Not So Super Hero

ELEKTRA-2005-This isn’t a sequel to DAREDEVIL as much as a spin-off but really it’s not much of a movie. Elektra (pouty puss Jennifer Garner) is brought back to life to battle “The Hand”, a mystic Japanese ninja thing. Terence Stamp is Stick, her blind “sensei”. The ridiculous clichéd storyline also has the ressurrected heroine protecting a man and his daughter after she decides not to kill them. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa is also in it. Director Rob Bowman made REIGN OF FIRE and a lot of TV.

Thanks for reading!

Live Action Manga

THE GUYVER-1991-This is a crazy kind of Sci-Fi superhero comedy drama based on a Japanese manga.

A scientist working for the evil Chronus corporation has created “the most dangerous technology since the atom bomb”. It's called The Guyver, an armor that sort of fuses with the body. It looks like an sinister version of Ultra-Man.

Chronus CEO Balcus (David Gale from RE-ANIMATOR in his last role) wants the armor. His semi-comical goon squad includes Jimmy Walker, Michael Berryman and Spice Williams. They can all mutate into monsters too. After the scientist is killed a dumb martial arts student (Jack Armstrong) accidentally gets the armor and must save the late scientist’s daughter (Vivian Wu). Mark Hamil is a CIA agent who helps out but becomes a monster in the climax. It’s a fun movie if you like outrageous monsters fighting with a little comedy thrown in.

Linnea Quigley has one scream, I mean scene and REANIMATOR star Jeffery Combs has a small role. Co-director Screaming Mad George did SFX on many movies (including BRIDE OF THE RE-ANIMATOR) but this is his only full length feature credit.

Co-director Steve Wang later made a sequel GUYVER: DARK HERO and episodes of MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS. If THE GUYVER seems to have a lot of Re-Animator connects, Brian Yuzna was the producer.



Thanks for reading!

Not That Much Soul

ALL SOUL’S DAY-2005-2 couples wander into a desert town in Mexico and interrupt a human sacrifice (during The Day of The Dead) thus setting into motion the return of the town’s murdered dead. David Keith is the local sheriff who rips a girls tongue out and creepy Danny Trejo is the guy who started it all years before by becoming immortal. 

Several TV actors star. Laura Harring (from David Lynch’s MULLHOLLAND DRIVE) is in it and Jeffery Combs has a small role. It was alright but the version I saw was cut.

Director Jeremy Kasten later remade HG Lewis’ THE WIZARD OF GORE with Crispin Glover! Screenwriter Mark A. Altman wrote HOUSE OF THE DEAD and (the Star Trek related) FREE ENTERPRISE.
T
hanks for reading!

Stink-A-Roo

SKIDOO-1968-Otto Preminger directed this all-star stink bomb of a movie that tries to be a satire on the ‘60’s Hippie and drug culture and a comedy. It fails in both departments.

Former hit man Jackie Gleason is recruited by Caesar Romero and Frankie Avalon to assassinate a gangster (Mickey Rooney) turning state’s evidence. While in jail he gets help from Frank Gorshin, Michael Considine and Richard Kiel. He also accidentally ingests LSD and has a weird trip. Groucho Marx (in his last film role) is God, leader of the crime syndicate. George Raft is the captain of the ship he hides out on. Carol Channing is Gleason’s wife who sings. Arnold Stang is his friend who’s killed at the beginning. Also appearing: Peter Lawford, Burgess Meridith, Slim Pickens, Fred Clark, John Phillip Law and Austin Pendelton. Harry Nilsson (who also has a cameo) sings the end credits!

Screenwriter Doran William Cannon later wrote BREWSTER MCCLOUD and a TV adaptation of BRAVE NEW WORLD. Otto made this between BUNNY LAKE IS MISSING and TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME, JULIE MOON when his once great career was in a tailspin. He’d played the villain “Mr. Freeze” on an episode of TV’s BATMAN in 1966. I’ve read Preminger took LSD while making this movie. He must have been on something…

Apparently this has not been released on DVD (or VHS). One day it may escape!

Thanks for reading!

D Minus Is More Like It

THE A-TEAM-2010-I never matched the original A-Team TV show in the ‘80’s but it had to be better than this re-make. Liam Neeson is Col. Hannibal Smith (the character originally played by George Peppard) head of the title team. Bradley Cooper (from THE HANGOVER) is Face, Sharlto Copley (from DISTRICT 9) is Capt. Murdoch and MMA fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is B.A. They go to Iran to recover some counterfeit plates but are framed for the death of a general (Gerald McRaney) and go to jail. Later they escape and go looking for the jerk who framed them. Henry Czerny is a stupid FBI director who says “awesome” a lot. Jennifer Biel chases after them. It’s mostly yelling and explosions and a long scene in a car without any of the leads seems like a waste of time. Dirk Benedict and Dwight Schultz have cameos. Go rent the original series instead. Director Joe Carnahan also made SMOKIN’ ACES.

Thanks for reading!

Super Sisters On Cycles

DARKTOWN STRUTTERS-1975-In some ways this is the ultimate “blaxplotation” film but it's also a set-up! 4 motorcycle riding black women in outrageous psychedelic “70’s clothes hit town and promptly beat up some white Marines. The quartet is led by Syreena (Trina Parks). They beat up some racist cops (one is played by Dick Miller) several times and then run into a male gang (led by Roger E. Mosley) who they humiliate in a drag race but then become friends with. When Syreena discovers her mother has been kidnapped she investigates which leads to a plot by a Col. Sanders like mad scientist who wants to clone black leaders so they will vote for white politicians!

There’s a lot of broad comedy with sped up action scenes, fart and fat jokes, dancing and singing, guys in weird KKK robes and slapstick. Everyone acts goofy (all the white people are particularly stupid) but the story turns kind of serious when Syreena is inquiring about her mom. The other gang members are played by Edna Richardson, Bettye Sweet and Shirley Washington. SOUL TRAIN host Frankie Crocker also has a role.

Gene Corman was the producer. It was directed by B-movie veteran William Witney who made his first movie in 1937 and by this time was working mostly in TV. I often read this was his last film but according to IMDB he made one more (QUELL AND CO. in 1982). Screenwriter George Armitage wrote GAS for Roger Corman. Star Parks had an unbilled role in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER and was later in THE MUTHERS.

Thanks for reading!

They Definately Live Up To Their Name!

THE EXPENDABLES-2010-Director and star Sylvester Stallone is Barney Ross who leads a mercenary group which includes Jet Li, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture and Terry Crews. Dolph Lundgren is also part of the team but gets kicked out. Ross wants Tool (Mickey Rourke) to take his place.

Despite the odd ball cast promotion most of the film is Stallone and Stratham trying to save the daughter (Giselle Itie’) of a dictator (David Zayas) who’s teamed with an ex-CIA agent (Eric Roberts, the only real actor in the group and he wasn't even featured in the ads!) who’s bodyguard is played by pro wrestler Steve Austin. Li gets to do some martial arts toward the end and the climax is an all out violent gun and hand to hand battle. The best fight occurs during this sequence. But Stallone isn’t a great director and there’s too much CGI effects. This was a real hyped up movie that fails to deliver anything that hasn’t been done already in countless direct to video movies!

As of this writing a sequel is planned to include Jean Claude Van Damme...

Thanks for reading!

Eaten Alive!

EATEN ALIVE-1977-This was director Tobe Hooper’s follow up movie after THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. It was written by the same screenwriter, Kim Henkel and features one of it‘s stars. It didn’t get too wide of a release and was not nearly as well known as it’s predecessor. The first scene features Robert Englund as a john wanting anal sex. Not the best way to start off a movie…

Neville Brand stars a Jed, a mumbling drug addict with a fake leg who owns a motel/crocodile farm. After his attempted rape of a runaway whore (Crystin Sinclair) fails, he stabs her with a rake and feeds her to his “crocs”. A weird couple (William Finley and Marilyn Burns) and their daughter stay in a room after their dog is eaten. They argue a lot and act strange. After Jed kills the father and ties the mother to a bed he terrorizes the daughter with a scythe (she hides under the house to escape him). Meanwhile Mel Ferrer searches for his missing daughter (the first victim) and a hick sheriff (Stuart Whitman) investigates. Carolyn Jones is almost unrecognizable as Miss Matty, the owner of the local whorehouse. Jed feels nearly everyone to his crocs.

Despite Brand’s manic performance and a pretty whacked out climax EATEN ALIVE it isn’t that good! It’s drawn out and cheap looking but the excellent lighting and music help.

After this Hooper’s career kind of took an unfortunate nosedive, as he was replaced on two movies (THE DARK and VENOM) and although he has the director’s credit on POLTERGEIST it’s considered that Steven Spielberg directed most of it. He did manage to make a decent TV adaptation of Stephen King’s ’SALEM’S LOT but this was followed by disappointing features like THE FUNHOUSE, LIFEFORCE, a remake of INVADERS FROM MARS and finally TCSM-2. Lately he’s done TV episodes and another remake, THE TOOLBOX MURDERS. As for this writing he’s suppose direct a version of another King novel, FROM A BUICK 8.

Thanks for reading!

Octaman! Auch de Lieben!

OCTAMAN-1971-In Mexico a group of scientists investigate the legend of a half man/half octopus. Dr. Torres (Kerwin Matthews, THE 7th VOYAGE OF SINBAD) leads the group. Pier Angeli (who died of a drug overdose soon after filming ended) is his assistant. Also along are an American promoter (Buck Kartalian) who wants to bring Octa back alive, a college professor and some weird looking locals who become victims. The monster itself is a shambling octopus looking thing with floppy tentacles and mouth and eyes that never move. The costume was created by Rick Baker and Doug Beswick who both went on to bigger and better things. He kills by swatting victims with his tentacles but one guy gets a tentacle in his chest. When the group find a "octa-baby" the monster kills a scientist and takes it back leading me to believe that perhaps this is actually an "Octawoman"!

Jeff Morrow (THIS ISLAND EARTH) has one scene as a skeptical scientist. At one point they capture Octy but he escapes with Angeli in tow. If this kind of sounds like the plot was lifted from THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON keep in mind that OCTAMAN was written and directed by Harry Essex who wrote the screenplay for that 1954 classic!

Still OCTAMAN is fun low budget nonsense that doesn't drag and would make a great double bill with the monster catfish man "classic" ZAAT!

http://moviemeltdown.blogspot.com/2010/01/z-marks-spot.html

Thanks for reading!

More Predators

PREDATORS-2010-This kind of a sequel to the first PREDATOR and “restarting” of the franchise. A diverse but typical group (a black, a whiney white guy, a tough woman, a Russian and surprisingly a Japanese Yakuza) of humans are thrown together on a planet where 2 different types of the famous alien fight each other and hunt the humans. Adrien Brody tries his hand at being an action star by leading the group including Danny Trejo, former MMA fighter Oleg Taktarov, Alice Braga (from I AM LEGEND) and Topher Grace (SPIDER-MAN 3). Lawrence Fishburne shows up unexpectedly. It’s not bad as junk like this goes and doesn’t go overboard with the gory SFX but it’s too dark at times and the characters whisper too much. The climax (where Brody emulates Arnold) is very good. Director Nimrod Antal had previously made VACANCY and ARMORED (also with Fishburne). Robert Rodriguez was the producer.

Thanks for reading!

More Like A Tough Watch

HARD RIDE TO HELL-2010-A group of friends are terrorized, tortured and killed by a bunch of blood drinking devil worshippers who ride motorcycles in the Texas desert. They are eventually rescued by a knife salesman named Bob (Brent Stait from the ANDROMEDA TV show)). Top billed Miguel Ferrer is their one eyed leader called Jefe'. Everyone screams a lot and it's too dark to make out what's going on sometimes (not always a bad thing). It also features Katharine Isabelle from the GINGER SNAPS series of films. Director Penelope Buitenhuis made mostly TV movies before this direct to video horror.

Thanks for reading!

Silent Traffic

TRAFFIC IN SOULS-1913-This very early silent film is a social drama about prostitution. A candy shop worker named Mary (Jane Gail) attempts to expose a prostitution ring when her younger sister (Lorna Barton) is "recruited". Mary gets help from her policeman-boyfriend (Matt Moore). Although most of the characters have names they are usually referred to by a title like "The Go-Between" and "A Country Girl".
It's an interesting artifact and has it's moments but it's a little too long at 84 mins. (considered very long in 1913!). Some consider this the first exploitation film. 

Director George Loane Tucker made many silent era films but died in 1921 at the age of 49. One of his last films was THE MIRACLE MAN with Lon Chaney. This was a big hit for producer Carl Laemmle and it enabled him to start Universal Pictures.

Thanks for reading!

TV Shows From 2010

I only watched three TV series regularly this past year. Here they are:


THE WALKING DEAD-Everyone has probably heard about this AMC original production which tries to expand on the story lines laid down by George Romero's DEAD series and it's countless imitations. It's ironic that a once great cable station like AMC which horribly edits it's films and has more commercial interruptions than TBS would produce an original series that contains so much graphic violence and gore. A cop awakens from a coma (like in 28 DAYS LATER) and goes around the US trying to find his family and any other survivors. There's way too much CGI gore and most of the characters just argue and emote while occasionally fighting the living dead. The first season was only 6 episodes (how much faith did AMC have in this project before airing it?).




MOGULS AND MOVIE STARS-This was a great seven part original series produced by TCM that covers the beginnings of movie making up until the late '60's. Many old silent shorts are used plus interviews with filmmakers, writers and technical crews. Even TCM host Robert Osborne has a few things to say. It covers peep shows, Edison, Chaplin, the studio heads, blacklisting, the threat of TV, the demise of the studio system and a lot more. Some subjects are glossed over or left out, still it's well made and informative. Christopher Plummer provides the narration.



THE AVENGERS-THE WORLD’S MIGHTIEST HEROES-Maybe I’m a sentimental old fuddy duddy or just an immature “big kid” but I really enjoyed this animation based on the characters featured in Marvel Comics. It features all the “original” members (Iron Man, Capt. America, The Hulk, Ant Man, The Wasp and Thor plus The Black Panther). Other characters like Hawkeye, The Black Widow, Nick Fury and Doc Samson appear. There are a lot of super villains with The Leader, Baron Strucker, Modok and Hydra leading the way but SHIELD is basically presented as a force not to be trusted.

Thanks for reading!

Not In 3-D

ALICE IN WONDERLAND-2010-Another imaginative film by director Tim Burton, this time based on Lewis Carroll's famous stories.

19 year old Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is about to be to pushed into an engagement with a snooty upper class twit when she spies The March Hare and falls down a rabbit hole where she returns to Wonderland (now called "Underland") the world she had previously visited in her childhood dreams.

She grows several sizes, tames the "furious" Bandersnatch and tries to rescue The Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp in another weird, unique performance) out of the clutches of The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) and The Knave of Hearts (Crispin Glover, in an unusually subdued performance; well for him anyway) and their army of spear carrying playing cards. Although Alice at first believes the whole thing is a dream she comes to realize that it is her destiny to destroy the dread Jabberwock (voice of Christopher Lee) and restore The White Queen (a doofy Anne Hathaway) to her rightful reign. Tweedledum and Tweedldee are a funny highlight. Alan Rickman is the hookah smoking caterpillar and Michael Gough is the voice of the Dodo bird.

Screenwriter Linda Woolverton wrote THE LION KING. At the time of this writing Burton and Depp are planning a version of DARK SHADOWS.

Thanks for reading!