Jackson Before Rings

 

 (imdb)

BAD TASTE-1989-Cannibalistic aliens invade a small town in Australia in this bloody gore filled serio-comedy with extreme slapstick. Heads explode, limbs are torn off, entrails pulled out. Four guys from a special agency discover the aliens (who disguise themselves as humans) want humans for their intergalactic fast-food chain. Future Academy Award winner Peter Jackson co-wrote and directed as well as playing the role of Derek.

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Stan & Ollie

 

 (imdb)

CHICKENS COME HOME-1931-The owner of a fertilizer company Mr. Hardy (Oliver Hardy) sees his political career jeopardized by an old flame (uncredited Mae Busch). He sends his general manager, Mr. Laurel (Stan Laurel) to stall while he has a dinner engagement with his wife (uncredited Thelma Todd). Stan tries to stop the woman from going to Hardy's house. An old biddy tells Stan's wife (Norma Drew) he's fooling around. Mrs. Laurel goes after him with an axe. James Finlayson plays Hardy's butler. Pretty hysterical Laurel & Hardy short.

Director James W. Horne had worked with the team before and would direct them again in THE BOHEMINAN GIRL and WAY OUT WEST. Later he directed several serials.

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Gore Comedy

 

THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS-1966-In this slapstick gore movie, Doc and Spike, two psychotic greasy spoon diner owners kill women and serve their parts to customers. It's full of phony gore and stupid comedy bits with cartoon sound effects. (One victim is Sally Lamb and they serve her leg. Leg of lamb, get it?) A prissy obnoxious Undertaker (Ray Dannis; also in TV Mikels' THE CORPSE GRINDERS) helps them and tries to rack up business for himself. One scene has a woman beaten to death with a chain. A nosy black delivery guy is axed in the head. Another woman is cut open but this scene is actually real operation footage. Scenes of the undertaker in drag were cut and now there's only one quick scene during the comical end credits. Harry Glass (James Westmoreland using the name Rad Fulton), a PI, looks for them after his girlfriend Sally Poultry is killed. 40's Batman star Robert Lowery has one scene as a customer who pies Spike. It's the only movie directed by TLP Swicewood (also the screenwriter). Westmoreland was later the stupid hero cop in DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.

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Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy

 

ANOTHER FINE MESS-1930-In this Hal Roach short Laurel and Hardy escape a policeman by hiding in a mansion owned by Lord Buckshot (perennial L & H fall guy James Finlayson) who leaves on a hunting trip in South Africa. His maid and butler also leave. When Lord Plumtree (Charles K. Gerrald) and his wife (Thelma Todd) arrive to rent the place Ollie impersonates Buckshot and Stan becomes the maid. After several mishaps the real Buckshot returns unexpectedly and the duo wind up dressed in a lion's costume riding a two seat bicycle being shot at by the police! 

MESS was directed by James Parrot (brother of Charley Chase) and the titles are read by twin sisters (The Crane sisters) instead of written out. It's a remake of a once thought to be lost L & H silent DUCK SOUP (the first film with them as an “official” team) based on a play written by Stan's father.

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Moe and Larry and Curly Joe

 

 HAVE ROCKET WILL, TRAVEL-1959-The Three Stooges (Moe, Larry and Curly Joe) are maintenance men for a NASA like rocket foundation headed by JP Morse (Jerome Cowan). Inga Naarvey (Anna-Lisa) heads the project and admits she's “married to science” when psychologist Ted Benson (Robert Colbert; later in Irwin Allen's "Time Tunnel on TV) suggests marriage. 

When JP tells Inga the foundation might close down the trio (who have taken a liking to Inga and vice versa) decide to make their own rocket fuel. Moe tries to stuff Larry down a sink and they make a general mess of the place (and JP). They hide out in the supposedly abandoned rocket and when it's accidentally launched, they go into space headed for Venus. 

After some hi-jinx with no gravity they land on Venus and encounter a giant spider and then a unicorn whose horn is stuck in a rock. They help him and he takes them to a city. Along the way they sing a song. Later they meet a talking flying electric car and then a weird robot with multiple arms. It shrinks the trio and puts them in a cage. The machine makes robot doubles of them but they botch up everything as well. Somehow the zany three make it back to Earth and are hailed as heroes. At a party in their honor the stooges wind up making all the party goers fight each other. Their doubles show up too!

This was the "new" Three Stooges first feature length film as the team had a resurgence in the late '50's due to their Columbia shorts being shown on TV. It's also Curly Joe DeRita's debut. He replaced jolly Joe Besser who co-starred in the last series of their short comedies. Though this black and white movie was a box office success Moe didn't like it and really it's that good. Later efforts were much funnier. 

Director David Lowell Rich was a busy TV director who later made many TV movies and the blaxploitation film THAT MAN BOLT. 

https://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2018/10/bolt.html

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Stan and Ollie

 

A CHUMP AT OXFORD-1939-Stan & Ollie (Laurel & Hardy of course!) fake their way into becoming butler and maid for a wealthy couple (Stan is the maid). After being fired (Stan gets drunk and serves the salad dressed only in his underwear) they get jobs as street sweepers. When they accidentally capture a bank robber (Rex Lease) (because of Stan's discarded banana peel) the bank president sends them to Oxford to get an education. After the students (one is Peter Cushing) play several pranks on the duo, Stan gets hit on the head and becomes Lord Paddington, an ear wiggling pompous powerhouse with an English accent. 

The opening segment involving the team as servants was added by Hal Roach after the production was finished because his distributor United Artists, deemed it too short (around 40 minutes). This had been done deliberately by Roach as he wanted to double the time of two reelers but not make a full length feature. 

Australian born Alfred J. Goulding directed Harold Lloyd comedies in the 1920's and later worked on the ill fated last project by Laurel & Hardy, UTOPIA. 

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Hall Comedy

SPIES A GO GO (aka THE NASTY RABBIT)-1964-A Russian spy (Mischa Terr) infiltrates the US dressed as a cowboy. Other cliched stereotype spies (German, Mexican, Japanese, Israel) are after him. He plans to destroy the US with a rabbit. Arch Hall Jr. is secret agent Britt Hunter, posing as a rock and roller, out to stop him. 

This dumb feature directed by James Landis (DEADWOOD '76) features sped up scenes, crazy music, broad slapstick and Arch Hall Sr. hamming it up in two roles (he also co-wrote the screenplay). Music by brothers Pat and Lolly Vegas who later formed the band “Redbone” (“Come And Get Your Love”).

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Corman Quickie

THE CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA-1961-A crooked captain Renzo Capetto (Anthony Carbone trying to imitate Bogart) and his motley crew including his girlfriend Mary-Belle (Betsy Jones-Moreland), her dumb brother Happy Jack (Robert Bean) and Pete (Beach Dickerson), guy who makes animal noises (dubbed in) help two Cuban generals illegally transport a chest of money out of the country. A bunch of locals are also aboard though one of them is actually a government agent X-15 (Edward Wain aka future writer director Robert Towne). Capetto decides to do away with The Cubans and blame it on a monster he creates. Unfortunately for everyone a real monster shows up. 

There's lots of dumb comic dialogue (by Charles Griffith), slapstick and non-action in this hastily directed effort by Roger Corman (who has a cameo) and shot in Puerto Rico back to back with THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH and BATTLE OF BLOOD ISLAND in around 5 days! One of my least favorites. It was planned to be a straight horror movie but changed by Corman at the last minute.

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Disco Comedy

RECORD CITY-1977-Stupid comedy relic from the '70's about an amateur music contest revolving around the local characters working and hanging out at the title place, a discount record store run by arrogant, disco look manager Eddie (Michael Callan). 

A young clerk named Danny (Dennis Bowen) plans to enter the contest. He's sweet on Lorraine (Wendy Schaal) another employee. Tim Thomerson (who gets kicked in the groin several times) and Ted Lange also work there but there are a whole bunch of smaller roles by people like Alice Ghostley and Leonard Barr as an old couple. Larry Storch as a deaf guy. Sorrell Brooks is a cop who gets his foot stuck in a toilet bowl. Ed Begley Jr. is a robber. Ruth Buzzi is a washerwoman. Alan Oppenhiemer is a blind man in a scene obviously “inspired” by IT'S A GIFT while other slapstick stunts seem to be based on the 3 Stooges! Jack Carter is the owner of the whole store (he winds up wearing female underwear) who owes money to a mobster who's bodyguard is played Harold Sakata (dressed like Oddjob)! To top it all off Rick Dees (who had the number # 1 hit “Disco Duck” in '76) shows up as a DJ called “Gorilla Man”. The song he does shows why Disco died. Prop comedian Gallagher is there too being unfunny. 

And then Frank Gorshin shows up as a criminal called “The Chameleon” who dresses as a nun in the dumb finale! This seems to be the only feature film directed by Dennis Steinmetz who previous to this directed episodes of THE LAND OF THE LOST. It was written by someone named Ron Friedman that may explain the appearance of Kinky Friedman playing himself.

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Lost in a Harem

I like the comedy team of Abbott and Costello a lot. Their TV show is my favorite TV show of all time! Their movies are great too. Even their less than classic ones always have some funny bits. I wasn't sure where to start but I figured to skip over their most popular ones (for now) and concentrate on their later output.




LOST IN A HAREM-1944-"The boys" play Peter Johnson (Bud) and Harvey Garvey (Lou) two inept magicians in the Middle East who wind up in jail with a beggar (Murray Leonard) who goes crazy when he hears the word "Pokomoko" during their "Slowly I Turn" routine. Marilyn Maxwell (who'd been a singer on A & C's radio show) plays their assistant Hazel. The three of them get involved in helping a Prince Ramo (John Conte) who wants to overthrow the rule of his evil Uncle Nimativ (Douglas Dumbrille who's also the villain in A & C IN THE FOREIGN LEGION). They try to steal some rings he uses to hypnotize people but he winds up hypnotizing them into thinking they're termites! There's some funny routines ("Go in and outwit him") and exchanges (Nimativ: "Eyes bad?" Costello: "Dat so?"). Nimativ puts Hazel under his power and plans to marry her. Of course since this is an Abbott and Costello comedy some time is taken up by the blooming romance between Ramo and Hazel and Jimmy Dorsey and his orchestra play a few tunes (there's also a long useless dance number). Though most of that is kept at a minimum.  Lock Martin plays Bobo a huge guard who helps the team (they tell him they're Hollywood talent scouts) by hiding them in Nimativ's harem and lovable Tor Johnson is one of Nimativ's majordomos! When Nimativ throws them in a dungeon they meet up again with the beggar and his imaginary friend Mike. ("I shot him with a knife!") Later Bud dresses as Nimativ and Lou plays one of his wives. They also do short mirror bit similar to the one The Marx Bros. did in DUCK SOUP.

Bud and Lou made this at  MGM as a "loan out" from Universal. It was directed by Charles Reisner, veteran of silent movie shorts who'd directed the last Marx Brothers film THE BIG STORE in 1941.

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PS-I kind of screwed up again as I posted a review for ABBOTT AND COSTELLO IN THE FOREIGN LEGION a few days ago which was made after LOST IN A HAREM which should have been posted first. Sorry for the confusion....

Abbott & Costello in The Foreign Legion

ABBOTT & COSTELLO IN THE FOREIGN LEGION-1950-"The boys" play a pair of wrestling promoters. Bud writes the script and tries to co-ordinate a match between (real  wrestlers) Abdullah (Wee Willie Davis, the same year he played the guy who caused the racetrack ruckus in Kubrick's THE KILLING)) and Bertram (Sam Menacker). After the two wrestlers "practice" on Lou, Abdullah quits and keeps the five thousand a mobster (Marc Lawrence who's also in the team's HOLD THAT GHOST) gave them to fix the fight. The pair put on pith helmets and white suits and go to Algiers to find him. It turns out Abdullah is the cousin of Sheik Halmud El Khalid (Douglas Dumbrille; also the villain in the LOST IN A HAREM) who is in cahoots with the corrupted Foreign Legion Sgt. Axman (Walter Slezak) and Prince Josef (un-billed Dan Seymour) in a railroad scheme. Lou accidentally buys six slaves girls (including Nicole Dupree (Patricia Medina), a French intelligence agent) and since they can't pay they run away. Also a gang of the Sheik's men (including Henry Corden) are after them. To escape they take refugee with the Foreign Legion and wind up joining! Of course this leads to a lot of A & C antics as Lou has to evade a bayonet attack and Sgt. Axman. Later they are targeted for death. There's a lot of jokes involving the word "oui".

In one fairly gruesome scene (for an Abbott & Costello movie) the sheik's henchman kill a troop of legionnaires (while Bud & Lou are out looking for a runaway camel). Lost in the desert they have to contend with crazy mirages (including an old time ice cream shop) and a guy (David Gorcey) selling newspapers: "Can I help it if they gave me a bad corner?"). Later on they (and Nicole) are captured by the sheik. He puts them against two wrestlers intent on killing them but one turns out to be Abdullah. The other is played by Tor Johnson! Abdullah helps them escape. Lou commandeers Axman's jeep in a very funny scene (bit man and Costello's real life friend Bobby Barber appears too).

FOREIGN LEGION is done on a lower budget then some of the team's previous efforts but it's still fun especially for fans. It doesn't really contain any of their classic routines (except briefly at the end when Bud thinks Lou is dead). Years later Patrica Medina co-starred in THE 3 STOOGES MEET SNOW WHITE! Douglas Dumbrille had been the villain in 2 Marx Brothers movies. Director Charles Lamont (born in Russia) directed most of Bud & Lou's 50's output as well Francis the Talking Mule and Ma & Pa Kettle entries.

Initial filming had to be delayed while Costello had to have a gall bladder operation but he seemed to have recovered nicely....

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Drunk Mantis Dance Fever

DANCE OF THE DRUNK MANTIS-1979-Jackie Chan style martial arts comedy full of stupid characters, terrible dubbing and hackneyed editing but it's slapstick acrobatic fights are great! An old woman beats up a much younger money lender and two bullies cluck like a chicken and a duck when they fight. An old Kung-Fu master, Sam the Seed (Siu Tin Yuen also in SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW who died soon after this) teaches his adopted son Foggy (Shun-Yee Yuen  also in INFRA-MAN) "drunk fighting". They have a falling out but later get back together to fight the old man's white bearded former pupil Old Rubber Legs (Jang Lee Hwang also in BRUCE LEE: A DRAGON STORY). After getting beat the son meets his thought to be dead uncle who teaches him some new moves so he can destroy Rubber Legs. 

Director Woo-ping Yuen (Siu Tin Yuen's son) directed several movies with Jackie Chan and was stunt coordinator on many more.

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Old Dark Remake

THE OLD DARK HOUSE-1963-Tom, an American car salesman in England (Tom Poston also in the director's ZOTZ) gets involved ]with the Femm family. He goes to their ancestral  hall on the urging of his roommate Casper Femm (Peter Bull)). He arrives (by trapdoor) and finds his friend Casper dead from a fall. He meets Cicely Femm, Casper's cousin (Janette Scott; DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS) who says he was murdered. Cicely warns Tom to leave before uncle Roderick (Robert Morley) comes back but too late! Roderick arrives and insists Tom stay the night. At dinner Tom meets the rest of the family:  father Jasper (also Bull), mother Agatha (Joyce Grenfell), sister Morgana (Fenella Fielding) and cousin Potafer (Mervyn Johns)) who's building an ark. The eccentric family seems to think that Tom could be related to them. Jasper also has a twin (same actor) who says Roderick want to kill them all. Agatha is stabbed with her knitting needles. Jasper is strangled with tongs. Roderick is shot. Who done it? Despite all the murders there's slapstick comedy and one liners but it's really not funny.

It's a remake of the 1932 James Whale production starring Boris Karloff. Director William Castle collaborated with Hammer Pictures on this macabre horror comedy misfire made between 13 FRIGHTENED GIRLS! and STRAITJACKET.

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Fatty Arbuckle

LOVE-1919-Director/star Fatty Arbuckle tries to win his girlfriend (Mabel Normand) back after her father plans to marry her off to some stupid skinny guy (Al St. John; Arbuckle's real life nephew). Lots of characters get kicked in the ass in this very enjoyable violent slapstick silent comedy short. Fatty even dresses as an old woman and then tricks the pastor into marrying him and his beloved. It's from a 4 DVD boxed set called THE FORGOTTEN FILMS OF ROSCOE "FATTY" ARBUCKLE from Laughsmith Entertainment. Only 2 years later Arbuckle's career would be ended by scandal.

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Bela & Mother Reilly

MY SON THE VAMPIRE-1952-English music hall comedian Arthur Lucan made 15 films between 1937-1952 in which he starred in drag as charwoman Old Mother Reilly. He'd probably be completely unknown in the US if it wasn't for this entry (actually the last in the series) which of course featured Bela Lugosi as the villain Van Housen, also known as “The Vampire”, a mad scientist and kidnapper who sleeps in a coffin. For some reason he has a robot sent to him but the addresses get mixed up and store owner Mrs. Reilly (Lucan) gets the mechanical man instead. 

It's a lot of dumb fun though Lucan (who also sings a song) is a little overbearing at times. There's a slapstick inspired fight and the robot terrorizes Mrs. Reilly near the finale, although he/she has nothing to do with catching Van Housen in the end. 

Some may think this was a real comedown for the great Lugosi but he has some good lines and seems to be enjoying himself and remember this same year he made BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA! 

Also known as VAMPIRE OVER LONDON and OLD MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE the US version featured a song by Allen Sherman over the opening credits where neither Lugosi or Lucan are mentioned as the stars! Director John Gilling later made several horror films including PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES and THE REPTILE.

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Private Eyes

PRIVATE EYES-1953-In another typical Bowery Boys outing Sach (Huntz Hall) gets punched in the nose and obtains the ability to read minds. Slip (Leo Gorcey) buys a detective agency and "the boys" (along with David Gorcey as Chuck and Bennie Bartlett as Butch) get involved with a stolen furs gang. 

It's the usual BB inanity with Sach doing his dumbest using a shotgun and homemade bomb to try and open a safe (he put the combination in it so he wouldn't lose it...). Later after a little kid is kidnapped and held for ransom Slip once again disguises himself as a German doctor and Sach dresses in drag as his female patient! 

Joyce Holden (TERROR IN THE YEAR 5000 AD) is the woman who's part of the gang but has a change of heart and helps out. Myron Healy is a dumb hospital attendant and Emil Sitka has a bigger role than usual. Also with Chick Chandler, Tim Ryan, Bill Phillips and Peter Mamkos. 

PE is like an overlong episode of The Abbott and Costello TV show combined with a lot of 3 Stooges gags. This figures since it was made by writer Ellwood Ullman and director Edward Bernds.

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Let's Go Navy

LET'S GO NAVY-1951-In this outing Slip (Leo Gorcey) and Sach (Huntz Huntz) are robbed at gun point of some money they planned to give to charity. Since the two robbers (Tom Neal and Richard Benedict) were dressed as sailors "the boys" decide to join the navy and find them! Allen Jenkins is their CPO who is thrown overboard several times because of Sach's idiocy. Jonathan Hale is the captain. There's a lot of Abbott & Costello type gags including giving the captain a bar of soap instead of cheese and shell game routine (featuring Frank Jenks). When they land on a tropical island someone named Charlita shows up as Princess Papoola. She was in BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA the next year. Billy Benedict is Whitey, Buddy Gorman is Butch and David Gorcey is Chuck.

Unfortunately there's not enough Louie Dumbrosky (Bernard Gorcey). Directed by William Beaudine. This is the only credit for screenwriter Max Adams (!). This would be Buddy Gorman's last appearance as Butch. Bennie Barlett would rejoin the gang for the next entry. Leo Gorcey's manager Jan Grippo also exited as producer after this one.

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Bowery Battalion

BOWERY BATTALION-1951-All "the boys" join the army. Their drill sergeant is played by Edward MacBride (the familiar character actor who among other things was in ROOM SERVICE with The Marx Brothers) and is the highlight of this torpid entry.

Sach (Huntz Hall) acts really freaky at times and Slip (Leo Gorcey) tries unsuccessfully to imitate Lou Costello in a drill scene. After getting thrown into the brig for impersonating officers it turns out little Louie Dumbrowsky (Bernard Gorcey) was known as "the fighting corporal" during WW l and knows the plans for a top secret weapon. He's made a colonel and "the boys" become his orderlies. They run afoul of spies but foil them in the end. The last line of the film has MacBride talking to the camera.

Of course Billy Benedict as Whitey, Buddy Gorman as Butch and David Gorcey as Chuck are also present. Usual 3 Stooges foil Emil Sitka has a small role as a clumsy waiter. Once again the William Beaudine-Charles Marion team made this one.


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May Is Bowery Boys Month!

 Please excuse this interruption but by popular demand (not really) I'm devoting May to review some Bowery Boys movies. Here's the first one:

HOLD THAT BABY!-1949-Fairly amusing Leo Gorcey and The Bowery Boys installment finds the gang in hot water when they accidentally become guardians of a baby left in their Laundromat. It turns out the baby is actually the heir to a huge fortune. Two sisters (Anabel Shaw and Ida Moore) plot to steal the inheritance by claiming the mother (Francis Auer ) is insane! The Boys are kind of blackmailed by two gangsters (John Kellogg and Frankie Darro) into keeping quiet about having the baby but eventually Gorcey disguises himself as a German doctor and gets the mother out of an insane asylum just in time before the reading of the will! Of course Sach (second billed Huntz Hall ) provides most of the laughs. Gabe Dell is Gabe Moreno, their straight laced friend who tries to help them.

The other "boys" are Billy Benedict as Whitey, Benny Bartlett as Butch and David Gorcey as Chuck. Leo's dad Bernard is also on hand as sweet shop owner Louie. Director Reginald Le Borg was in the middle of helming a series of Joe Polooka comedies when he made this. It's the 14th of 48 Bowery Boys movies, the first half produced by Monogram Studios.

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Slaptick Dictator

THE DEVIL WITH HITLER-1942-This 44 minute slaptick comedy from Hal Roach studios has Gesatan, the devil (Alan Mowbray) trying to save his job as boss of Hell because the other devils want to replace him with Adolf Hitler! He goes to Earth to try and make Hitler (Bobby Watson) do a good deed. Joe Devlin is Mussolini and George E. Stone is Suki Yaki. There's a lot of slapstick, one liners and jokes about executions. The freaky part is when Hitler talks about how horrible concentration camps are!

It's very much in the vein of the 3 Stooges shorts YOU NAZTY SPY! and I'LL NEVER HEIL AGAIN (both made first). Douglas Fowley plays an insurance salesman and Herman Bing is a Nazi astrologer who's executed. Philip Van Zandt, John Miljan and Rudolph Anders have un-credited roles. In the end Hitler is chased by devils with pitchforks and Gesatan promises: "This is only the beginning, folks!".

Director Gordon Douglas had made SAPS AT SEA with Laurel & Hardy the year before and later made THEM!. Watson portrayed Hitler at least 9 times during the 1940's.

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