Whatever

 

 (imdb)

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO AUNT ALICE?-1969-Already loony Claire Marrable (Geraldine Page) goes off the deep end when she finds out her recently dead husband left her nothing in his will so she decides to kill her female servants. Relocating to Arizona, she gets rid of Mrs. Tinsley (Mildred Dunnock) and hires Mrs. Dimmock (Ruth Gordon). Her new next-door neighbor is Helen Vaughan (Rosemary Forsyth) and her young nephew Jim (Michael Barbera). She has an affair with Mike Darrah (Robert Fuller), a mechanic who is working with Dimmock to find out what happened to Miss Tinsley. 

It has a little twisting end and it's really not much but the score by Gerald Fried and photography by Joseph Biroc are a plus. It's based on a novel by Ursula Curtiss who also wrote “I Saw What You Did” which William Castle had made into a movie in 1965. Director Lee Katzin, besides his TV work, went to make the bizarre THE PHYNX (1970) and the pretty good LE MANS (1971). He also made the failed Sci-Fi TV movie THE STRANGER (1973). He replaced original director Bernard Girard on this after a week of filming. Right before the movie's release Ruth Gordon won a best supporting actress Academy Award for ROSEMARY'S BABY.

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“People Are So Concerned About…Dogs”

 

 (imdb)

THE BODY SNATCHER-1945-Edinburgh 1831-Dr. MacFarland (Henry Daniell), a clinical no nonsense teacher at a medical school has cab man Grey (Boris Karloff; in ISLE OF THE DEAD the same year) steal bodies from cemeteries for medical experiments. MacFarland's new assistant Fettes (Russell Wade) has a conscience and doesn't like his boss’ methods. He wants MacFarland to do an operation on a crippled child but he refuses. Grey seems to have something on the doctor. When MacFarland says he needs a new body to work on, Fettes goes to Grey who kills a young female street singer (Donna Lee). When Fettes wants to tell the police, MacFarland convinces him not too. 

Meanwhile, handyman Joseph (Bela Lugosi; also in ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY the same year) hangs around, listening. He tries to blackmail Grey but Grey kills him. Later MacFarland has had enough of Grey and kills him but unfortunately for the good doctor Grey isn't done with him! 

This is probably the best of the Val Lewton-Karloff collaborations with Boris giving a command performance and Daniell a close second. Edith Atwater co-stars along with bits by Robert Clarke, Mary Gordon and Bill Williams. This was director Robert Wise's second film for producer Lewton (who co-wrote the screenplay based on a story by Robert Louis Stevenson) after THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE (1944). Henry Daniell (who was later in several episodes of the Boris Karloff hosted “Thriller” on TV) played Prof. Moriarty against Basil Rathbone's Sherlock Holmes in THE LADY IN GREEN the same year. 

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Bounty Hunters In Italy

 

 (imdb)

THE GREAT SILENCE-1988-Somewhere in the old west (Italy), bounty hunters like Loco (Klaus Kinski; in I BASTARDI the same year)) are out of control and the governor wants to put a stop to it. Roaming the countryside is Silence (Jean-Louis Trintignant from A MAN AND A WOMAN (1966)), a gunfighter who's hired by families to kill bounty hunters to avenge the deaths of their loved ones. A widow (Vonetta McGee; later in BLACULA (1972)) hires Silence to kill Loco who murdered her husband. Meanwhile, a store owner hires Loco to kill Silence. In recent years critics go on and on about this western allegory that tries way too much to be like Leone (Ennio Morricone scored it) and director Sergio Corbucci (also one of the screenwriters) needs a history lesson.

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TV Power

 

 (imdb)

THE POWER WITHIN-1979-Unreleased TV movie about stunt pilot Chris Darrow (Art Hindle), obnoxious and conceited, who is struck by lightning and gets some special powers. He can shoot electricity from His fingers. He goes to his estranged father, Gen. Darrow (Edward Binns) for help. After dad reveals the secret, Chris was born soon after his mom was exposed to nuclear radiation, they go to Dr. Miller (Susan Howard), who runs some tests. Harrows’ assistant Capt. Holman (Richard Sargent) is in league with some spies (David Hedison & Eric Braeden) to steal a suspended animation device NASA plans on testing. Chris can shoot energy bursts that are controlled by a watch he wears. 

This early attempt at a superhero scenario is ok for a TV production having been directed by busy John Llewellyn Moxey (THE NIGHT STALKER (1972). A story goes that this Universal TV movie had originally been planned as a big screen version of Marvel Comics' “The Human Torch” but SFX proved too costly.

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Elam On The Prowl

 

 (imdb)

THE GIRL IN LOVERS LANE-1960-Runaway rich kid Danny Winslow (Lowell Brown) meets railroad bum Bix Dugan (Brett Halsey from THE RETURN OF THE FLY (1959)) on a train car, after he's unsuccessfully mugged. They team up as drifters and land in the sleepy town of Sherman, where they have lunch at a diner run by Carrie (Joyce Meadows; THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS (1957)) and her father (Emile Meyer). Bix and Carrie hit it off but Danny gets in trouble with local floozy Peggy (Selette Cole). Meanwhile, local weird guy Jessie (Jack Elam) leers at Carrie and gives her the creeps. Bix has to break his first date with Carrie however when he and Danny get into a fight with some local “toughs”. After their next date, Bix and Danny get jobs at the diner. When things get serious between Bix and Carrie, he wants to blow town. Unfortunately, Carrie runs into Jessie and he kills her. Bix is blamed and arrested. Carrie's drunken father and his crew get Bix and dad tries to beat him to death. Fortunately, Danny makes Jessie confess. 

Pretty depressing drama directed by Charles R. Rondeau (DEVIL'S PARTNER the same year) and written by Jo Helms who later wrote PLAY MISTY FOR ME (1971). Lead actress Joyce Meadows is still living at the time of this writing. So is Brett Halsey. Male co-star Lowell Brown, also in THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH (1962), may also still be with us...

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More Harryhausen

 

 (themoviedb)

THE CLASH OF THE TITANS-1981-Baby Perseus and his mom are sacrificed to the sea by evil king, Acrisius (Donald Houston). But Perseus is actually the Son of Zeus who had a dalliance with mom Danae. Zeus orders Poseidon (Jack Gwillin) to release the Kraken and destroy the king's city. He also makes sure mom & son are safe on an island. Later when Perseus (Harry Hamlin) has grown, the goddess Thetis (Maggie Smith), mad that Zeus (Sir Lawrence Olivier) has condemned her son Calibos (Neil McCarthy), transports Perseus to the cursed city Joppa where he meets playwright Ammon (Burgess Meredith). The gods send him a sword, shield and helmet that makes him invisible. In the city, he uses the helmet to gain access to visit the princess, Andromeda (Judi Bowker), former fiancé to Calibos. He watches while her soul is carried off in a cage by a huge vulture. He captures the winged horse Pegasus so he can follow the vulture. Trailing the giant bird leads him to the swamp of Calibos, who has laid the curse on Joppa, because of his love for the princess. When A's mother, the queen (Sian Phillips) offers up her daughter, Perseus wins her and makes Calibos break the curse. Later Thetis demands Andromeda be sacrificed to the Kraken or Joppa will be destroyed. Ammon figures 3 witches (Freda Jackson, Anna Mahanan & Flora Robeson) will know how to stop the Kraken so Perseus, Andromeda and Ammon go to find them after Pegasus is kidnapped by Calibos. Perseus loses his helmet but that's replaced by Bubo, a mechanical owl! The witches tell him to go to the isle of the dead and slay the Medusa. Her head will turn the Kraken to stone. They encounter a skeleton ferry man, a two headed dog and bow and arrow wielding serpents. Then giant scorpions created by Medusa’s blood (thanks to Colicos). After Perseus and Colicos have a showdown, with Bubo's help, Perseus gets Pegasus back and saves the day and Andromeda. Also with Claire Bloom as Hera, Ursula Andress and pro-wrestler Pat Roach. 

This of course features wonderful stop action sfx by the legendary Ray Harryhausen which is the highlight of this ok all-star production. Directed by Desmond Daves and written by Beverley Cross who earlier had penned JASON AND THE ARGONAUNTS (1963) and SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER (1977).

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TV Movie Gone Wrong

 

 (the moviedb.org)

THE LEGEND OF CUSTER-1968-This TV movie/pilot is based on the life of General George Custer, the arrogant, self-possessed Indian hater (Wayne Maunder) later known as the man who led his troop of solders to slaugh-ter at The Little Big Horn. Here he's only a Colonel because he's been suspended from being a General for one year due to insubordination. He's under the command of General Terry (Robert F. Simon) who wants Custer to clean up the 7^th Calvary. One of the fort's scout California Joe (Slim Pickens) is his old friend. A postal worker, Tymen (William Mims) is selling guns to the Indians who go on a rampage stealing gold and cash from white men to pay for the weapons. 

This is a real spin doctoring story (“suggested by” Larry Cohen) with the fool hardy disgraced General trying to save the west by provoking the vicious native Americans. He later somehow meets up with Crazy Horse (Michael Dante) to escape The Blackfoot tribe. They have a knife fight in a cave and eat raw worms. Custer preaches peace but Crazy only wants war. Norman Foster and Sam Wanamaker are the credited directors. Also with Mary Ann Mobley and Rodolfo Acosta.

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Merry Christmas (a little late)

 

 (imdb)

THE DEATH AND PASSION OF CHRIST-1903-Considered the first feature length film, this is the life of Jesus shown in several episodes, from his birth to his Ascension. It's a pretty great film considering it's age. Made in France with tinted scenes and interesting sfx. The acting is a little over the top but that's not uncommon for a silent film. The original director Ferdinand Zecca had a falling out with producer Charles Pathe' so Lucien Nonguet finished it.

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Nemo

 

THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND-1961-In 1865, during the second siege of Richmond, 3 Union soldiers prisoners Capt. Harding (Michael Craig), Corporal Neb Nugget (Dan Jackson) and Herbert Brown (Michael Callan) escape in a hit air observation balloon along with Union reporter Spilitt (Gary Merrill) and rebel Sgt. Pencroft (Percy Herbert). After they crash the balloon in the ocean, they wind up on an island surrounded by a volcano. After eating giant oysters, they are attacked by a giant crab which they manage to kill, boil and eat. 

While exploring they find a rowboat containing the upper-class twit Lady Fairchild (Joan Greenwood) and her niece Elena (Beth Rogan) who’s boat was wrecked. They build huts and try to get along. It seems an unknown presence is also helping them. Neb finds a trunk that they determine belonged to the infamous Capt. Nemo, now presumed dead. Then they are attacked by a giant chicken monster. It seems like Herbert kills it but while eating it they learn it was shot by a bullet. Herb and Elena fall in love and are menaced by giant bees and sealed in a honeycomb. They escape and discover Nemo's powerful sub, The Nautilus. Then the group is attacked by pirates but something sinks their ship. Of course, Nemo (Herbert Lom) is still alive but the Nautilus is broken. He devises a plan to re-float the pirate ship he sunk so they can leave before the volcano blows. Problems arise especially from a giant octopus. 

THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND is the sixth collaboration between producer Charles Scheer and SFX genius Ray Harryhausen, who's stop motion effects in this film are fabulous. The music is by Bernard Heerman conducting the London Symphony Orchestra. The story is loosely based on the 1874 novel of the same name by Jules Verne. Nice direction by Cy Enfield who was blacklisted in the 1950's and relocated to England.

This is actually the second adaptation of the Verne novel. There's a silent version:

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/4609335177952045780/8713781552753740202

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Mr. BIG's Giant Bugs

 

 (imdb)

THE BEGINNING OF THE END-1957-When the town of Ludlow, Illinois is mysteriously destroyed and the army blocks all roads, famous reporter Audrey Ames (Peggie Castle; later in the TV series “Lawman”) inves-tigates. Col. Strugeon (Thomas B. Henry) and Captain Barton (James Seay) give her the lowdown on Ludlow and later let her visit the destruction. Nearby, she meets agriculturalist/entomologist Ed Wainwright (Peter Graves; in BAYOU the same year), his mute assistant Frank (Than Wyenn) and their large experimental vegetables. When the 3 of them investigate a warehouse wreck, they discover giant locusts are causing the destruction and poor Frank is killed. They tell Strugeon but he doesn't believe them until he takes out a platoon and they are attacked. Ed figures the locusts got big eating his radiated vegetables. General Hanson (Morris Ankrum) sends General Short (Frank Wilcox) back to Illinois with Ed and Audrey where the locusts are on the march. Unfortunately, the government orders Hanson to drop an A-bomb on Chicago if Ed can't come up with a solution! After they capture a live giant locust, Ed discovers a high frequency signal that drive the horde into the water. 

The sfx are really laughable even by director Bert I. Gordon standards. Scenes of the locusts crawling up buildings are them just crawling over pictures! Also with Richard Benedict and Hank Patterson. Mr. BIG made two other classic low budget features in 1957: THE CYCLOPS and THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN.

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More Activity

 

 (imdb)

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION-2015-It's hard to believe this is the 6th installment of this series which takes place after Part 4 but also involves part 3. A man and wife and their young daughter move into a house and are ready to celebrate Christmas with the guy’s brother. They discover a box of old VHS tapes and watch them. They make their own tapes because there seems to be some kind of spirit in their house. Their daughter talks about an entity named Tobi. They enlist the help of a priest. A coven of witches called “The Midwives” seem to be using children to bring Tobi to life. Why do they bother? 

This was director Gregory Plotkin's first movie after being editor on most of the other entries into this series.

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Revenge of Interesting Videos I Found

Only footage from the lost Lon Chaney film The Miracle Man:

https://youtu.be/Z_Mk4pjydBk?si=tnKBPzLCEYGMUOPm

TV ad for Japanese amusement park:

https://youtu.be/svHb1txvkP4?si=d-B9USjRpBEOZNl0

LOL!:

https://youtu.be/PmcMBnuIE6I?si=Vu4WtThDmxZuUFHd

The Phantom of The Opera mystery:

https://youtu.be/XfVj7RtsYxw?si=czCn_1J_oUbk6EqQ

Unaired The Munsters TV pilot:

https://youtu.be/pXI6ywpKbd8?si=VlBhh_w1Xnh3l6cF

UFO Patents:

https://youtu.be/Ty068FYmJWM?si=L4ZayGqRHKTcR9jz

City Hunting

 

 (imdb)

WALK THE DARK STREET-1956-Frank Garrick (Chuck Connors), vengeful former big game hunter with a bad heart hooks discharged Army Lt. Dan Lawton (Don Ross) into a contest where they hunt each other in the city using special guns he designed. The bullets are not made to kill but Garrick has real ammo as he blames Lawton for the death of his brother, Tommy. While hunting each other, Lawton meets Tommy’s former fiance Helen (Regina Gleason), who tells Lawton not to trust Frank, who reveals his lunatic side and slaps Helen around. Later, the tables are turned. 

Very low budget film noir though well done by Wyott Ordung, the writer of the notorious ROBOT MONSTER (1953), who also appears briefly as a hotel clerk.

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Bank Robbing

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE ST. LOUIS BANK ROBBERY-1959-Naive college dropout George Fowler (Steve McQueen) is hired by some gay bank robbers to drive their getaway car. Though they seem to carefully plan everything, it ends badly. McQueen is good but the rest of the cast isn't up to it in this low budget film noir crime drama with 2 directors credited. One is Charles Guggenheim who later won three Academy Awards for short subject documentaries. The other, John Stix, directed a few films for TV. The script by Richard Heffron (who later directed FUTURE WORLD (1976)) is based on the real-life robbery in 1953.

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Early Chan

 

 (imdb)

DRAGON FIST-1979-Ton Huo-wan (Jackie Chan) seeks retribution for the death of his master by the villainous Master Li. He travels with his master's widow and daughter. He gets caught in a war between a clan ran by a one-legged master and a band of “gangsters”. He joins the gangsters to get medicine for the widow.

Fairly entertaining early Chan outing is constricted by a low budget and usually pushed aside. Directed by Wei Lo (THE BIG BOSS; NEW FISTS OF FURY).

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The Demon Way In Hell

 

 (imdb)

 

LONE WOLF AND CUB: SWORD OF VENGEANCE-1972-Ogami Itto (Tomisuburo Wakayama), the Shogunate's executioner is framed as being a traitor by Retsudo and the Ura-Yagyu clan. They kill his wife and he vows revenge. Two years later Orgami is a Ronin (masterless Samu-rai) traveling the countryside with his young son, Daigoro (Akihiro Tomikawa), his sword for hire. Daigoro rides in a deadly wooden baby cart. 

This is a gory, blood spurting samurai craziness based on the manga of the same name. It also features dismemberment and nudity. The first in a series of 6, the first three and the fifth were directed by Kenji Misumi.

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And Then There's Maud...

 

 (themoviedb.org)

ST. MAUD-2019-Religiously devout hospice worker, Maud (Morfydd Clark), wonders what God has in store for her. She takes care of woman, Amanda (Jennifer Ehle) a former dancer, now crippled. Maud thinks it's up to her to save the woman but she winds up slapping her and getting fired. She wanders around talking to God, having sex and vomiting. 

Psychological bs, with good acting, from writer/director Rose Glass. Pay attention to the final scene.

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Mild Mandrake

 

 (themoviedb.org)

MANDRAKE-1979-In 1948, a plane crashes in the Himalayas. All the passengers are killed except for a small boy. He's taken in by some monks but he remembers nothing, not even his name. Fast forward to Las Vegas, where he's now Mandrake the Magician (Anthony Herrera; later a regular on the soap opera “As The World Turns”) performing a magic show that includes making women levitate and turning them into lions. He's assisted by Stacy (Simone Griffeth) and Lothar (Ji-Tu Cumbuka). The government wants his help investigating a huge conglomerate run by Arcadian (Robert Reed) and a missing file. His friend Jennifer (Gretchen Corbett) claims that her father, who was killed in car crash, is still alive. Mandrake wears “the amulet of wizards” and can read minds. It’s actually all a huge extortion plot by ex-agent Romero (Peter Haskell) and his use of Stacy’s father's mind process machine. Also with James Hong and real-life magician Harry Blackstone Jr. 

The character of Mandrake was created by comic strip writer/artist Lee Falk in 1934 (Falk later on also created "The Phantom"). There was a 12 part serial produced in 1939. In the 1960's, Frederico Fellini had planned on making a version but it went un-produced. Director Harry Falk (no relation to the Mandrake creator) did tons of TV work.

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Funny, Ha Ha...

 

 (themoviedb.org)

RUMOURS-2024-Horror comedy political satire with the leaders (including Cate Blanchett and Charles Dance) of the 7 democratic nations meeting at the G7 conference and getting lost in a forest. They later encounter a woman who rants about “the night queen” and a giant brain and occasionally zombies. It all seems to be the work of some AI child predator tracker. Bloated nonsense, lost in some hidden rhetoric only the 3 directors (including Guy Maddin) may understand.

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Fourth And Final..??

 

 (imdb)

SPECIES: THE AWAKENING-2007-A college professor Tom (Ben Cross) admits to his fake niece Miranda (Helena Mattsson) she was created in a lab from DNA strains from outer space. After she transforms into a monster with a deadly tongue and slaughters a hospital staff, Tom takes her to Mexico. While searching for his former partner Forbes, he's chased by a monster Nun. Finally, he meets Forbes (Dominic Keating), an idiot English guy who makes clones of dead people using the alien DNA. 

Like the first 3, it features nudity, an alien sex scene, gory SFX and is clearly the worst in the series. Director Nick Lyon has made a lot of mindless junk like ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2011) and RISE OF THE ZOMBIES (2012).

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Three Species You're Out

 

 (imdb)

SPECIES 3-2004-Two soldiers are driving an ambulance with the thought to be dead Eve but Eve (Natasha Henstridge) comes back to life and gives birth just before she is strangled to death by one of her offspring, a young boy with a tentacle for a tongue. One guy is killed but the driver who is actually Dr. Abbott (Robert Knepper), a college professor, escapes with the newborn. Soon the baby is a little girl named Sara. Abbott who is obviously mad (and whispers a lot) wants to become famous in “the pantheon of science”. He enlists one of his students Dean (Robin Dunn) to help him. Sara (Sunny Mabrey) grows to adult very fast and walks around naked. She kills the head of Dean's department (Christopher Neame). When Dean wants to call the cops, Abbott convinces him it's all for science. Dopey Dean agrees to help him. Sara's not interested in mating with humans. She's looking for someone like her. Something called The Tokamak. A fusion reactor comes in handy in the climax. 

Unfortunately, the end sets up another sequel. Director Brad Turner was pretty prolific on TV until sometime convinced him directing this useless sequel would be a good idea.

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Wolf's Blood

 

 (imdb)

WOLFBLOOD-1925-In the Canadian wilderness. Dick Bannister (George Chesbro, also the co-director), is field boss of the Ford logging Co. Jules Deveroux (Roy Watson), is the “unscrupulous” owner of Consolidated Lumber and Bannister's enemy. Also involved is Jacques Lebec (Milburn Morante), half breed bootlegger. The owner of the company is Edith Ford (Marguerite Clayton) who's fiancé is Dr. Horton (Ray Hanford). Ban-
nister requests a surgeon and insists the owner come too. Edith, Horton and Edith's uncle (Jack Cosgrave) go there. Later Bannister is hurt and needs a blood transfusion. The only blood available is from a wolf. The doctor does the transfusion. Later thanks to the treacherous Lebec (who wouldn't give his own blood), everyone knows Bannister has wolf's blood in him and treat him like a leper. 

This is not really a horror film but more a romantic love triangle with hints of the supernatural. Star Chesbro later made low budget westerns in the sound era, then was regulated to uncredited roles in films and on TV. He made around 400 appearances in total (his name was spelled differently at various points in his career).

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The Falcon Flies In

 

 

THE GAY FALCON-1941-Gay Lawrence aka The Falcon (George Sanders) has quit his crime adventures and womanizing and settle down with his partner Goldy (Allen Jenkins) to become stockbrokers on Wall St. No sooner does he tell his fiancée Elinor (Ann Hunter) that he's ready to make a new start when he's visited by Helen Reed (Wendy Barrie), secretary to socialite Maxine Woods (Gladys Cooper), who it seems is robbed of some jewelry every time she throws a party. Of course, Lawrence can't resist another case. 

When another socialite Mrs. Gardner is murdered, Lawrence gets involved with Goldy as a material witness and Mrs. Gardner’s missing diamond is in his own pocket. Police chief Waldeck (Arthur Shields) thinks Lawrence is a murderer and Lawrence who has several run-ins with detective Bates (Edward Brophy) thinks the prime suspect is the mysterious Retana (Turhan Bey). With Hans Conreid is a police sketch artist, Willie Fung and Bobby Barber. 

This was the first of 16 film adaptations of the private detective known as The Falcon. George Sanders, who had also starred as “The Saint”, did several films then “grew bored” with role turning it over to his real-life brother Tom Conway. Irving Reis directed this entertaining, slightly lighthearted crime mystery. He directed 2 more in the series and later made a film adaptation of the Arthur Miller play ALL MY SONS (1948).

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Rocky Jones

 

 (imdb)

MANHUNT IN SPACE-1954-Rocky Jones (Richard Crane) & Winky (Scotty Beckett) race to save Vina (Sally Mansefield) from space pirates led by Earth renegades, Rinkman (Henry Brandon) and Dr. Venco (Gabriel Curtiz). She's saved and they go to Cassa-7 to visit her brother, Paul (Tom Brown). The pirates are working for Cheolanta (Patsy Parsons), the ice queen of planet Ophesius. Her assistant is Atlasan (Harry Lauter). Rocky uses Cold Light, the invention of Prof. Newton (Maurice Cass) to find the bad guys. James Griffith is a traitor working on Cassas-7. Hagar Nu (Ted Hecht) a Martian, fits into the story too. Also with Judd Holdren who was the third actor to play Commando Cody in serial and on TV around the same time. This is three episodes of the popular TV space adventure “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger”. It's pretty low budget and also features Robert Leyden as little known it all Bobby.

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Buster Times 2

 (imdb)

SHERLOCK JUNIOR-1924-A movie projectionist (Buster Keaton, who also produced and directed) tries to solve the theft of some pearls after he's framed for stealing a watch belonging to the father (Buster's father Joe) of a woman (Kathyrn McGuire) he's sweet on. 

Very clever and funny with a couple of great stunts. The story is credited to Jean Havez & Joe Mitchell and Clyde Bruckman who all worked on many Keaton films.

 (imdb)

BATTLING BUTLER-1926-Socialite Alfred Butler (Buster Keaton; also in the director's chair) goes on a hunting trip and falls in love but his valet (Snitz Edwards) tells the woman (Sally O'Neill) and everyone else that his boss is boxer Battling Butler and then the trouble starts. Especially when the real boxer (Francis McDonald) shows up. 

This is pretty funny but it doesn't have the wild stunts like some of Buster's other comedies. The training scene is great though. Released the same year as Keaton's THE GENERAL, it's regarded as one of the comedian's best. 

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No, It's A Real Movie!

 

 (themoviedatabase.org)

IMAGINARY-2024-More derivative, unoriginal horror, this time with an interracial couple (DeWanda Wise, Tom Payne) moving into her childhood home with his two kids. The older teenager Taylor (Taegan Burns) is a bitch who doesn't like her black stepmother, Jessica. The cute younger sister Alice (Pyper Braun) seems to come under the influence of a teddy bear she finds in the basement. There's a lot of false scares and psycho-logical claptrap. Later a crazy neighbor (Betty Buckley) helps them visit a dark strange place where Alice has been taken. There they are menaced by the girls’ real mom and an evil giant Muppet bear. 

Dreadful junk but what can you expect from director Jeff Wadlow, who made KICK ASS-2 and a horror movie version of TV's “Fantasy Island”?

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Warning! Bad Sequel Ahead!

 

 (imdb)

SPECIES 2-1998-A lab, lead by Dr. Baker (Marg Helgenberger) recreates the original Sil from a frozen embryo so they can study it and determine how to fight it if one ever comes to Earth again (sounds like a bad idea). Baker and the new Sil now named Eve (Natasha Henstridge), seem to be friends. Meanwhile, 3 astronauts return from space. Capt. Patrick Ross (Justin Lazard), lead astronaut, whose father is a senator (John Crom-well), is infected by a similar alien and impregnates two women who almost immediately die while giving birth. A clumsy scientist Orinsky (Baxter Harris) breaks a beaker which contains alien blood. 

A one-eyed Colonel (George DeZundza) calls in a now reluctant Press Lennox (Michael Madsen) to find the new alien. A doctor named Crom-well (uncredited Peter Boyle) who discovered there may be life on Mars might be able to help but he's in a padded cell. Ross prowls around impregnating and killing women. Eve has a kind of psychic connection with Ross which helps Lennox, now joined by astronaut Gamble (Mykelti Williamson), to track him down. 

Most of this loser sequel seems to be an excuse to show a lot of gratuitous gore, violence, rape and topless women. It also includes several creatures bursting ALIEN like from women’s stomachs. Pretty bad. It bombed but of course another sequel was made. Filmed in Baltimore. 

Director Peter Medak in better times made THE RULING CLASS (1972), LET HIM HAVE IT (1990) and THE KRAYS (1991).

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Alien DNA Monster

 

 (themoviedb.org)

SPECIES-1995-A kind of mad scientist (Ben Kingsley) puts alien DNA into a human fetus and winds up with an alien human female monster that kills and regenerates. He puts together a group to hunt it. An assassin (Michael Madsen), 2 scientists (Alfred Molina, Marg Helgenberger) and an empath (Forest Whitaker). Named Sil, she/it (Natasha Henstridge) is looking for a mate. After a lot of killing she gives birth and the climax takes place in an underground cave. It was ok and the cast is good. 

Director Roger Donaldson directed big-budgeted things like THE BOUNTY (1984) with Mel Gibson, NOW WAY OUT (1987) with Kevin Costner and COCKTAIL (1988) with Tom Cruise. After this he made the mad volcano hit DANTE'S PEAK (1996). Of course, they couldn't quit while they were ahead...

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Buster 3 Times

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE THREE AGES-1923-3 stories featuring the one and only Buster Keaton. The first story is set in prehistoric times. Keaton is a caveman who rides a stop motion dinosaur. He’s sweet on Wee-gee (Margaret Leahy in her only movie role), a cave woman. But his elephant trading rival (Wallace Beery) likes her too. The second story takes place in Rome. A low ranking Roman (Keaton)) is in love with a woman (Leahy) also being courted by a high ranking official (Beery again).The third is set in the modern day. A young man (Buster again) tries to win a woman (Leahy again) despite the fact that she is also being wooed by a rich businessman (Beery of course). 

There's lots of great slapstick in the great Keaton style. It was his first full length film which he also directed (with help from longtime colla-borator Eddie Cline). Some think it's a parody of DW Griffith's BIRTH OF A NATION but it seems more like a takeoff on Griffith's INTOLERANCE (1916) to me.

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Witney Western

 

 (imdb)

THE LONG ROPE-1961-In a town run by a rancher named Ben Matthews (Robert J. Wilke), a judge (Hugh Marlowe) comes to preside over the trial of a Mexican accused of killing Matthew's brother. With the reluctant help of the sheriff (Alan Hale, Jr.), Stone investigates. He also meets gun-slinger Reb (Chris Robinson) who tries to reform. There's a trial where the real murderer is revealed and a quick gun fight. Also with William Kerwin and Lisa Montell. 

The Long Rope was produced by actress Margia Dean (she's in MESA OF LOST WOMEN). She hired veteran B-movie director William Witney who does a good job with this low budget minor western. Dean had planned at least one more movie but no more were ever made.

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A Pair of Palances

 

 (imdb)

HOUSE OF NUMBERS-1957-Arnie Judlow (Jack Palance) is in San Quentin after killing a man. His wife Ruth (Barbara Lang) and his twin brother Bill (also Palance) plan to help him escape. It's a little complicated and dangerous, playing on the twin aspect. They switch roles and Bill meets cellmate Frenchy (Timothy Carey with a hearing aid) while Arnie builds a hiding place at night. Later, Bill leaves the prison and Arnie plans his escape. He breaks out but nosy prison guard Hank Nova (Harold J. Stone) makes too many educated guesses. Edward Platt is a helpful warden. 

Far-fetched but enjoyable film noir with Palance good in the dual role. Earlier director Russell Rouse had written D.O.A. (1949) and directed THE THIEF (1952), a movie with no dialogue and WICKED WOMAN (1953) starring his wife, Beverley Michaels. He later directed THE OSCAR (1966), sometimes named one of the worst movies ever made. Hey! Nobody's perfect!

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It's The Limit

 

 (wkipedia)

CITY LIMITS-1984-After a plague kills off most adults, a young guy, Lee (John Stockwell) goes to the city to join The Clippers. He and Yogi (Rae Dawn Chong) fight a gang dressed as nurses. James Earl Jones is Albert, Lee's mentor, who helps them fight the army of overacting evil. Carver (Robby Benson) is behind a plot and sits at a desk for his few scenes (they could have been filmed in his home!). Also with Kim Cattrall, Pamela Ludwig and Don Keith Opper (also a co-writer).  

Stupid hi-jinx from director/co-writer Arnold Lipstadt a few years after his first film ANDROID (1982). At least that movie had Klaus Kinski in it...

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More Zombies

 

 (imdb)

NIGHTMARE CITY-1980-A plane full of zombies lands in an airfield and kills everyone there including an army patrol sent to investigate. Only 2 reporters seem to escape. The zombies use machetes, machine guns and their teeth. One of the reporters, Dean Miller (Hugo Stiglitz), tries to make a special broadcast warning but it's cut off by Gen Murchison (Mel Ferrer) who doesn't want to cause a panic. Miller quits his job in protest and Major Holmes (Francisco Rabal) is called in. The dead totally overrun a hospital where Miller's nurse/girlfriend Anna (Laura Trotter) works. The zombies drive cars, shoot guns, drink blood and murder and seem to be loosely organized. This Italian cannibal zombie isn't that good and the ending is a letdown. 

Director Umberto Lenzi made this between his two other cannibal movies EATEN ALIVE! (1980) (also with Mel Ferrer) and the infamous CANNIBAL FEROX (1981). Star Hugo Stiglitz was in 100 of European films including SURVIVE! (1976) and GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED (1979).

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Rats, Rats, Thousands of Rats...In Hollywood

 

 (themoviedatabase)

RENFIELD-2023-Big budget Hollywood garbage. If producers, directors and writers don't understand how to make a decent horror movie they shouldn't bother. They just fill the screen with violence and gore and make a guy (Nicholas Hoult) who eats bugs the hero. Then they get nearly has been actor Nicholas Cage to play Dracula like an overacting ninny. (I guess they all forgot about VAMPIRE'S KISS (1988)) It was a box office bomb and deservedly so. Director Chris McKay should stick to Legos and Robot Chickens.

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Lord Of The Jungle

 

 (imdb)

TARZAN AND THE AMAZONS-1945-Palmiria is a hidden city of women led by an old queen (Maria Ouspenskaya). Tarzan (Johnny Weismuller) and Boy (Johnny Sheffield) go up river to meet Jane (Brenda Joyce in her first of 5 Tarzan movies), who's been in England. Along the way the lord of the jungle saves an Amazon and takes her back to the hidden city. Meanwhile, Jane brings along family friend Sir Guy Henderson (Harry Stephenson) and some other goomers. Post operator Ballister (Barton MacLane) gets an eye full of a gold bracelet that the girl dropped and Cheetah picked up. Sir Guy and his archaeologists are interested too. Tarzan won't take them to the secret land but angry Boy does. 

Once there, the groups' lives are spared but they must remain in Pal-miria for the rest of their lives serving the sun god. The woman who Tarzan saved helps them escape but Ballister gets greedy and wants all the gold. He kills the woman and Sir Guy. Amazons pick off the escaping crooks but Ballister and his flunky Anders (Don Douglas) escape with some sacred relics. Boy is condemned to death (it really was all his fault). When Tarzan confronts the greedy duo, they fall into quicksand and die. Tarzan returns the relics and saves Boy. Cheetah is really annoying in this. 

German born Kurt Neumann (SECRET OF THE BLUE ROOM (1933)) would also direct the next two installments in the series and in 1958 made THE FLY (his last film).

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