John Agar

HAND OF DEATH-1962-A guy investigates a bunch of dead sheep and passes out. Scientist Alex Marsh (John Agar) & his assistant Carlos (John Alonza) revive him and say they were conducting a secret experiment for the government and he mustn't tell anyone. Back in civilization, Alex visits wheelchair bound Dr. Ramsey (Roy Gordon), his kind of girlfriend Clara (Paula Raymond) and another scientist Tom Holland (Stephen Dunne). He tells them he’s invented a nerve gas that can also hypnotize its victims. Clara doesn't like it. She thinks it's too dangerous. One night while working he knocks over a beaker containing some experimental gas. He passes out and has a dream about floating test tubes and lab mice. He wakes up with a dark sunburn and when he touches Carlos he dies. Alex packs a bag, sets the place on fire and leaves. Joe Besser plays a happy gas station attendant who's cheerful outlook doesn't pay off. I’ll watch anything with John Agar in it but I’ll never forgive him for killing lovable Joe Besser! 

Alex hides out at Ramsey's place while they try to find a cure. Tom comes up with something but by then poor Alex turns into a lumpy faced monster (he resembles the original version of The Thing from the Fantastic Four comic books) who accidentally kills Ramsey. Despite his obvious pathetic grunts that are pleas for help when Clara sees him she flees in terror (ok, I would have done the same…). Undaunted he puts on a floppy hat and trench coat and goes for a ride. That doesn't work out so he wanders around aimlessly scaring women until he kills a cabbie and steals his cab. With the police on his trail Alex ditches the cab and wanders on the beach. After he collapses a little kid (Butch Patrick) almost touches him, Alex goes to Tom’s beach house for help but surprise! Clara is staying there instead. Tom and the police arrive and when Alex becomes aggressive a cop shoots him. Tom can have Clara all to himself. 

This seldom seen low budget horror movie was the first feature length film directed by Gene Nelson, also an actor who went on to direct Elvis Presley in KISSIN' COUSINS but worked mainly in TV. 

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Unsold!

THE SOLARNAUTS-1967-Unsold British TV pilot about  two astronauts Power (David Garfield) and Tempo (Derek Fowlds) who prowl around Mars for their grouchy boss. A green faced alien named Logik (Alex Scott) causes problems by threatening to destroy the capital of Mars if he doesn't get the planet’s mineral rights. A woman named Kanda (Martine Beswick) shows up to help them. They thwart his plan in the end but he gets away. They have guns that freeze people. 

The very toy like sfx seem like this could have been filmed by Gerry Anderson for a puppet cast but they decided to substitute humans at the last minute. Directed by John Llewellyn Moxey who later made many films and TV episodes both in England and the US including the classic vampire TV movie THE NIGHT STALKER.

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Monster Muck Up

MONSTROID-1980-An American industrialist (Philip Carey) worries that his cement producing water polluting plant in Columbia SA is losing money because the locals say a giant creature is on a killing spree. A local named Vic is stirring up trouble with his anti-American, anti-big business protests which besides including the monster also concern a witch. An American lady reporter (Andrea Hartford) investigates and interviews people while villagers torment a bull during some kind of festival and a young girl gleefully takes pictures. Meanwhile Pete (Anthony Eisley), the plant manager has a bad break up with his white girlfriend Laura (Coral Kassel) who he throws off for local boo Juanita who has been branded as “la bruja”, a witch. A priest (John Carradine), sermonizes and leads a festival procession and troubleshooter Bill Travis (James Mitchum) arrives to sought things out. After Laura has one last bang with Pete, she becomes monster bait. Later they have sonar equipment set up. Horny Pete is suppose to be monitoring it but he’s too busy bedding Juanita and misses the monster attacking a fishing boat. Meanwhile Travis drills the reporter. Pete’s kids get a blurry photo of the creature’s eye and this convinces everyone the monster is real. At night while the priest leads some loco locals to burn the witch, crazy Vic causes an explosion that cripples the plant and kills him. Pete, Travis and Juanita set a trap for the monster and Travis gets waterlogged saving the day but blows up the monster. However the kids’ dog makes a startling surprise in the end.  

The monster makes Reptilicus look good. Credits say based on a true story but there’s no such village in Colombia and most of the story was shot in Mexico.

This low budget production (begun in 1971!) went through many script, cast and title changes (Carradine doesn't interact with any of the other “stars” and scenes with Philip Carey are just him talking on a phone) before being released in it's present form. Director Ken Hartford also made the past up job THE LUCIFIER COMPLEX. It's also been said (by Anthony Eisley in an interview with Tom Weaver) film “doctor” Herbert Strock directed most of the movie with credited director Hartford having very little to do with it.

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Mama Mia!

MAMA DRACULA-1980-Peter von Blood (Jimmy Shuman), a nerdy self possessed professor is invited to attend “The World Blood Congress” by Countess Dracula (Oscar winner Louise Fletcher) herself. Vladamir, her grunting pale driver takes him to the castle where he’s nearly bitten by twin gay vampires. He’s saved by The Countess, who tells Blood she stays young by bathing in the blood of virgins but in the decadent modern world virgins are not easy to find. Someone named Nancy Hawaii (Maria Schneider from LAST TANGO IN PARIS) shows up to become the new mama. The director Boris Szulzinger (TARZOON: SHAME OF THE JUNGLE) thought this Belgium-France co-produced nonsense was funny I guess….

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You Go Sisters!

SISTERS OF DEATH-1976-During a sisterhood initiation involving Russian roulette, a would be member is killed. 7 years later... someone is planning a reunion. Judy (Claudia Jennings), Sylvia (Cheri Howell), Francie (Cheryl Alberoni), Diane (Sherry Boucher), Penny (Roxanne Albee), the remaining girls reunite and are driven to a remote house by two guys Mark (Paul Carr) & Joe (Joe Tata) where someone is watching them. Only Penny had any hesitation to go. Everything seems to be provided for their entertainment. Even Mark and Joe come back although they aren't really welcome. The next day the watcher reveals himself. He is the father of the girl who died at their initiation 7 years earlier. Though the girls explain that they all loved his daughter and her death was ruled a tragic accident, he insists one of them secretly hated her and purposely set her up to be murdered and now he’s going to find out who! There's an electrified fence around the grounds and since the guys are trapped there too, they decided to help out.

Penny is the first to go, strangled to death. Dad spends much of his time in a secret room making bullets near a shrine for his dead child. He also plays the flute to an accompanying record and has a flashback. Apparently he and daughter were a musical duo. After Sylvia is menaced by a tarantula,  Diane is killed with a pair of scissors. Joe runs into the electric fence after being chased by a dog. Francie is locked in the cellar with a rattlesnake. In the end Sylvia is in league with Dad, who has a Gatling gun he plans to use in his own game of Russian roulette leading to a surprise twist ending involving Judy and Paul. The director of this low budget cat and mouse drama Joe Mazzuca, directed several episodes of TV's THE BIG VALLEY and did various production jobs on many animated cartoon series. 

Joking with Drac

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DRACULA (THE DIRTY OLD MAN)-1969-After some pretty funny narration, a not bad Dracula (Vince Kelley) rises from his coffin. He was an exaggerated Jewish accent and makes dumb jokes. His coffin is in a cave and he spies on a woman. Later he hypnotizes a guy named Mike who becomes Irving Jeckleman with a terrible furry wolf head. He procures women for Dracula to fondle, insult and bite one captive's boob. Irving chases a few, kills their men and takes his own girlfriend back to the cave where he and the count have a falling out. Dracula steps out into the sun and dies. Mike and his girlfriend have sex in the cave while a bat watches them. 

Despite the presence of many topless women and a few fully naked ones this is an awful boring mess. The worst part though is stupid dubbed in voices which get old very quick. Director William Edward later produced and wrote the infamous THE MUMMY AND THE CURSE OF THE JACKALS.

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Welles Meets Mr. Big

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NECROMANCY-1972-Laurie (Pamela Franklin) and Frank (Michael Ontkean) Brandon decide to move to the country to forget about their stillborn child. On their drive to the town called Lilith they are almost in a collision but manage to avoid the other car which plummets off a cliff and explodes. While Frank goes for the police Laurie checks out the fiery crash. She finds a doll and takes it with her. When their car runs out of gas (?), Frank leaves Laurie alone to get some. She hears a voice and wanders around until she comes to some kind of funeral for a young boy. But she looks closer she sees herself in the coffin. Then the scene vanishes and she's alone in front of a tombstone. 

Finally they meet Frank’s new boss Mr. Cato (Orson Welles with glasses & fake nose) a toy manufacturer who likes “the black arts”. Laurie takes an immediate dislike to Cato and the town. His assistant Priscilla (Lee Purcell) tells Laurie that Cato’s son is dead and Cato won't accept it. She also says Cato not only owns the town, he owns the people too. At party, the people talk about astrology and use tarot cards while Cato smiles and drinks wine. Laurie has some weird visions. Later Cato reveals to Laurie that he believes she has a power to bring back the dead and wants her to bring back his son! After refusing to join the local coven and seeing a young boy no one else can see, she gets locked in the basement and is terrorized by rats. But it all seems to be an illusion and hubby is a witch too. In the end Laurie kills herself and is brought back to life. Somehow Cato’s son comes back to life and Laurie is put in his coffin and buried alive. But it all seems to be a dream with the happy couple getting ready to go to Lilith and disaster. 

This modern day supernatural nonsense was the product of Mr. BIG himself Bert I. Gordon who also co-wrote the script.

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