I Havw A Gift For Disaster

 

 

 (themoviedb.org)

THE MEDUSA TOUCH-1978-A French police inspector Brunel (Lino Ventura; A PAIN IN THE ASS (1973)) investigates the burgeoning almost death of a famous writer, John Morlar (Richard Burton). Brunel tries to put together a motive. Morlar's psychiatrist (Lee Remick) says Morlar was paranoiac who said he killed an evil nanny and his unloving parents. An assistant commissioner (Harry Andrews) puts pressure on Brunel to find the culprit. Morlar's publisher (Derek Jacobi) relates a flashback involving a tramp. In fact, most of this film is told in flashback by people who knew him. It seems everyone who wronged him dies. A lawyer (Alan Badel), a fortune teller (Michael Hordern), a judge (THE HORRIBLE DR. HITCHCOCK's Robert Flemyng), his wife Patricia (Marie-Christine Barrault) and her lover (Jeremy Brett). According to his cynical doctor (Gordon Jackson), Morlar's own mind is keeping him alive.

 Great disastrous climax with a twist ending. Unheralded all-star horror mystery directed by Jack Gold (THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT (1975)). The year before this, Burton had made the almost unwatchable THE EXORCIST 2 but was also nominated for a best actor Oscar for EQUUS.

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Father Fritz

 

 (imdb)

JAWS OF SATAN-1981-In a small Alabama town, Evelyn, a modern-day witch (Diana Douglas) tells a disillusioned priest Father Tom (Fritz Weaver), the devil is after him. Meanwhile, a satanic snake slithers around killing people. A local doctor (Gretchen Corbett) calls in a herpetologist (Jon Korkes, a terrible actor) to look at some toxic corpses. The priest consults his monsignor (Norman Lloyd) who clues him in on what's happening. A crazy cursed druid is to blame, an ancestor of Tom's. 

The whole story is kind of murky and there are some unintentional laughs. This is one of the few feature films directed by Bob Claver, a busy TV director. It also features Christina Applegate from TV's “Married With Children” in her first role.

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Zap!

 

 (themoviedb)

ZAPPA-2020-This documentary opens with Frank Zappa addressing a audience in Czechoslovakia right after The Velvet Revolution at what would be his last recorded concert. Then it's mostly FZ pontificating on his life, music, the record business, the government, Edgard Varese', etc. What really makes this interesting is that all the interviews are found footage. Nothing was recorded by FZ (who died in 1993) for this bio. There is also some amazing footage of the original Mothers, a young Captain Beefheart, photo shoots and concert footage. Alice Cooper, Ruth Underwood, Bunk Gardner, The GTOs, Ian Underwood, Bruce Bickford, Steve Vai, Ray White, Gail Zappa (who died in 2015), Mike Keneally and others are interviewed in new footage. 

Nice effort by director Alex Winter (BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE). He's directed a lot of movies apparently but the only other one I've seen is FREAKED (1993).

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Never Made

 

 (youtube)

JODOROWSKY'S DUNE-2013-This is a documentary about the "greatest film never made". Really, if you're interested in hearing about several happily insane individuals who all got together to try and make a film adaptation of Frank Herbert's “Dune” this is a great movie for you. Alejandro Jodorowsky Never (EL TOPO)  talks about his "dream" of making this adaptation, how he cajoled people like Salvadore Dali and Orson Welles into taking roles and other actors he wanted (David Carradine, Gloria Swanson, Udo Kier, Mick Jagger), hiring Dan O'Bannon, HR Giger, Chris Foss and Moebius to create the storyboards and scenery and how Hollywood studios liked the idea but "feared" Jodorowsky as the director. Since the humongous storyboard was shopped around so many studios, the film makes a good point that even though it was never filmed Dune influenced Star Wars, The Terminator and a whole host of others. Directed by Frank Pavich.

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Rise Of The Rip-Off

 

 

 (imdb)

RISE OF THE ZOMBIES-2012-A group from a research lab venture into the city because they believe a cure for a zombie plague is there, created by a scientist (French Stewart) with a monkey. Meanwhile another scientist (Levar Burton) stays behind doing experiments on the living dead (including his wife). This is another blatant rip-off from The Asylum, this time copying Romero's Dead series (especially DAY). The cast (including Mariel Hemingway, Danny Trejo, Ethan Suplee, Heather Hemmens) is whittled down and eaten. 

Director Nick Lyon also made ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2011).

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If I Only Had A Brain Machine

 

 (imdb)

THE BRAIN MACHINE-1972-Four people volunteer for a government experiment run by two weird male doctors (Gil Peterson and Doug Collins) and female doc (Barbara Burgess) for the Environmental Control Center. Nothing much happens except the 4 have a lot of hang ups. Everything goes awry in this confused low budget boredom. 

With Gerald McRaney as one of the guinea pigs, Stuart Lancaster as a senator and James Best as a preacher. Director Joy N. Houck Jr. had previously made NIGHT OF BLOODY HORROR (1969) and WOMEN AND BLOODY TERROR (1970), both with McRaney.

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Happy?

 

 (imdb)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY-2023-More self-indulgent horror junk from incompetent people who think they know how to make a movie. An escaped killer terrorizes some jerks at a secluded house. This convoluted nonsense has bad acting, a terrible script and piss poor direction. The lead actress is named Kim Sandwich but you'll be wishing you ordered a meatball hero and were watching another movie.

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Revoke Her Visa!

 

 (tmdb)

EMANUELLE IN AMERICA-1977-Low budget sex-oriented junk with fashion photographer Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) getting involved with a white slavery ring and snuff films while taking off her clothes at the drop of a hat. As usual Gemser's then husband Gabrielle Tinti co-stars. Pretty badly made, this Italian production was directed by Joe D'Amato (ANTROPOPHAGUS (1980),ABSURD (1981) and many other titles with the name Emanuelle in them).

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The Acker-Monster

 

 (imdb)

HOORAY FOR HORRORWOOD-FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND-1991-Forrest J. Ackerman (occasionally appearing as a vampire) talks about himself, his creation "Famous Monsters of Filmland", the Acker-Mansion, Karloff, the monster, Chaney Jr. & Sr., Vincent Price, Metropolis, Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds" broadcast and more. A guy named Bill Malone explains a lot about “Robby the Robot”.  

It's awesome to see all the relics in "The Acker-Mansion" but it's also sad to realize it no longer exists….

Ray Bradbury, Linnea Quigley, Robert Englund, Zacherle, Sara Karloff, Mick Garris and Bobbie Bresee also appear.

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Spook Stooges

 

 (youtube)

SPOOKS!-1953-In this 3 Stooges (Moe, Larry & Shemp) short (originally shown in 3-D; one of two they made in '53) the trio are detectives trying to rescue a young woman Bea Bopper (Norma Randall) from the clutches of two mad scientists Dr. Jekyll (Phillip Van Zandt) and Mr. Hyde (Tom Kennedy) who want to put her brain into a gorilla (Steve Calvert). Naturally pies play a role in the story and a lot of things are thrust at the screen (a hypo, a bat, Larry's face, Moe's eye poking fingers, a knife, etc.). However, the strangest effect is the bat that looks like Shemp! (5 years before THE FLY!) It's pretty hilarious. 

The Stooges made all of their 190 (!) short films for Columbia Pictures from 1934-1959. This is said to be one of quickest made as the studio wanted to cash in on the 3-D fad. Jules White directed and/or produced the lion share of the trio's shorts. Screenwriter Felix Adler was an experienced gag man who also wrote for Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello.

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