Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Battle of the Century...Would you Believe the Week?

 

 (videospace)

ZOMBIE VS NINJA-1989-Korean kung fu movie turned into a comedy by Charles Lee aka Godfrey Ho. Part of the original story has to do with a bad guy named Titus who runs a village where a young man works with a stupid undertaker. Ho regular Pierre Kirby (in his second to last role) shows up occasionally as a brightly clad ninja in added footage.

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Robo-Ho

 

 (imdb)
 

ROBO VAMPIRE-1988-This crazy paste up job of a movie seems to concern a gang's search for a cache of drugs plus hopping vampires controlled by a monk. A group of mercenaries goes into the jungle to rescue a kidnapped narcotics agent. 

Meanwhile a "Robo-Cop" type fighter (Harry Miles) roams around killing bad guys. The whole thing is a confused mess with Robo-Clone battling a monstrous hopping vampire in the too long finale. 

This Hong Kong production was of course directed and written by “the king of chaotic movies” Godfrey Ho. Some sources say it also uses footage from another movie (not an uncommon move by Ho).

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Paste Up Ultraman

 


SPACE WARRIORS 2000-1985-A father returns from a trip and gives his son an Ultraman toy. Then an old toy maker and his wife argue over her having sold the Ultraman toy. It turns out "the toy" is actually the real Ultraman and the boy is recruited to help fight evil. Many Ultramen appear in this movie mess basically because all the scenes of U fighting monsters are taken from three previously made movies: "Ultraman Story", "Hanuman vs. 7 Ultramen" (which was a co-production between Japan & Thailand) and "Ultraman Zoffy" which was made in Thailand without approval. When Japan found out, they sued to stop it's release. 

This was put together by Thai honcho Stephen Minasia and American Dick Randall for US TV where it played a few times then disappeared. The inane stock music, silly dubbed voices (the monsters even talk) and stupid jokes are flatter than piss on a plate. Your best bet is to turn off the sound and add your own soundtrack.

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Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Laserblast

 

 (wkipedia)

LASERBLAST-1978-Two lizard like (Dave Allen animated) aliens chase a green faced guy in the California desert. He has some kind of ray gun device on his arm that they want. After the credits, Billy (Kim Milford) is harassed by some hick pot smoking cops. Then he tries to visit his girlfriend Kathy (Cheryl Smith) but has an argument with her senile shell shocked grandpa The Colonel (Keenan Wynn). Worse of all, he's insulted by Eddie Deezen! Riding in the desert he finds the ray gun the aliens were after. A guy named Craig (Gianni Rossi) snoops around. A doctor (Roddy McDowall) examines Billy and is later killed. The lizard aliens get reprimanded by their boss. There's a dumb sheriff (Ron Masak) too. Billy turns into a green faced maniac and destroys a plane, a car, a hippie and some buildings. Before he can really do any destruction the aliens kill him and take the weapon leaving Kathy to mourn his passing. 

This low budget Charles Band Sci-Fi romp was directed by Michael Rae who did various work on other movies and may have directed one other movie (2005's ALIENS GONE WILD). 

LASERBLAST has become somewhat of a cult film, known for one scene where Billy blasts a STAR WARS billboard. Star Kim Milford was “Rocky” in the original stage production of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. He made other stage and film appearances but tragically died at age 37 after heart surgery in 1988. Lead actress Cheryl Smith, who died in 2007 at the age of 47 also appear in Cheech & Chong's UP IN SMOKE the same year.

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Nocturna

 


NOCTURNA: GRANDDAUGHTER OF DRACULA-1979-Count Dracula (John Carradine), now for some reason very old with fang dentures runs " Hotel Transylvania" to pay his taxes. He says things like "If I'm dead why do I have to wee wee". The desk clerk Theodore (Brother Theodore) is a werewolf who has the hots for the count's granddaughter Nocturna (Nai Bonet) who gives her father a cup of blood and dances with Jimmy (Antony Hamilton), a guy from a rock band who dances like a chicken having a spasm (and has a weird accent). After they have sex, Nocturna takes a nude bubble bath and thinks "I am a vampire. I have no reflection" while Theodore peeps. Later she tells her granddad she's fallen in love with Jimmy and is leaving for New York with him. She's invited (by Yvonne DeCarlo) to a meeting of the BSA (Blood Drinkers of America) moderated by a guy with a Boris Karloff type voice. They discuss the fate of the urban vampire. A pimp looking drug dealer RH Factor (Sy Richardson) offers blood that can be snorted like coke. "I'd rather suck than sort!". When a cop discovers the meeting, they all turn into bats and fly away. There's a long, time wasting disco dance scene and Nocturna and Jimmy smoke a joint. She tells him who she really is and turns into a bat. He thinks it's an hallucination because he's high. The count and Theodore go after her. 

This disco horror film is a terrible vanity production by star Bonet who was executive producer and provided the story. Her acting and the inane dialogue are the low points. Theodore is funny though in his over the top performance ("death to the happy"). 

Director Harry Hurwitz (using the name Harry Tampa) had made the adults only FAIRY TALES (with Bonet & Richardson) the year before. His first film had been THE PROJECTIONIST (with Chuck McCann) in 1970. Years later he made SAFARI 3000 with Christopher Lee and David Carradine). Former Hollywood scarlet (and TV's Lily Munster) DeCarlo was also in GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED and THE SILENT SCREAM the same year.

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Monday, November 28, 2022

Part 2

 

 (imdb)

SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD-2: ULTIMATE POWER-2007-Not nearly as entertaining as part one, as there is a long back story for the first hour (including a short animated story) which is rather disorienting since part one ended so abruptly. It tells the origins of how White (Gordon Liu) and Hak become brothers. Hak has a poison in his body that makes him bad. Their dad (Siu-Ming Lao) also has poison in his body and before he dies he hands everything over to White (he feels Hak is too mean). Great long fight finale, swordplay and a legion of hopping vampires. Director Douglas Kung also ends this one rather abruptly. 

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Hopping

 

 (imdb)

SHAOLIN VS EVIL DEAD-2004-Pak aka Brother White (Gordon Liu), a priest and his two apprentices, Yat (Jacy Woo) and a young kid fight zombies while taking some hopping dead men to their rest. The trio also encounter the priest's brother Hak aka Brother Black (Siu-Wong Fan) who's more violent than the priest. Things slow down a little when Yat tries to romance Hak's female apprentice Moon (Shannon Yoh). Later Hak creates a small army of possessed little kids who battle a bunch of Shaolin monk kids. After that a demon that was inside Pak's kid apprentice comes to life (he gets out when the kid takes a shit). He's a child they name Little Egg and keeps calling the kid "mamma". 

This crazy entertaining kung-fu zombie fantasy ends very abruptly but there was a sequel. Director Douglas Kung (UNDISCOVERED TOMB) was also a stunt choreographer and made a sequel SHAOLIN VS. EVIL DEAD: ULTIMATE POWER.

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Sunday, November 27, 2022

Made For TV Beast

 

 (imdb)


THE BEAST FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME-1965-A rude, grouchy egotistical archaeologist Prof. Morey and his long suffering assistant Randall discover a 60 thousand year old being, a kind of caveman, buried in the Earth. Morey wants to keep the discovery secret from the University that sponsored the dig and exhibit the find himself for money. He comes up with an elaborate plan to trick the university head and blackmails his assistant to help but a local hick, Henderson horns in. The next day they discover Henderson impaled with a shovel and Randall in shock ranting that they have to rebury their find. The caveman is taken away and just like that Randall is convicted of Henderson's murder. Later the caveman rises again and kills Morey and a night watchman. Dr. Paul and student Charlie search for the creature which is skinny semi-hairy with a deformed face. When somehow Charlie's girlfriend gets involved poor Charlie is impaled by a dinosaur bone. 

This low budget local production was made in Witchita, Kansas by TV station KARD and shown around Halloween in 1965. It was rebroadcast once in 1981. A couple of actors were kids' TV hosts. The acting is terrible but I was surprised at the bloody corpses and severed arm. The director Tom Leahy was a TV horror host known as “The Host”.

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Donovan

 

 (youtube)

THERE IS AN OCEAN-1970-This is a short film documentary about singer Donovan as he rehearses in Greece with his "Open Road" band (John Carr & Mike Thompson) preparing for a world tour. They visit several islands including Crete and give some impromptu concerts. They live on Donovan's yacht. At one point they perform "Riki Tiki Tivi" from their only album together but the rest of the songs hadn't yet been on any albums. Only released in 2005. Director Nigel Lesmoir-Gordon was known for a short film he made in 1966 called SYD BARRET'S FIRST TRIP.

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Biker Werewolves

 


WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS-1971-Biker gang scum (including “Eve of Descruction” singer Barry McGuire and “Father Knows Best” co-star Billy Gray) run afoul of a group of Satanists led by One (Severn Darden). After the gang is drugged the Satanists perform an elaborate ritual where a woman dances with a snake and a cat is sacrificed. The bikers break up the ritual and drive away. When they are frolicking in the woods that night a werewolf shows up and kills two of them. One of the gang is really a werewolf. The scenes are too dark, there's too much talk, the ending is stupid and there aren't any werewolves on wheels! 

Director Michael Levelesque started out doing production design for Roger Corman and made only one more feature length film SWEET SUGAR the next year. He was also was an art director on many TV shows and several Russ Meyer films. He died in 2010.

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Saturday, November 26, 2022

Russians in Space

 

 (imdb)

BATTLE BEYOND THE SUN-1959-A narrator tells us about the US's big plans for colonizing the moon and beyond. Toy models are shown. In the year 1997, after the "great atomic war", the Earth is divided into "The North Hemis" and "The South Hemis". In the South Dr. Gordon and his wife Ruth head a project called "Red Planet". It's mission is to land a spaceship on Mars. According to rumors, the North is also working on such a trip. After the Mars team lands on a space station where the rocket ship will be launched, they get a distress call from a Northern Hemis ship asking if they can land and make repairs. Permission is granted. At dinner the south announces their intentions of going to Mars. This upsets the North pilots as this was their mission too. Against orders the North decide to go to Mars first. Taking off they injure one of the cosmonauts, I mean a South astronauts. Later the arrogant, self assured and reckless US astronauts, I mean the North astronauts have their rocket ship destroyed by the sun. The south doesn't quite make it to Mars and they are attacked by monsters. Despite the failure the four man crew return safely as heroes. 

This movie was actually a USSR produced film entitled NEBO ZOVYOT and has two directors. The US version had a third. Roger Corman bought the film and had Francis Ford Coppola (and Jack Hill) re-edit and dub it into English removing all the Anti-American propaganda and the two competing countries into “hemis”. Coppola also added the scenes with the space monsters.

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Gorgo

 

 (wikipedia)

GORGO-1961-Two guys Ryan (Bill Travers; later in BORN FREE) & Slade (William Sylvester; later in DEVIL DOLL) heading a cargo ship discover a prehistoric lizard monster off the Irish coast. They bring it back to London where promoter Dorkin (Martin Benson) exhibits him/it. Some scientists determine that Gorgo is not full grown and a parent could be on the prowl. Sure enough Mama comes looking for her baby, destroying most of London in the process (including Big Ben). 

There's basically no women in this movie! 

Director Eugene Lourie was no stranger to giant monster having directed both THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS and THE GIANT BEHEMOTH. Interesting UK production with an unusual ending.

Night of the Living Head

 

 (imdb)

LA CABEZA VIVIENTE-1963-In the year 1525 in Mexico, Aztecs worship the head of a great warrior. Acatl. They hide the head in a secret tomb along with a priest Xihu (Guillero Cramer) and a princess Xochiquati (Ana Luisa Peluffo) (who they seem to blame for Acatl's demise) to watch over it. In 1963 Prof. Muller (German Robles) discovers the head and opens a stone coffin to find the well preserved body of the priest. When Muller removes a mask from the head it opens its eyes. (No one in his party sees it) They take the head and the mummy like priest back to their lab. Muller's daughter Marta (also Peluffo) is there and she discovers one of the archaeologists dead with his heart cut out. Police inspector Toledo (Producer Abel Salazar) investigates. It seems the head can control the dead priest and has him/it kill the defilers of his tomb.

 Considering there's a reanimated severed head and a fairly scary warrior mummy this isn't that good with a climax that goes on way too long. Director Chano Urueta made his first movie in 1928! After this he made several “Blue Demon” wrestling movies.

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Friday, November 25, 2022

Hey Moe!

 

 (imdb)

BATTLE OF BLOOD ISLAND-1960-During WW2, Moe (Richard Devon) and Ken (Ron Gans) are the only survivors of the army's assault on Blood Island. Ken is badly wounded and moans a lot. They try and survive while avoiding the Japanese camp nearby. They gradually grow on each others nerves. Basically this is a 2 person drama which is a little talky for me but succeeds despite it's low budget constraints. 

Executive producer Roger Corman appears as a soldier at the end. It's based on story by Phillip Roth called “Expect The Vandals”. Director Paul Rapp made only one of other movie HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT in 1959. Star Richard Devon, a Corman veteran was a busy TV actor at the time. Co-Star Ron Gans became a voice actor.

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Lucha Libre vs. Monsters

 

 (imdb)

SANTO & BLUE DEMON VS. THE MONSTERS-1970-After Santo (playing himself) watches a women's wrestling match, he watches his friend Blue Demon in tag team action. Later it's announced that a famous scientist Dr. Bruno Haulder (Carlos Ancira) who once brought a dead person back to life with a brain transplant has died. His brother refuses to answer questions about his experiments when his daughter Gloria (Hedy Blue) asks. Gloria also happens to be Santo's main squeeze. The dead doctor's body is taken from his tomb by some green faced ghouls. While driving in his snazzy sports car Blue Demon (also playing himself) sees the ghouls taking the corpse to a castle. He investigates and finds a hunchback dwarf  Waldo (Santanon) reviving the dead doctor. BD is captured and duplicated. An evil Blue Demon attacks Santo & Gloria with the green faced gang. Gloria is kidnapped and Santo tossed down a mountain side. He survives and rescues Gloria but it's apparent Doc Haulder is alive and up to no good. With Bad Demon and Waldo's help Haulder resurrects an army of classic monsters. A vampire with big ears, a wolfman with huge fangs, the Frankenstein monster, a skinny mummy and a cartoon Cyclops. They are all kind of wimpy and Santo, Gloria and her father hold off their attack when the gang invade their house. After that fails, the vampire puts on a mask and challenges Santo to a wrestling match which he accepts. When that doesn't work out either the fake Blue Demon and the monsters storm the ring! Later the vampire makes some female vampires attack Santo, who beats up the monsters and escapes. Since they only come out at night he advises Gloria and her dad to sleep in the daytime and go to crowded places at night. At a restaurant the monsters finally overpower Santo and capture Gloria & dad. Frankenstein drives the getaway car! Santo tracks them down, frees the real Blue Demon and they destroy the lab while Haulder and Waldo cower. After freeing Gloria and dad, they put stakes in the vampires. What happened to the evil doc and Waldo isn't explained. 

Director Gilberto Martinez Solares much earlier had directed scenes with Lon Chaney in FACE OF THE SCREAMING WEREWOLF. Little person Santanon was later in 2 of Boris Karloff's Mexican horror films ISLE OF THE SNAKE PEOPLE and FEAR CHAMBER.

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Thursday, November 24, 2022

The One and Only

 

 (imdb)

THE GOLDEN BAT (Ogon batto)-1966-Akira (Wataru Yamagawa), a young guy who likes astronomy tells some scientists in an observatory that the planet Icarus is going to collide with the Earth. They don't believe him. He's contacted by a secret organization hidden in "the Japan Alps", who monitor abnormalities on Earth, to help destroy Icarus before it strikes Earth. Unbeknownst to them is that Nazo (Koji Sekiyama), an evil alien who sort of resembles a muppet rabbit has send Icarus at the Earth. Meanwhile a “super destruction beam cannon” is developed by Dr. Yamatone (Shinichi “Sonny” Chiba) and Prof. Pearl (Andrew Hughes; also in DESTROY ALL MONSTERS). When one of the organization's ships mysteriously disappears the group all put on shiny suits (including Pearl's young granddaughter) and board super car #2 to investigate an uncharted island which turns out to be a submerged portion of Atlantis. . 

When they are attacked by Nazo's alien henchmen the group hides in a cave where they discover a sarcophagus of "The Golden Bat". When they pour water on his stomach he comes to life and proclaims himself "the protector of justice". He vanquishes the attacking aliens and helps the group escape. When Nazo finds out about the super destruction beam cannon he sends disfigured Keloid (Yoichi Numata), female Piranha (Keiko Kuni) and wolf like Jackal (Keiichi Kitagawa) to destroy it. They invade the organization headquarters and The Golden Bat, who has a skull face, a cape and a baton and laughs just as maniacally as bad guy Nazo, shows up to help but Prof. Pearl is kidnapped and the cannon stolen. Piranha takes over the body of Noami, one of the crew. Later Keloid is transformed into Pearl. GB invades the base and takes back the beam just in time to destroy Icarus before it hits. 

The Ogon Batto character was created in 1931 and is now generally considered the first comic book superhero. He kind of reminded me of Dr. Phibes! Although an Anime series was produced in 1967, this is the only feature film made featuring the character. Director Hajime Sato later made GOKE, BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL.

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Merry?

 


TREEVENGE-2008-Anti-Christmas short disguised as a horror comedy tries to show that Christmas is only a holiday for white redneck assholes and dysfunctional families. It's told from the viewpoint of the trees who even have their own language shown in sub-titles. The story turns into a gore film when the trees revolt and kill the townspeople (including a baby). 

The director Jason Eisener, needs mental help but will probably be making more juvenile gore nonsense on a larger scale soon. Lucio Fulci did it better....

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Thankful I'm Still Here!

 

 (wikipedia)

HELL SQUAD-1958-Very low budget WW2 drama about a squad of soldiers in Tunisia (actually filmed in California) who encounter death, minefields and German soldiers in disguise. It was the debut for writer/producer/director Bert Topper. Wally Campos who was in Monte Hellman's THE BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE the next year is the star.

Thanks for reading and Happy Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Sign The Book

 

 (imdb)

THE UNDEAD-1957-After a sinister intro by The Devil (Richard Devon), a weird guy named Quintas Ratcliff (Val Dufour) returns from Tibet to confront his former teacher with his regression experiments. Quintas regresses hooker Diana (Pamela Duncan) to a past life in some medieval time when persecution of witches was trending. She finds herself a condemned witch named Elaine, locked in a dungeon awaiting execution. She escapes but is accidentally locked in a coffin (with a corpse played by Paul Blaisdell) by feeble gravedigger Smolen (Mel Welles). Meanwhile Pendragon (Richard Garland) searches for proof of Elaine's innocence. A woman named Livia (Allison Hayes) pretends to care but is really a witch with imp companion (Bobby Barty) who's after Pendragon's heart. 

(Metaphorically speaking…).

 After Smolen frees Elaine from the coffin she meets Maud (Dorothy Neumann), a kind of witch who hides Elaine and tells Pendragon. Maud then challenges Livia. Bruno VeSota plays a pub owner who's decapitated. When Quintas realizes he's changed the past he goes back to try and fix things up. Livia convinces Pendragon the only way to help Elaine is to make a pact with the devil but Qunitas now a knight who somehow the devil knows dissuades Pendragon from signing. But if Elaine doesn't die by dawn all her future lives will cease to be. Will she submit to the executioner's axe? And what of Quintas? Will he make it back to the present? Dick Miller appears in one scene as a leper. 

This is a great low budget AIP production directed of course by Roger Corman with a lot of flair and imagination. There's some nice SFX and spooky settings. Screenwriters Charles Griffin and Mark Hanna also collaborated on Corman's best sci-fi/horror film NOT OF THIS EARTH the same year. Corman also made ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS in '57, written by Griffin and and starring Garland and Duncan.

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Brains!

 

 (The Criterion Collection)

FIEND WITHOUT A FACE-1958-Strange murders occur on and around a US Air Force Base in Canada. Victims have their brains and spinal cords "sucked out". Locals think the cause is the base's radar experiments with atomic energy. Major Cummings (Marshall Thompson) must find the real reason which leads to Prof. Walgate (Kynaston Reeves) and his strange mind experiments. Cummings shows interest in Walgate's assistant Barbara (Kim Parker) but she blames him for everything. In a flashback the professor explains how he created an invisible "thing", a mental vampire. When the power plant is accidentally turned up the creatures become visible brains with long spinal cords. This has an excellent climax and good SFX (some of them rather gruesome for the time). 

Director Arthur Crabtree later made HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM. Screenwriter Herbert J. Leder later made THE FROZEN DEAD. According to star Thompson, he finished directing the film when Crabtree left the production before it was finished. It's based on the short story “The Thought Monster” by Amelia Reynolds Long.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Werewolf vs. Frankenstein

 

 (imdb)

HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER-1958-On the movie set of "Werewolf Meets Frankenstein", make-up man Pete Dumond (Robert H. Harris) is regarded as a legend. He's made up Larry the werewolf (Gary Clarke) and Tony the monster (Gary Conway) for director Martin Brace (Thomas B Henry). However the "new regime" doesn't like monsters and they fire Pete and his assistant Rivero (Paul Brinegar). To get revenge Pete uses a special compound in his make-up to make the actors do his bidding. The monster actors kill the two executives. Pete himself even puts on some scary make-up to kill a nosy studio guard. John Ashley (as himself) shows up to croon a number. Robert Shayne has one scene as Larry's angry agent. Police Captain Hancock (Morris Ankrum) investigates. Malcolm Atterbury is a security guard. After the picture is finished and Pete is ready to leave, he invites the boys to his house to meet "his children", props and masks he made for his movies (including real AIP monsters from IT CONQUERED THE WORLD, INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN and THE SHE CREATURE). Pete really loses it at the end. It seems he wants the actual heads of the young actors! A fire starts and destroys his collection ("I must save my children") The finale is in color. 

Herman Cohen (he also wrote the screenplay and has a cameo as a projectionist) produced this through AIP with Samuel Arkoff and Jack Nicholsen as the executive producers. The same year director Herbert L. Strock worked on “The Veil” series starring Boris Karloff.

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Tobor Pilot

 

 (wikipedia)

TOBOR AND THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE-1957- Professor Adams (Arthur Space), Steve (Bruce Cowling) and Talbot (Allen Reynolds) search for clues of a missing submarine. Also present are Adams' young nephew Tommy (Tommy Terrell) and the robot Tobor who Tommy can control by ESP. The adults send Tobor on a mission to the sub after they locate it. Unfortunately Tommy gets locked in the rocket they're using to send Tobor there. After some control trouble Tobor finds a bomb and throws it overboard. Later the sub is picked up by a pirate named Morgan (Gavin Gordon) and his war criminal scientist buddy Ohm (Franz Roehn). Tobor dispatches the whole crew and saves the day. 

Kind of juvenile little science fiction TV pilot for "Here Comes Tobor", a failed spin-off of the 1956 movie. It seems like it could have influenced future anime series. Director Duke Goldstone had once been an associate of George Pal, working on the "Puppetoons" series and DESTINATION MOON.

They should have made a horror movie where the robot meets Dracula. They could have called it "Tobor vs. Alucard.

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Monday, November 14, 2022

Quadead

 


TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE-1987-An African American woman (Shirley Jones from the same director's BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL) reads stories from the title book to her dead invisible ghost (?) son. In the first tale, “Food For ?”, a white hillbilly family has only enough food for four people and there are 8 of them. It's an "every man for himself" dive for food. Eventually a guy in overalls kills 3 of them. Later there's not enough food for 5 of them. 

In the second, “The Brothers”, 2 guys steal a corpse from funeral home for the dead guy's brother. He planned on killing his now dead bro because he stole the guy's wife and she killed herself after bro spend all their inheritance. He rants "What a terrible childhood I had". Since he couldn't enact the murder he dresses bro up in a clown costume and laughs a lot. Dead bro's spirit (?) enters the clowny body and kills living bro with a pitchfork. Just when mom is going to read another story dad Daryl comes by and beats her with the book. They have a kind of violent fight until she stabs him (this scene goes on for a while). 

TALES of course was the brainchild of producer/director/writer Chester N. Turner, once more working his camcorder magic, in this follow up to his previous insanity, the aforementioned BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL. 

TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE IS cheap and shoddy beyond belief but it's so crazy, it really has to be seen to be believed. For years it was believed do it all Turner was killed in a car accident but that was untrue. He is among the living and has threatened to make sequels to both his movies. This has not happened at the time of this writing as far as I know.

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Sunday, November 13, 2022

Short Shadow

 

 (the movie database)

SHADOW HOUSE-1973-Marie (Joanna Phillips) and Lou (John Fiedler) return to a decrepit mansion where they once killed Lou's uncle (John Carradine). They are looking for his hidden money but wind up victims of "Madame Guillotine". This moody atmospheric short (less than 12 minutes) was written and designed by comic book artist Jim Steranko. 

Director Ken Dixon later made THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRUSOE and SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY.

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Thursday, November 10, 2022

Sucker

 


BLOODSUCKERS-(INCENSE FOR THE DAMNED)-1971-Tony Seymour (Alex Davion) hears stories about some odd behavior of his friend Richard Fountain (Patrick Mower) in Greece. He visits Richard's fiance Penelope (Madeline Hinde) and her bug up his ass father (Peter Cushing). Tony goes to Greece to investigate accompanied by Richard's friend Bob (Johnny Sekka). Through foreign secretary Derek (Patrick Macnee), Tony finds out Richard is living the life of a jet setter and has a girlfriend Chriseis (Imogen Hassell). People dance on a beach, smoke dope and have sex. An over long psychedelic orgy ends with a woman being stabbed to death. Later Bob gets beat up by some thugs sent by an old woman (who believed Richard killed her daughter) to kill Penelope. It seems murders occurred in other places Richard was visiting. Tony and Bob, along with Derek go to an abandoned fort and rescue Richard but he's in a trance put on by his girlfriend who turns out to be some blood drinking vampire. After Derek falls to his death, Chriseis is also killed running away from Bob. He and Tony take Richard back to England and consult Dr. Holstrom (Edward Woodward). At a big college banquet Richard gives a speech denouncing everyone (especially his future father in law) and thanks the gods. Later he kills Penelope and drinks her blood. He and Bob have a roof top chase until Richard throws himself off the roof and is impaled. This says that vampirism is a product of sexual dysfunction (as “Doctors Wear Scarlet” by Simon Raven, the book it's based on did) but at the end Bob uses some stakes just in case.

 BLOODSUCKERS was directed by Robert Hartford-Davies who had already made the sleazy CORRUPTION with Peter Cushing. He later came to the US and made two “blaxploitation” movies THE TAKE and BLACK GUNN. At one point during filming they ran out of money and the production was closed down. When additional financing was found new scenes with new actors were added. Director Hartford-Davies later “disowned” the final result.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Scissors and Stone

 

 (imdb)

SCISSORS-1991-Weird tale about a repressed young woman Angie (Sharon Stone) who makes dolls. After she stabs a would-be rapist, her psychiatrist Dr. Carter (Ronny Cox) tells her she's hiding a repressed memory from her childhood. Her suspicious acting neighbor Alex (Steve Railsback) tries to help her. He has a wheelchair bound painter twin brother (also Railsback) who's only pretending to be a cripple. After another encounter in a movie theater and almost having sex with Alex, Angie becomes trapped in a high rise apartment. From things in the apartment including a myna bird and a corpse it's obvious it's someone's plot to drive her crazy. Meanwhile the brothers argue over where she is. It turns out it's a plan by her insane cuckold shrink to kill his wife's (Michelle Phillips) lover. Although Angie appears to lose her mind she turns the tables on the shrink and meets up with Alex. 

This was the only theatrical full length movie director Frank De Felitta made. As a screenwriter he adapted both his novels “Audrey Rose” and “The Entity” to the big screen and also wrote George C. Scott's controversial THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE (1974). He also directed an above average made for TV horror film NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981). 

SCISSORS is based on a short story that was first done on an anthology show in the 1950's and directed by Ida Lupino.

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Monday, November 7, 2022

Klaus The Shrink

 

 (imdb)

SCHIZOID-1980-Julie (Mariana Hill; THE BABY), an advice columnist, receives threatening letters. Her hot headed ex-husband (Craig Wasson) is also her editor. She belongs to a therapy group run by a weird perverse psychiatrist Peter (Klaus Kinski). Someone is killing the patients in the group with a pair of scissors. Peter has trouble with his weird daughter Alison (Donna Wilkes; future star of ANGEL) who has a gun and rants to dad about her mother when Julie is invited to dinner. An ineffectual cop (Richard Herd) investigates the murders but doesn't think much of Julie's letters. 

This typical for the time slasher movie (which would inundate the '80's) has a dumb finale where the murderer is revealed. Christopher Lloyd on TV's “Taxi” at the time plays a red herring handyman and Flo Gerrish from DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE plays Julie's friend Pat. After this writer/director David Paulsen became a TV producer.

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Norris Is So Tough, He Makes Onions Cry!

 

 (wikipedia)

INVASION USA-1985-Soviet terrorist Rostov (Richard Lynch) wants revenge on retired CIA agent Matt Hunter (Chuck Norris; also one of the screenwriters). After failing to kill him at his home in the Everglades he plots the invasion of America. Hunter agrees to go after him. There's lots of violence and killing (families, teens at party, shoot out at a crowded mall) and ridiculous car chases. The invaders disguise themselves as police and soldiers to cause unrest. A woman reporter (Melissa Prophet) who's life Hunter saves several times isn't even grateful. Billy Drago has a small role as a coke dealer who's killed. 

Director Joseph Zito directed Norris in MISSING IN ACTION the same year and also made the horror movies THE PROWLER and FRIDAY THE 13TH:THE FINAL CHAPTER.

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Friday, November 4, 2022

The Last Usher

 


USHER-2000-A would be poet Truman Jones (Sean Napita) visits reclusive poet Roderick Usher (Curtis Harrington who wrote and directed this) at his home where he lives with his French servant (Fabrice Uzan), his dog Lucifer and his dying sister Madeline (also played by Harrington with a dubbed voice). They talk poetry and Usher gives a masquerade party. At the party Madeline dies. Later she comes back and accuses her bro of burying her alive. ("We both have the same soul") She hugs him and he dies. Truman leaves. 

This bizarre short is the last film work of the under appreciated Harrington (NIGHT TIDE, QUEEN OF BLOOD) and was filmed in his actual home. Gary Graver (who died in 2006) was the cinematographer. Harrington financed the film himself. He passed in 2007.

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Thursday, November 3, 2022

Price's Dracula

 

 (imdb)

VINCENT PRICE'S DRACULA-1986-The incomparable Vincent Price narrates this documentary on the Dracula legacy. The first part tells the true story of Vlad Dracul aka Vlad the Impaler and uses scenes from the sweeping Russian made VLAD TESPES (a film I'd like to see). It also makes an illusion to Count Chocula and compares Vlad's impaling as a peculiarity that all heads of state have. Like Ronald Reagan liking jelly beans! (Tongue in cheek). 

The second part focuses on Bram Stoker and Price reads from the novel. Then the climax to the silent classic NOSFERATU (1922) is shown. Price then presents a "vampire emergency kit". Then comes an overview of the vampire film. Scenes from VAMPYR (1932), MARK OF THE VAMPIRE (1935) (called a sequel to DRACULA here) and RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE (1943) are used. Also mentioned are Francis Lederer in RETURN OF DRACULA (1958) and John Beal in THE VAMPIRE (1957). It ends with an exorcism being performed in modern day Transylvania. 

Price as the on screen narrator and his witty and urbane dialogue are the real reason to see this. It's director John Muller's only credit.

 (letterboxd.com)

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Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Meat Cleaver Mash Up

 

 (imdb)

THE HOLLYWOOD MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE-Sir Christopher Lee introduces this tacky low budget gore film. It seems Lee's scenes (he also appears at the end) were for another movie that was never made and the producers of this basement budget atrocity bought the footage, put it in their horror film and even advertised Lee as the star! Lee obviously was a little ticked off but at least for the viewer it's a plus if you have to sit through the whole thing! 

A college teacher talks to his class about an ancient demon. Later he gets flak from some asshole Mace. At night Mace and his stoner mates go cruising Hollywood Blvd., drinking and drugging. At Mace's urging they go to the professor's house. They kill his wife and children and think they killed him but he survives. While in a brain damaged coma he somehow summons a demon called Morek to get revenge on the killers. 

This is bad with most of the scenes way too dark. Needless to say it was the only movie ever made by director Evan Lee (no relation). Shortened recently to MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE.

 (wkipedia)


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Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Boris!

 

 (YouTube)

AUTO-LITE THEATER PRESENTS "SUSPENSE" (1949)-"A NIGHT AT THE INN" by Lord Dunsany. Three mugs (Anthony Ross, Jack Manning, Barry Macollum) who stole a sacred Jewel from the head of a Hindu idol hide out at an Irish inn waiting to hear the plan their boss Toff (Boris Karloff) has for them. They decide to take the jewel by force from Toff and sell it in London. However Toffee has a plan which seems to work until something unforeseen happens….

This strange little tale is an interesting look at an early live TV production (shot in NYC) with a creepy atmosphere and Karloff giving a great performance.

 “Suspense” ran on the CBS network for 5 seasons starting in 1948. It's the offshoot of a radio show of the same name that ran for 20 years beginning in 1942. Auto-lite sponsored the show throughout it's run and the on screen narrator was Rex Marshall for many of them (around this time Marshall helped found WPIX TV in NYC. He later did many other TV announcing jobs and after that owned his own radio station in Vermont until his death in 2000). 

Like many early TV anthologies it based it's shows on stories written by well known authors (Edgar Allen Poe e.g.) and many well known stars and characters are were featured. Bela Lugosi appears in an adaptation of Poe's “The Cask of Amontillado”. Many episodes are lost but at least 90 exist. Director Robert Stevens was busy on TV through the 1960's (He directed 44 episodes of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” and the first episode of “The Twilight Zone”, “Where Is Everybody?”). He died of cardiac arrest after being beaten and robbed in his home in 1989. Screenwriter Halstead Welles also later wrote for “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” and much later “Night Gallery”.

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Plumber Lou

 

 (imdb)

GE THEATER PRESENTS "BLAZE OF GLORY"-1958-Plumber Carl Andrews (Lou Costello) is forced by jewel thief boss Favier (Jonathan Harris) to retrieve some stolen diamonds that were accidentally dropped down a hotel sink. Andrews outwits them with the help of Harris' female assistant (Joyce Jameson) and a blow torch. 

It's a so-so comedy but Costello's performance brings it up a notch and shows he probably would have succeeded as a solo performer (unfortunately, he died the next year). Lurene Tuttle (MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD) is his wife and Olan Soule is a desk clerk. Future president Ronald Reagan is the host. 

Director Don Weis worked in TV almost his entire career doing everything from “The Jack Benny Program” and “The Andy Griffith Show” to “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” and “The Twilight Zone”, only occasionally stepping out to do a feature film (THE GENE KRUPA STORY, THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI). Costello's ex-partner Bud Abbott would also appear on GE Theater (but in a dramatic role) in 1961. 

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