Hit Casey

HIT MAN-1972-Crazy blaxpoitation film with a lawyer Tyrone Tackett (Bernie Casey; also in the TV horror movie GARGOYLES the same year) investigating his brother's death. He locks horns with wimpy gangster Huey (Roger E. Mosley) and gets involved with porno movies when he discovers his niece Rochelle (Candy All) is an actress in them. He also crosses path with a white gangster Zito (Don Diamond; Crazy Cat on the '60's TV show F-TROOP). A stand out funny role is delivered by Sam Laws as Sherwood, a friend of the dead guy. Pam Grier (after roles in THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE and THE BIG BIRD CAGE) is featured as a prostitute (going topless) who winds up getting eaten by a tiger!

This is full of characters (especially Casey) in  outrageous outfits and terrible hip dialogue ("I Have not yet to get on your case,brother"). A disgusting highlight is an illegal dog fight. It's pretty stupid but still entertaining. John Lupton appears briefly as the director of a commercial. Director George Armitage later made VIGILANTE FORCE and GROSSE POINTE BLANK.

It's based on the novel JACK'S RETURN HOME by Ted Lewis  which was also the basis for the 1971 fim GET CARTER. Marilyn Joi (using the name Tracy Ann King) is also in it.

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Italian Horror

THE LAST HOUSE IN THE WOODS-2006-In the 1980's Italy churned countless cannibal exploitation movies featuring cheap extreme gore, nudity and real animal killings. It's been a long time since the last one but director Gabriele Albanesi (his first feature film after music videos and shorts) seems to want to revive the genre' with his TEXAS CHAINSAW (and Bava and Argento) inspired splatter film.

While discussing their relationship problems a couple Aurora (Daniela Virgillo) and Rino (Daniele Grassetti) are terrorized by three thugs. Rino is beaten badly but before the trio can do harm to Aurora the thugs are chased away by Antonio (Gennaro Diana) who happens to be driving by with his wife Clara (Santa De Santis). Antonio takes the couple back to his house and then the trouble begins. (you know right away by the title anyway...) It turns out Antonio and Clara are the parents to killer cannibalistic children. One is a little boy with sharp teeth and the other two are giggling sadistic "monsters". (they look like something from a Coffin Joe movie) After being knocked out Aurora awakens to find Rino with his leg cut off and the family munching on it. They then proceed to cut off his arm with a chainsaw! Meanwhile the punks return and seem to be Aurora's only hope for survival! It features a bloody beating, a guy trying to hold in his bleeding intestines, a bloody knife fight, flesh ripping and a surprise in the basement but the grossest scene involves the crushing of a tumor on one of the killer's neck. Director Albanesi sets up some great scenes with color, darkness and unusual music (at least for this kind of movie) but some scenes go on too long and the shock ending didn't make a whole lot of sense. Still it's better than most recent horror films made in the US.

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Wrestling Women

BELOW THE BELT-1980-A waitress named Rosa (Regina Baff) trains to become a woman wrestler (well, I guess she couldn't train to become a male wrestler...). Since she's tried various occupations no one believes she'll succeed. She's trained by Mildred Burke (a real life former pro wrestler) and she practices on her DJ boyfriend.  She trains hard, her gum chewing friend comes on to her and she's dumped by her boyfriend. She goes to Florida to train under the weird looking Jean (Billie Mahoney). Dolph Sweet plays Jean's husband, an alcoholic who can't remember which character in has to play in the ring and says "old wrestlers never die, they just fake away". The conceited butch ladies champ Terrible Tommy (real pro wrestler Jane O'Brien) gives her a hard time. After some adventures and soul searching Rosa gets her title shot at Tommy. Shirley Stoler from THE HONEYMOON KILLERS plays another wrestler.

BELT is very low budget but the acting is fairly good especially by Baff (who had roles in THE GREAT GATSBY and ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ) and it was made before the big budgeted flop ALL THE MARBLES. Wrestling fans might want to see it for the footage of WWWF wrestlers at Madison Square Garden in the late '70's.

Besides other wrestlers like Lenny Montana and Tiger Joe Marsh the only other "actor" (beside Sweet) I recognized was TV actor Herb Voland. The Firesign Theater provided some voices. I don't know anything about the director Robert Fowler. This is based on a novel by Roselyn Drexler who's other novel Lily was also made into a movie.

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Exit Action

EXIT HUMANITY-2011-This stupid movie (from writer/director John Geddes) starts off during the Civil War where hillbilly Edward Young (Mark Gibson) learns about zombies and how to kill them. After his wife and child are infected, he cries a lot and has weird dreams and flashbacks. Some scenes are animated. Later he helps rescue Emma (Jordan Hayes)  the sister of a guy named Isaac (Adam Seybold) but they meet up with some asshole "rebels" experimenting with the living dead. Dee Wallace plays a medicine woman who helps the trio and it's discover the sister may have immunity to the zombie plague. When the bad guys kidnap the sister somehow the guy leads all the zombies to their hideout for an attack. This drawn out talky WALKING DEAD inspired horror story is based on a novel and wastes Bill Moseley and Stephan McHattie in minor roles. Somehow they got Brian Cox to narrate it.

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Reefer Saddness

A MOVABLE SCENE-1970-This very weird short examines the hippie culture and its use of drugs. It deals with rebellion, non-conforming and understanding and calls marijuana "the common denominator". The narration tries to show the viewpoint of both sides but the whole thing is kind of undone as the narrator is infamous Hollywood pot head actor Robert Mitchum (who was jailed for marijuana possession in 1949).

This was made by Scottish born director William Templeton who wrote TV episodes in America and for the BBC in England. In 1972 he made a much more serious drug expose' FLOWERS OF DARKNESS narrated by Paul Newman. Mitchum was in RYAN'S DAUGHTER the same year as this.

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Swords and Stuff

YELLOW RIVER FIGHTER-1988-In China, "a thousand years ago", 3 warlords fight for supremacy.
a great swordsman fails to protect his daughter who is killed by one of the warlords. He goes on a drunken spree and is befriended/exploited by a magician/con-artist who has him do a "drunken sword dance" but another warlord has some of his men poison the swordsman. He doesn't die but instead goes blind. Later the third warlord King Quan (who's life the swordsman saved earlier) takes in the swordsman and the con-artist. He helps the swordsman open a fighting school. Even though he seems nice he sends assassins (in cool masks) to kill the remaining warlord King Lee and his daughter Jen-Jen. After some deceitful tricks by Quan, the swordsman is forced to kill Lee (who has an awesome fighting weapon) because he thinks his daughter's dead. The final showdown takes place in a monastery during a lightening storm and on a cliff near a raging waterfall.

This historical drama (with some comedy) has great sword battles but is brought down somewhat by the con artist character's constant whining and the badly dubbed voices. Director Hsin-yen Chang also made DEADEND BESIEGERS.

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Amicus

THE PSYCHOPATH-1966-In this Amicus production (written by American Robert Bloch) a lawyer is crushed to death by a car and a doll resembling the victim his found with him. An inspector's (Patrick Wymark, in THE SKULL by the same director the year before)) investigation leads him to suspect American Donald Loftis (Canadian actor Don Borisenko) and his English girlfriend Louise (Judy Huxtable). Her father is played by Alexander Knox. Murders by poison, strangulation and acetylene torch follow. It all has to do with a doll obsessed wheel chair bound woman (Margaret Johnson) and her "Norman Bates" like son (John Standing) and her husband's suicide. Despite being almost blown up the inspector finds the real culprits. It's well directed by Oscar winning cinematographer Freddie Francis but there's a lot of talk and you know immediately who's the killer once the character is introduced. A weird freak out ending saves the whole thing!

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Eyes!

THE EYES OF ANNIE JONES-1964-In the English countryside a mill manager Geraldine Wheeler is killed (and her body hidden) in a pre-credits scene. Her Aunt Helen (Joyce Carey) hires young Annie Jones (Francesca Annis) an orphan described as a "dirty, unattractive child" to use her psychic powers to find the Carol. Carol's brother American raised David (Richard Conte)  and his wife are unconvinced but Annie does find his missing cuff link. Later David is not sure he wants his sister found as he has been embezzling money from the mill (which sis owned). Meanwhile a murderer hangs around.

It's kind of talky and simple but the short running time helps. It's based on a story by American mystery writer Henry Slesar and was the second to last film directed by (also American) Reginald Le Borg (THE BLACK SLEEP, VOODOO ISLAND).

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Hammer TV

MARK OF THE DEVIL-1984-This is an episode from the made for TV anthology HAMMER HOUSE OF MYSTERY AND SUSPENSE. An in debt gambler (Dirk Bennedict in between BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and THE A TEAM) kills tattoo artist Mr. Lee (Bert Kwouk from THE PINK PANTHER series) in a robbery attempt. Lee, who also dabbled in black magic marks him with a knife in their struggle and a little pinprick grows into a tattoo depicting the murder. No one can help him so he resorts to using a hot iron on his chest! The tattoo gets bigger and he goes crazy. Jenny Seagrove plays his rich fiancee. It's fairly predictable but alright for TV. The screenplay was written by Brian Clemens (THE AVENGERS) and is one of the last efforts by director Val Guest (THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE, WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE WORLD).

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The First 42

THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY-1950-This is a low budget biography (unlike the recent 42) of the the great African American baseball player who broke major league baseball's "color line". And Jackie Robinson plays himself!

It starts with little Jackie getting his first beat up glove, then in jr. high school breaking the high jump record (held by his brother) and later playing for the UCLA bruins. He gets drafted while his girlfriend Rae (Rudy Dee) becomes a nurse. He says "Baseball is one sport they'll never let me in". He joins the Negro league anyway and faces discrimination and almost blows his chance with the Dodgers when he thinks it's a joke! Branch Rickety (Minor Watson) recruits him and gives him the lowdown on what's going to happen. He needs a player with "the guts not to fight back". His mom (Louise Beavers) tells him to listen to God. He joins the Brooklyn farm team and is immediately ignored. His manager doesn't even consider him a human being! He takes a lot of abuse (much much worse in real life) but proves himself and wins over some bigots and makes a speech in DC.

Bernie Hamilton, Joe Devlin, Joe Kirk, Dick Wessel and Ben Welden have roles. It's a good little film hampered only by it's low budget. Director Alfred E. Green made two other Hollywood "bios": THE JOLSON STORY and THE EDDIE CANTOR STORY.

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Mixed Up...

MIXED BLOOD-1984-This movie is a hoot! It's about Brazilian street gangs fighting over the drug trade on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Most of the gang members are underage kids. If it sounds similar to the Brazilian drama PIXOTE (made in 1981) the female lead in that film Marilia Pera plays Rita La Punta, the leader of one of the gangs ("They cannot go to jail. Too young").

The story involves violence,drugs,prostitution,shootouts, racism and police corruption. All the characters talk in exaggerated accents and the dialogue is very dramatic and over the top. With lines like "I'm the one who tells you how to piss". Cheesy salsa music plays in the background.

It was filmed on location in Alphabet City by Paul Morrissey (ANDY WARHOL'S DRACULA). There are some good scenes but most of the shootouts are inept and there are some awkward reaction shots.

Some reviews cite the realism of the whole thing but to me it seems to take place on another planet! Also with Geraldine Smith who had been in BAD and FLESH  by Morrissey, Linda Kerridge (SURF ll) and John Leguizamo in his film debut.

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Brake

BRAKE-2012-A man named Jeremy (Stephen Dorff) is trapped in a glass coffin in the dark. The only light is from some red numbers counting down. Every time they hit zero something strange happens. He talks to another guy named Henry on a radio. He seems to be on a truck and moving from place to place. I like this TWILIGHT ZONE inspired suspense tale enough but I felt it's resolution and far fetched twist ending easy to figure out. Pot bellied Tom Berenger  shows up at the end. The director Gabe Torres had previously directed episodes of TV shows I never heard of.

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This Stinks

ALIEN RAIDERS-2008-A group of idiots invade a convenience store and hold several customers hostage. Their leader says they are looking for a certain individual who is infected with something. They have a "spotter" who can tell who's infected but he's killed. So instead they have to do some experiments to find the infected one (this includes cutting off fingers). Later a resurrected dead person start killing everyone. Another spotter tries to explain things but by then my brain was too numb to care. There's not one likable character in this talky, too dark science fiction tale whose typical twist ending drives home the point that this was a complete waste of time not only for the audience but for the filmmakers too! The director Ben Rock also made a fake documentary about "the Blair Witch".

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Bad Farm

ALBINO FARM-2009-Four morons (2 guys, 2 girls) are on a road trip checking out "rural America" for a school project. After meeting a dwarf scrapping roadkill off the pavement they get a flat but have no spare. In the town of Shiloh they meet some weird locals like a waitress with deformed hands and an old lady nursing a mutant baby. They hear a story about a place called The Albino Farm where it turns out cannibalistic, murderous mutants reside. One couple is killed. Something happens to the other couple but believe it or not it was so dark I didn't understand what was going on in this stupid HP Lovecraft inspired HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES rip-off! Pro-wrestler Chris Jericho is in it. And it took two directors to make it! Go figure....

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More Martial Arts

THE EIGHT ESCORTS-1979-Drama and comedy mix in this period piece Kung-Fu adventure. An "escort service" must deliver some "precious goods" to a bride to be. The "escort" owner is killed and his daughters and some martial arts cronies take over the business. It's mostly talky and boring but the violent finale is good! It features Wai-Man Chan (CHINESE HERCULES), Danny Lee (THE KILLER), Mien Fang (5 FINGERS OF DEATH) and Lily Li (SHATTER). Director Hsueh Li Pao also made BLOOD TREASURY FIGHT.

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Pre-Super Reeves

TEAR GAS SQUAD-1940-Druggist Joe McCabe (pre-Superman George Reeves) captures gangster Rocks Dawson. Joe's brother is a nightclub singer named Tommy McCabe (Dennis Morgan) who impersonates a singing cop in his act. He really doesn't like policemen but manages to win over a woman, Jerry Sullivan (Gloria Dickson) who's whole male family are police officers (Edgar Buchanan plays one of them). John Payne (MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET) is Morrissey, another policeman who becomes a rival to Tommy for Jerry's affections. McCade joins the police training school (where future Perry White John Hamilton is the police commissioner) to impress Jerry. He becomes leader of the Police Glee Club but after punching out Morrissey he's drummed out of the force. When brother Joe is killed for revenge Tommy wants back in. When Morrisey is taken hostage by a gang tear gas comes into play...sort of. Tommy rescues Morrisey and together they arrest the gang. Tear gas really doesn't have much to do with it except maybe all the songs caused a lot of gas and tears?? Who knows? It just got my attention because Reeves was in it. Mary Gordon is Jerry's mother and Frank Wilcox and Ben Weldon (a future frequent guest villain on TV's Superman) have small roles.

Lead actress Gloria Dickson had a promising career hampered by alcoholism. In 1945 she died in a house fire at age 28,

Director Terry Morse also made BRITISH INTELLIGENCE (with Karloff), FOG ISLAND and UNKNOWN WORLD. He also edited many films.

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Cowboy Musical

TERROR OF TINY TOWN-1938-Everyone's favorite little peoples western begins with a narrator addressing the audience.

Billy Curtis is the cheerful hero Buck Lawson. He battles cattle rustler Bat Haines ("Litte Billy" Rhodes), a really mean guy who's trying to cause a range war between Buck's father (John Bambury) and another rancher named Tex Preston (Billy Platt). The highlight for me are the very bizarre musical numbers but it has all the elements of a regular low budget western: shoot outs, runaway stagecoach, crooked sheriff, hired gunslingers, outrageous make-up, bad acting, chiched script. The funniest character is Tex's German cook. Buck (who sings and plays guitar) falls in love with Tex's niece (Yvonne Moray) to complicate matters. Later Haines kills Tex and Buck is blamed. He's almost lynched but Haines' neglected girlfriend (Nita Krebs) clears him. In the climax Buck and Hanes duke it out in a cabin while dynamite burns in the basement.

Some of the cast would appear in THE WIZARD OF OZ the next year.

TERROR was directed by San Newfield who typically made 15 other features in 1938!

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Jackie Chan

THE INVINCIBLE FIGHTER:THE JACKIE CHAN STORY-1996?-A narrator tells us about Jacky (Jackie) Chan (born Chan Yuen Long) becoming the new Bruce Lee, a Kung-Fu international star. The movie highlights 10 movies featuring Chan. The narrator also explains about the 18 fighting styles and weapons used. Then scenes from "CUB TIGER FROM KWANTUNG, SPIRITUAL KUNG-FU, THE FEARLESS HYENA and others (mostly directed by Wei Lo) are shown with the narrator explaining some of the action. The sub-titles have lots of mistakes and are sometimes out of sync with the action. Also a scene that's suppose to depict Chan's training is actually a scene from a movie!

Despite all that it's worth seeing for the stunts and styles especially if you're a Jackie Chan fan. I'm not sure of the year it was made or who directed. It recently came out on DVD.

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