Killer Kids

THE CHILDREN-2008-Three couples take their kids to a secluded house to celebrate Christmas.

All the kids are very young except for one couple's “misfit” teenage daughter. After a lot of boredom (for the viewer) a germ or virus turns the young tots into killers who terrorize the adults. There's lots of false scares and unintentional humor in this dumb British production but it's one of the few horror films where you actually see a kid get killed (not a plus...). 

There was a movie in the '80's with the same title and nearly the same premise. Director Tom Shankland has done mostly English TV since this.

Thanks for reading!

Amicus Anthology

TORTURE GARDEN-1967-Five people visit Dr. Diablo's Torture Garden at a carnival. After Diablo (Burgess Meridith) shows them a recreation of an electric chair execution he introduces them to a statue of Atropus, the goddess of destiny. Then he invites each of them to stare at the statue and a tale featuring them is conveyed.

In “Enoch” a neer do well (Michael Bryant) kills his old uncle (Maurice Denham) to get his hidden money but instead he comes under the supernatural influence of a cat named Bathaza! It makes him kill people so it can it their brains! He winds up beheaded in a jail cell. Niall McManus (CURSE OF THE DEMON) plays his doctor.

“Terror Over Hollywood” takes place in Tinseltown where actress Clara Hayes (Beverly Adams) becomes involved with a former matinee idol Bruce Benton (Robert Hutton) who is literally an 'immortal” star thanks to a weird surgeon who in the end makes Clara a “living doll”.

In “Mr. Steinway” a woman (Ursula Howells) falls in love with a brilliant but lonely pianist named Leo (John Standing) who's piano seems to be possessed by his dead mother. When the two become lovers the piano pushes her out a window!

In “The Man Who Collected Poe”, an American book collector Ronald Wyatt (Jack Palance) wants a rare Edgar Allan Poe book owned by English Poe collector Kanning (Peter Cushing). Kanning has quite a collection. In fact the real Poe is alive in his basement after making a deal with the devil! This has a weird “huh?” ending.

The framing sequence also has a nice twist ending involving a another patron (Michael Ripper) where after Diablo reveals his real identity (can ya guess?) to the viewing audience.

TORTURE GARDEN was the first of a series of anthology films Robert Bloch wrote for Amicus, the main rival to Hammer in the 1960's (he'd already done THE PSYCHOPATH and THE DEADLY BEES for them). The stories themselves aren't that great but they are weird enough (a cat that eats brains, a killer piano, Poe still alive). Director Freddie Francis (who worked on several other Amicus anthologies written by Bloch) keeps things moving but the acting makes up for any plot faults.

Thanks for reading!

Prison Escape

RIOT-1968-Three convicts (Jim Brown, Gene Hackman and Mike Kellin) take over the isolation unit of a (real) Arizona prison after their failed attempt at a breakout and pretend they are leading protests over the conditions and treatment of their fellow prisoners. Brown as Cully Briston is the only level headed one and he roughs up some cons who want to kill some hostages. He also has a dream that he lives in a mansion surrounded by beautiful women. Red Fraker (Hackman) is the brains behind the plan who knows of a secret tunnel which could be the key to their freedom. Later Cully gets most of the inmates drunk on homemade hooch. An American Indian named Surefoot (Ben Carruthers) causes trouble that leads to several deaths in this violent but fairly realistic prison drama. Big Jim is the only one to actually escape and according to the movie is “still at large”. Gerald S. O'Loughlin plays a mean prison guard who's beaten to death. 

Director Buzz Kulik used a real prison and inmates for this action filled but hardly remembered little flick made several years before Hackman became a star with THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971) and Brown struck blaxpolitation gold with SLAUGHTER and it's sequel. Director Kulik worked primarily in TV (since the early '50's; he directed at least 9 TWILIGHT ZONE episodes) but around this time made several features. He later made many well known TV movies (BRIAN'S SONG, BAD RONALD, FROM HERE TO ENTERNITY mini-series). 

RIOT is based a novel by Frank Elli and screenwriter James Poe also penned THE SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY the same year. At the time he was married to Barbara Steele.

That was too long! Thanks for reading!

Vigilante

VIGILANTE-1983-After his child is killed and his wife brutally beaten by a crazy street gang iron worker Eddie Moreno (Robert Forster) tries to seek justice through the court system but a stupid judge and a crooked lawyer (Joe Spinell) let off the one gang member on trial. Eddie goes bonkers in the courtroom and somehow winds up doing 30 days in the state penitentiary. Meanwhile Nick (bearded Fred Williamson) fights crime crime in his own way leading a vigilante force that beats up drug dealers and muggers. While in prison Eddie befriends Rake (Woody Strode) who helps him beat up some guys while he's taking a shower (did we really need a shot of Forster's naked ass?). The force beats up Horace the pimp and when Eddie gets out he joins the illegal crime fighters and kills the gang member who got off (Nick shoots the whore he was with) and then kills the gang member who actually killed his son. He even blows up the judge!

Bronx born Willam Lustig (MANIAC) directed this mean, depressing and violent exploitation movie (vigilantism themed movies were quite popular in the '80's) which also features Carol Lynley in a small role as Eddie's lawyer and Steve James as a cop. A few years later Lustig was back with MANIAC COP and its sequels.

Thanks for reading!  

Mr. Moto Returns Again

MR. MOTO'S GAMBLE-1938-The intrepid Japanese detective (Peter Lorre) investigates the in ring death of a boxer. He gets assistance from pickpocket Knockout Wellington (“Slapsie” Maxie Rosenbloom) and Lee Chan (Keye Luke), Charlie Chan's number 1 son! The chief suspect is gangster Nick Crowder (Douglas Fowley) who's main henchman Joey is played by pre-Wolf Man Lon Chaney Jr. Ward Bond is Moran, the world champion. Poison seems to be the culprit but who did it? As usual Moto plays his cards close to his vest seeming almost as though he were a suspect too. Lynn Bari and John Hamilton are also featured.

The unusual presence of Lee Chan isn't so odd when you know that MR. MOTO'S GAMBLE (the third entry into the series) actually started out life as an entry in another (phony) Asian detective series at 20^th Century Fox, CHARLIE CHAN AT RINGSIDE. But illness forced star Warner Oland to drop out (he suffered from alcoholism and was involved in a messy divorce at the time). The filmed footage was scrapped but the script was later reworked with Lee being a student in one of Moto's crime classes.

Director James Tinling spend most of his time making low budget films and ended his career with some early TV work. Three years before GAMBLE he made CHARLIE CHAN IN SHANGHAI. GAMBLE is just a so-so detective murder mystery with too much comedy but Lorre is always interesting to watch.

Thanks for reading!

Disco Comedy

RECORD CITY-1977-Stupid comedy relic from the '70's about an amateur music contest revolving around the local characters working and hanging out at the title place, a discount record store run by arrogant, disco look manager Eddie (Michael Callan). 

A young clerk named Danny (Dennis Bowen) plans to enter the contest. He's sweet on Lorraine (Wendy Schaal) another employee. Tim Thomerson (who gets kicked in the groin several times) and Ted Lange also work there but there are a whole bunch of smaller roles by people like Alice Ghostley and Leonard Barr as an old couple. Larry Storch as a deaf guy. Sorrell Brooks is a cop who gets his foot stuck in a toilet bowl. Ed Begley Jr. is a robber. Ruth Buzzi is a washerwoman. Alan Oppenhiemer is a blind man in a scene obviously “inspired” by IT'S A GIFT while other slapstick stunts seem to be based on the 3 Stooges! Jack Carter is the owner of the whole store (he winds up wearing female underwear) who owes money to a mobster who's bodyguard is played Harold Sakata (dressed like Oddjob)! To top it all off Rick Dees (who had the number # 1 hit “Disco Duck” in '76) shows up as a DJ called “Gorilla Man”. The song he does shows why Disco died. Prop comedian Gallagher is there too being unfunny. 

And then Frank Gorshin shows up as a criminal called “The Chameleon” who dresses as a nun in the dumb finale! This seems to be the only feature film directed by Dennis Steinmetz who previous to this directed episodes of THE LAND OF THE LOST. It was written by someone named Ron Friedman that may explain the appearance of Kinky Friedman playing himself.

Thanks for reading!

Michael Shayne

MICHAEL SHAYNE, PRIVATE DETECTIVE-Lloyd Nolan plays the title role, a wisecracking down on his luck PI who's hired by a rich client (Clarence Klob) to watch over his gambling obsessed daughter Phyllis (Marjorie Weaver) while he's away. A police chief (Edward MacBride) tries to pin the murder of Harry Grange (George Meeker) on Shayne as he was shot with the detective's own gun. Later after pretending to be a doctor Shayne and Phyllis team up with her old aunt Olivia (Elizabeth Patterson) to solve the murder. A horse racing fix and the disappearance of the daughter of a casino owner (Douglas Dumbrille) figure into it. This murder mystery (based on the novel “The Private Practice of Michael Shayne” by Brett Halliday) with comic overtones is a little too routine and talky but the characters and acting make it enjoyable. It's the first of seven 20^th Century Fox productions all starring Lloyd Nolan as the flippant gumshoe. Four more lower budgeted entries were later produced by PRC (with Hugh Beaumont in the lead). The Shayne character was on radio and later in a short lived TV series (starring Richard Denning).

Director Eugene Forde had directed several Warner Oland/Charlie Chan mysteries.

Thanks for reading!

Pierce

THE WINDS OF AUTUMN-1976-In 1844 Montana, a deranged hillbilly woman (Jeanette Nolan) helps her equally deranged son escape from a chain gang with the help of her brother (Jack Elam) and some other sons (including Andrew Prine). After the break out, they hold up at the home of a Quaker family where sonny boy shows why he should have remained in jail as he kills the couple's  young daughter. Then mom and dad are killed. Only the young son Joel (Chuck Pierce Jr.; son of the director) survives. He gets a mule and a shotgun and follows the demented family. Along the way he meets Rattler (Dub Taylor) who dispenses some advice. Later the brothers rob a whorehouse (a long and useless sub-plot). Although blood thirsty the family is kind of dumb. After nearly freezing to death and being captured by what remains of the family, Joel sort of gets revenge with the help of a family friend. According to the credits the whores were supplied by Playboy Inc. (although one of them is played by TTCSM's Marilyn Burns).

This strange violent western with a kid hero was directed by Charles B. Pierce (he has a small role) who made THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK just a few years before. He directed THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN in 1976 also.

Thanks for reading!

More Weissmuller

JUNGLE MOON MEN-1955-Johnny Weissmuller plays Johnny Weissmuller who bares a strong resemblance to Jungle Jim in this low budget adventure (it's because the studio lost the rights to the JJ character). He helps a woman writer (Jean Bryon) try and find the source of life but instead runs into a tribe of “little men” (lead by Billy Curtis). Myron Healey is a trouble making guide looking for diamonds. The small safari captures the little leader and ties him to a tree. At night the rest of the tribe (Angelo Rossetto is there) disguises themselves as trees to save their leader. They also kidnap Bryon's macho boyfriend Bob (Bill Henry) and tie him to a tree. It turns out the tribe is working for “the moon goddess Oma (Helen Stanton from THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES the same year)) a blond haired white woman with ties to ancient Egypt! She wants to make Bob her high priest. In the end runaway lions ruin her empire and “Ra, the sun god” turns Oma into dust. 

This typical Sam Katzman Columbia production seems to choose the most un-African sets it can find (this was filmed on stuntman Crash Corrigan's ranch). JUNGLE MOON MEN is one of only a handful of movies Charles S. Gould directed as he was a busy assistant or second unit director.

Thanks for reading!  

Bungle With Jungle Jim

JUNGLE MANHUNT-1951-In a strange African jungle where all the natives look like a combination of American Indians and Polynesians, a happy tribe is attacked and their village burned down by another tribe lead by some guys in skeleton costumes. The chief however is shot by a mysterious white gunman. We then learn this is another entry in the “Jungle Jim” series of low budget films, because Jim (Johnny Weissmuller) is watching some boat men while his annoying pet chimp Tamba fishes. In a flash Jim is in the water to save a lady reporter Ann Lawrence (Sheila Ryan) when her boat overturns. She looking for a missing quarterback/war hero Bob Miller who disappeared into the jungle years before. Jim and Ann investigate with the help of Bono (Rick Vallin), a local chieftain. After escaping when another village is attacked the trio meets the elusive Miller (real life football player Bob Waterfield) who throws a loaded football at the bad guys! It seems Miller is now leading a tribe himself so they go deeper into the jungle and encounter stock footage giant lizards (from 2 MILLION YEARS BC). Later we learn that the evil tribe is run by bad white guy Dr. Heller (Lyle Talbott) who's using kidnapped natives as slave labor to dig up igneous rock to make phony diamonds. 

This Sam Katzman production is just another typical episode in this now very formulaic series. It was directed with speed by Lew Landers and unfortunate to say but it only clocks in at 66 minutes yet seems much longer!

Thanks for reading!