tripp Reed was a former actor.

"I've got to stopping watching movies on the Sci-Fi channel"-me

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It's A Crime!

TEENAGE CRIME WAVE-1955-Two punks (Tommy Cook & Molly McCart) drag an innocent girl (Sue England) into their life of crime. After a botched robbery the girls go to prison but are sprung by the hoodlum boyfriend. They wind up holding an old couple and their college age son (James Griffin) hostage and get very excited when they see their mug shots on TV. A police shoot out puts an end to their “crime spree”. Although this is a pretty standard drama the prolific director Fred F. Sears throws in a few interesting touches. Cook co-starred in MISSLE TO THE MOON the next year.

"To invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk"-Thomas Edison

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Go Fetch!

FIDO-2006-This is a Canadian made comedy-satire about the domestication of the zombies after a space meteor causes the dead to rise (gee, I wonder where they got that idea from?). The living dead are used for slave labor in a gated community (this was sort of the premise of Geo. Romero’s original treatment of DAY OF THE DEAD!). They act as servants mostly serving dinner and mowing lawns. Special collars keep their flesh eating in check. A lonely kid named Timmy (K’Sun Ray) winds up befriending his family’s only zombie (Billy Connolly) who he names Fido. His mother(Carrie-Ann Moss) looks at it as a status symbol. His father (Dylan Baker) hates it because he had to kill his own father turned zombie. It’s ok but after a while it has nowhere to go. The best part is the zombie education film shown at the beginning.

“Incidentally, you might have noticed that all through the ages prominent men have prominent noses”-Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone) in THE WOMAN IN GREEN

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Incredible!

THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED UP ZOMBIES!!?-1964-Low budget but fun nonsense from Ray Dennis Steckler.

Madame Estrella (Brett O’Hara), a fortune teller with a wart on her face, throws acid into the faces of some male customers and keeps them locked in a cage. Her very strange chain smoking servant Ortega (Jack Brady) helps out. So does her sister. Marge. An alcoholic dancer (Carolyn Brandt; at the time the director’s wife) goes to visit Estrella and accidentally discovers her secret so Estrella hypnotizes deadbeat Jerry (Cash Flagg; the director himself using his famous pseudonym) to kill her. The sight of Jerry in hooded sweat shirt with budging eyes is very crazed. After the killing Jerry has a weird dream with dancing girls. He later imagines his girlfriend to be Marge and tries to kill her. Estrella has Jerry kill one more person then splashes him with acid and intends to put him with the rest of her “collection”. Unfortunately for her, the disfigured ones break out and kill her, Ortega and her sister. They then interrupt a big dance number and kill some dancers. The police intervene and kill the monster-zombie-victims. Jerry runs out to the ocean, climbs some rocks and is shot down by the police leaving his girlfriend and roommate (Atlas King in bee hive hairdo) to mourn him. Titus Moede (who later co-starred in Steckler’s BAT FINK A BOO-BOO) has a small role.

TISCWSLABMUZ is referred to as something like a good bad movie. It’s very silly and badly acted (Most of Atlas King’s dialogue is lost under his accent) but like all Ray Steckler’s movies it’s likable and fun despite it’s goofy flaws. And Steckler/Flagg makes a great psycho killer (though not as good as in his next film THE THRILL KILLERS). This was his second feature after WILD GUITAR in 1962.

The cinematography is by Joseph V. Mascelli who later directed THE ATOMIC BRAIN but 2 camera operators went on to bigger things: Laszlo Kovacs and Vilmos Zsigmund. Co-Screenwriter Robert Silliphant is credited with the story for a much worse film, THE CREEPING TERROR!



Mr. Flagg!


"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"-Einstein

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The Prestige

THE PRESTIGE-2006-Between his two BATMAN movies director Christopher Nolan made this unusual tale using two of his BAT-stars. Two rival magicians Robert Angier (post Wolverine Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden (post Batman Christian Bale) try to learn how each other perform their tricks/illusions. Robert becomes obsessed with learning the secret to Alfred’s “The Transformed Man”.

This movie would have been better if it weren’t told in (sometimes confusing) flashbacks and if Bale hadn’t whispered so much. It also has an improbable twist ending that is kind of ridiculous. Michael Caine (Bale’s BATMAN co-star) is good as the man behind the magic but the highlight is David Bowie’s small role as Nikola Tesla. Also with Scarlett Johanssen, Piper Perabo, Roger Rees, Andy Serkis and Christopher Neame.

"Poetry is what gets lost in translation"-Robert Frost

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Out West With Stan & Laurel

WAY OUT WEST-1937-In an old west setting Laurel and Hardy play Stan & Ollie two nincompoops who for some reason are entrusted to deliver a gold mine deed to a young woman named Mary (Rosina Lawrence) who works in a kitchen at a local saloon. Of course they mess the whole thing up as the saloon owner (L & H regular James Finlayson ) tricks them into giving it to his wife (Sharon Lynne), the saloon’s star attraction. There’s some very funny bits especially when the duo try to get back the deed after it’s been locked in a safe. They also sing “On The Trail of the Lonesome Pine”.

Director James W. Horne had previously made two other Laurel and Hardy vehicles BONNIE SCOTLAND and THE BOHEMIAN GIRL.


"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything"-Alexander Hamilton

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Django!

DIE BALLADE VON SCHNUCKENACK REINHARDT-1997-If you like jazz guitar music and you don’t know who Django Reinhardt is you owe it to yourself to find out. Dubbed “the Gypsy Guitar player” he made some fantastic recordings (many with jazz violinist Stephane Grappelli) in his short life but had his greatest success playing during the Nazi occupation of his native France (while Hitler incarcerated half a million Gypsies in concentration camps). Reinhardt had an unusual technique having lost two fingers in a fire when he was young. This documentary is more about devotees to the art and Django and Gypsy music than the man himself but it still has some good points. He has a dedicated following in Japan but is most used commercially in France where Gypsies aren’t exactly welcomed. The funniest part is an old French man who claims to have Reinhardt’s birth certificate locked in a chest he can’t open!

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Three Fast ones

GRAVEYARD OF HONOR-1975-Kinji Fukusaku made this “fictional documentary” about the rise and fall of a Japanese gangster named Isikawa (Tetsuya Watari). It’s fast paced and very violent but not as good for me as some of his other films (especially his THE YAKUZA PAPERS series). Fukusaku’s influence on future Asian directors like John Woo (and probably Quentin Tarantino) is obvious.



THE HEIRLOOM-2005-This Asian horror film from Taiwan is about the “raising of ghost children”, the blood worship of a dead fetus to ensure prosperity to a family. A young man inherits a house and strange things occur affecting him and his dancer girlfriend. The atmosphere is there but basically the story goes nowhere and the climax is a disappointment.



LEAVES OUT OF SATAN’S BOOK-1921-Another incredible film by Carl Theodor Dreyer (his third at the time) depicts the work of devil in four historical episodes: The Betrayal by Judas of Christ, The Spanish Inquisition The French Revolution and The Russian Invasion of Finland (the modern segment set in 1918). It’s probably inspired by DW Griffith’s episodic INTOLERANCE, which was made the year before. It’s a long silent film (over 2 hours) but Dreyer uses his personal style and vision to masterfully convey the stories .

“If I had a choice of having a woman in my arms or shooting a bad guy on a horse I’d take the horse. It’s a lot more fun”-Kevin Costner

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Also Known as ROMASANTA

WEREWOLF HUNTER-2004-Julian Sands is Romasanta, a serial type killer in 1850’s Spain who also happens to be a werewolf. He seduces women and then kills them and what ever other family members happen to be around. Another guy named Antonio claims Santarosa turned him into a werewolf and tries to get revenge. A doctor/coroner seems to be based on the lead character in Caleb Carr’s novel “The Alienist”. It tries to be very arty and serious but Sands isn’t very good. After he’s captured he's put on trial but the doctor says he’s just crazy and can be cured. But it never gets that far. Supposedly this is based on a true story. Directed by Paco Plaza. Brian Yuzna was a producer.

“Condemnation does not liberate. It oppresses“-Carl Jung

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Silent Baseball Games

THE BUSHER-1919-A young baseball player (Charles Ray) goes to the big city and forgets his girlfriend (Coleen Moore) until a rival (John Gilbert) shows up. Clichéd by today’s standards this was a big hit in its time. Star Ray was a matinee idol until he lost his fortune investing (and starring) in an independent flop. He later tired unsuccessfully to break into the NY Theater and then played bit roles in some talkies. Like many ex-silent stars he died unusually, from an impacted tooth that became infected! He was 52. THE BUSHER (A Thomas Ince Production) is also interesting as it featured then unknowns Moore and Gilbert who would achieve fame a few years later.

CASEY AT THE BAT OR THE FATE OF A ROTTEN UMPIRE-1899-Fragment filmed by The Edison Company depicts a batter disgruntled with the umpire’s call who attacks the official. Even back then “kill the umpire” seemed to be part of the game!



HEARTS AND DIAMONDS-1914-Filmdom’s first comedy star was John Bunny. (the above picture) Though forgotten today in his time he was one of the most famous people in the world!

Although his career lasted a scant 5 years (ending with his death at 51 in 1915) he made over 200 short films! Mostly comedies though once in a while he “stepped out” in a dramatic role like THE PICKWICK PAPERS. He made many of his shorts with actress Flora Finch. They became so well known as a comedy duo that their films were called “Bunnyfinches”.

In HEARTS AND DIAMONDS Bunny plays a widower trying to woo a rich widow. It turns out she’s a real baseball fan (“I simply adore baseball players”) so Bunny creates his own team and puts himself in the starting line-up to win her. There’s lots of slapstick. One reason Bunny (a rather grotesque but lovable character) isn’t remembered is so little of his work exists. This was one of his last. Thankfully there’s a station like TCM that is finding “lost classics” and presenting them to film fans!

“First Thing We Do Is Kill All The Lawyers”-Bill Shakespeare

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Not So Grimm

THE RETURN OF PETER GRIMM-1934-Unusual drama with Lionel Barrymore as a dying old man who arranges the wedding of his niece (Helen Mack who was in SON OF KONG the year before) to an unscrupulous nephew (Allen Vincent). He dies and his regretful spirit comes back to make amends. The poignant (and ironic) but uplifting ending is reminiscent of ON BORROWED TIME (filmed 5 years later). Also with Donald Meek (who appeared with Barrymore in YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU). Director George Nichols Jr. was killed in a car crash in 1939. It’s based on a play by David Belasco and is a remake of a 1926 silent film.

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Ya Ya Yakuza

THE YAKUZA PAPERS (1973-1974) is a five part movie series directed by Kinji Fukusaku. It follows the rise and fall of different crime families mostly through the eyes of one character named Hirono played by Bunta Suguwara, who stars in all five. Most of the time rival gangs are arguing, killing or double-crossing each other. It hardly seems they have time for actual criminal activities! It’s very bloody and fast paced with some crazy camera angles and unintentional laughs but seems to carve out a pretty bleak future for crime fighting.

Sonny Chiba co-stars in the second one (DEADLY FIGHT IN HIROSHIMA) as a sleazy hood. Part 3 is called PROXY WAR, followed by POLICE TACTICS and FINAL EPISODE. Director Fukusaku (who died in 2003) made many other Yakuza related dramas but took time out in to make two wacky Sci-Fi movies THE GREEN SLIME and MESSAGE FROM SPACE.

“Regret for things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for things we did not do that is inconsolable”. …Sidney J. Harris

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Great Eyes!

EYES WITHOUT A FACE-1960-It’s cool to see this intriguing French art film with horror trappings restored to it’s original version with English sub-titles, after only seeing it cut and dubbed on late night TV in the early ‘70’s.

A plastic surgeon tries to repair his daughter’s disfigured face (described by one character as “an open wound”). Unfortunately he must kill unsuspecting women to achieve this. The daughter (Edith Scob) usually wears a white faceless mask and doesn’t want her father to continue his “cure”. She only seems happy with the dogs her father keeps locked in the basement for experimental use. Alda Valdi (from THE THIRD MAN) plays the doctor’s assistant.

The director Georges Franju made other feature length films after this but at the time was known for a controversial short. He was known in France for co-founding the film archive Cinematheque Française.

EYES was released in the US (and on TV) under the more exploitable title THE HORROR CHAMBER OF DR. FAUSTUS which probably disappointed a lot of horror fans who saw it.

"Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all."-George Washington

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Before Wrestlemania and Darren Aronofsky

THE WRESTLER-1974-If you followed professional wrestling in the 1970’s you’ll probably like this time capsule. Ed Asner (taking a break from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”) stars as Frank Bass a professional wrestling promoter. He has difficulty finding an opponent to beat champion Mike Bullard (real life AWA wrestling champion Verne Gagne). He also has trouble with a gangster (Chicago Wrestling announcer Sam Muchnik).

Another real pro wrestler (and real life rival to Gagne’s title) Billy Robinson plays Billy Taylor, an English grappler who thinks he can unseat Bullard. Elaine Giftos plays Asner’s secretary/love interest. The main story-line involves a “Super Bowl of Wrestling” that Bullard is eager to participate in and win. His wife (Sarah Miller) just wants him to retire. The legendary team of The Crusher and The Bruiser are the most entertaining characters. If they were around today they’d have their own TV show! A scene featuring The Outlaws (Dusty Rhodes & Dick Murdoch) fighting Harold “Odd Job” Sakata in a bar seems unrelated to the rest of the film.

It’s not as bad as one might suspect especially when you consider that except for Asner, Giftos and Miller all the other major roles are filled by wrestlers! The best part is a match between Eddie Graham and Wilbur Snyder while Gagne narrates a short history of the sport. Many other wrestlers appear in cameos. The director, Jim Westlake never made another movie.

"History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there"-George Santayana

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The Indian of The Group...

RIP Jimmy Carl Black-original drummer for The Mothers of Invention.

Ark Monster

MONSTER ARK-2008-In this schlock fest it seems that before Noah made his more famous ark, he made one to house a evil monster. An archeologist (Tim DeKay) leads an expedition that accidentally releases the creature. Renee O’Connor (TV’s XENA) is his ex-wife who joins him and they bicker a lot. Former wrestler Tiny Lister is the overacting army officer who leads a small group of soldiers who like to yell a lot while shooting at the monster. A secret sect is also after them and the staff of Noah has something to do with it. Amanda Crew and Bill Parks are the student helpers.

The director Declan O’Brien is scheduled to make WRONG TURN 3. It’s suppose to take place in Iraq but was filmed in Bulgaria. People may remember star DeKay from HBO’s CARNAVALE. I remember as “Bizzarro Jerry” on 2 episodes of SEINFELD.

“So long as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for their rights, we’ll be called a democracy”-Roger Baldwin

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Not The Real Scarface!

CAPTAIN SCARFACE-1953-I thought this was going to be a movie about pirates. Barton McLane headlines as the title character, a communist ship’s captain who has a plan to blow up the Panama Canal with an atomic bomb! Peter Coe is his assistant. Leif Erickson is the reluctant hero who came aboard the ship with a dead man’s passport. He tries to help a doctor (Rudolph Anders who was in F. Lee Wilder‘s PHANTOM FROM SPACE the same year) and his daughter (Virginia Grey). It’s mostly talk in this Astor Pictures release. Also with Isabel Randolph and Paul Brinegar. Hal Roach Jr. was a co-producer.

Director Paul Guilfoyle was had been an actor (he’s the guy James Cageny “ventilates” in the car trunk in WHITE HEAT) but in the early ’50’s he ventured into directing. His output was mostly in TV but he died in 1961 at the age of 58. He’s no relation to the more recent TV actor of the same name. Screenwriter Charles Lang had also been an actor.

Villain/star McLane was in movies since 1926! It seems appropriate to this review to mention that his last role was a reoccurring one on TV’s I DREAM OF JEANNIE! Second billed Virginia Grey was in many movies and made her last in 1976. (She died in 2004). Co-star Erickson was the father in INVADERS FROM MARS the same year.

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